I’ve mentioned this before but we’d love to move home. We are already very lucky to live in a nice home, but it’s a home we bought when there was just the two of us and now there’s four! We never imagined when we bought our first house together that we’d have our children here. We both thought that this house would be a starter home and that we’d be moving on before children but with the economy the way it has been the chance to move has never presented itself.
However fast forward 9 years and we would love to move soon.
Our current house was a new build property and we have looked after it. We’ve recently been looking around at other new builds and today I think we may have seen the perfect place. Currently the sales office isn’t even open at the houses so we are watching and waiting, hoping to get in early when it does. I just hope that we’ll have enough deposit for a new place, but if we don’t then we’ll look for something else and accept that it wasn’t meant to be on this occasion and where ever we end up will be the path the universe wanted us to take.
If and when we do move I’ll be sad to say goodbye to the house that has given us so much. We got married here (well not married but we left one day as two people and returned the next day as a married couple). I laboured for most of my first birth at home as I wanted a home birth but it wasn’t meant to be. Flixster was born in our living room and that means that the house will always be special, this address is on his birth certificate as his place of birth. He will carry that with him for the rest of his life.
We’ve had many happy memories here, too many to mention but they are just that, memories. Memories to look back on and smile. As we look to the future though, I’m thinking and dreaming of all the memories we are yet to make as a family, and no matter where we live as long as we have each other we’ll be happy.

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Time is flying by and it’s already time for the second siblings pictures. This month my favourite was a photo I took of them both just as they played together. I didn’t intentionally take it with the project in mind but having seen the results I knew it would be the one for this month. They are starting to play so nicely together. It buys me a little time to run in and out of the room if I need to get something done.

I’m trying to teach the boy to hug Flixster around the middle rather than around his neck like he normally does!

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Flixster adores his big brother, his face still lights up when he enters the room, especially if it’s a day when they have been apart from each other. I do hope in the future they will stay close friends.

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At the moment they are loving a new toy that was kindly given to us by a friend. It’s a little playground with a slide, a ferris wheel and some jumping stairs, that large bean shaped objects play on. It’s a toy that they can both enjoy although it is aimed at babies rather than an almost 4-year-old but thankfully it keeps him entertained too, it features in many of my photographs! Although there are a few other toys that they can play together this is their main one. I’m on the look out now though for other things that are suitable. Once Flixster is toddling about though I hope that there will be more things like footballs and playing outside together.

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I adore my boys and am loving watching them grow up together. My absolute favourite capture for this month though I have left until last. I’m looking forward to seeing the end results at the end of this year. What a fab project to be involved with!

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dear beautiful

This is my last photo project of the month, all new to me this year but looking forward to looking back at how our family is growing and changing. We are starting this year with a 3 year old (well 3 and 4 months to be precise!) and an 8.5 month old. By the time the years out my first baby will be in school (sob!) and my second little man will be over 18 months old. Where does the time go? So I’m joining in with Lucy from Dear Beautiful and the ‘Me and Mine’ photo project to capture a family picture of us all together. This to me is by far the hardest project to join in with as I need someone else to capture us or use a timer and with two monkeys it’s easier said than done! So to start the year I’ve gone for an easy shot, it wasn’t even taken with this project in mind but it fits perfectly into it. It’s a selfie of us all on a recent train ride. We don’t often use public transport as a family as we usually travel by car but on this particular weekend we were meeting up with some friends in Manchester The hubby already has an annual train pass for work and the children are free so we thought as it was only me paying we’d take the train. It wasn’t too crowded so we got a seat and sat the children on our knee. We were dressed up for the cold and rainy weather too but it captures us at that moment in time.

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Mummy is currently enjoying
– A book called ‘The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up’
– Getting back into work
– Getting back to the gym

Daddy is currently enjoying
– Reading ‘The Martian’
– Listening to ‘We have Concerns’ podcast
– Watching ‘The Flash’ TV programme

The Boy is currently enjoying
– Reading ‘The Dinosaur that pooped’ trilogy of books
– Glue and sticking….everything!
– Playing with big boy Lego

Flixster is currently enjoying
– Standing up all the time
– Trying desperately to crawl
– Using his pointer finger to touch everything!

dear beautiful

Just as it was my first time joining in with siblings last week this week I’ve taken inspiration from ‘Me & You’ hosted by Lucy from Dear Beautiful last year, sadly she’s not running it this year. The idea is that each month I share a photo of just myself and my other half to remind us that although we are now mum & dad we are still us. We are still the same people who met and fell in love with each other. The same people who have walked beside each other holding hands through good and bad times. The same people who met at the alter and made promises to each other, and the same people who through love created two very special little boys.

I don’t really feel prepared for this months ‘Us’ picture and I thought I had loads of times to capture one but I guess time once again elapsed very quickly and I’m now stuck looking through for any pictures I can find that I’m happy to share!

This year see’s us celebrate 10 years of being us in March and 7 years of being married in April. It sound like a long time 10 years and I guess it is. It’s hard to remember a time before us a time when it was just me. I can’t imagine life without Neil being in it. For all my faults I know he loves me through thick and thin (and even when I’m moody!). So here it is, our picture, just us.

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Dear Boys,
I’ve not written you a letter in a while, but I have been updating our adventures on the blog. Christmas has come and sadly gone. It was my best Christmas ever, seeing the excitement and surprise in your eyes boys was magical. Christmas Day at home was lovely and Boxing Day at my mum’s was a great way to spend family time together. Moving forward we just went to bed on New Year’s Eve, I couldn’t bear the thought of having to get up on New Year’s Day after only a few hours sleep! At midnight I was woken by the fireworks so rolled over to wish daddy a happy new year. The year started on a high with us all spending some time together as thankfully daddy had time off work.

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Boy you have been growing so fast again, I’ve just submitted your school application. I can’t believe that you’re going to school in September, where has the time gone? I hope we get our first choice but we won’t find out until April now, so all we can do is wait. You’ve made me laugh so much recently with the things you say. The other day you were playing kitchens and offered to make me a smoothie, I gratefully accepted so you went off to make it. Bringing it back to me I asked you what was in it. After doing your thinking face (rolling eyes to ceiling) you replied “Raisins, macaroni and errrr…….sausages!” I’m sure that would have been lovely….not!
I nearly cried laughing listening to you in the car the other day too, we’d had fun counting and as we got to 100, you said “100 uh that’s stinks!” that wasn’t even the funny part,although I did laugh a little, following your lead I said “Oh yes 100 really stinks doesn’t he”. A few minutes later you started talking to yourself quietly in the back of the car this is what I heard, with all the parts spoken by you:
– Awwww what the matter 100?
Somebody said I stink
Who said you stink?
*whisper* Mummy said I stinked
(Shouting at me) Mummy that’s not nice, 100 is sad
I was nearly crying laughing at you telling me off for saying 100 stinks, you had started it all! You’ve also started being a bit cheeky and calling me a “silly dumpt” when something’s not going your way. I’ve had to tell you not to call me a dumpt, whilst trying not to laugh. I don’t know where you got that one from!
This last week you’ve had tonsillitis again, when you speak you sound like you’ve got cotton wool stuffed in your mouth. It’s not been too bad when you’ve had some pain relief but my heart hurts in the night when you wake up crying and I can’t get to you because of Flixster. Daddy always goes to administer cuddles and more pain relief but it hurts me when I just want to scoop you up and cuddle you all night long. I think we’re over the worst of it now and back on the up, hopefully you can get back to nursery tomorrow and a bit more of a routine rather than spending the day in pjs stuck in the house.

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Flixster you’ve just turned 9 months and I love you so much but you continue to frustrate me with your sleeping or lack of it! All evening we are up and down stairs to you unable to have any time to get anything done. I noticed this week your first tooth popping through. It’s a top one which I didn’t expect first and it looks like a big one so I think you may have rabbit teeth like mine! I’m desperately hoping things improve with your sleep soon, I’m not sure how much more I can take.
I’ve started back at work this week so you’ve had your first full day in nursery. I tried not to think of you most of the day so that I didn’t get upset. I think it will have been quite a shock for you as you’re such an attached baby, but we have no choice, I have to go back to work. I picked you up and the ladies said you’d been unsettled at times but at other times you were ok. I hope you settle in soon, for now it’s only 1 day a week so at least I still have you for 6 days. Your brother seems happy there so I hope in time you will be too. Even when I go back to my usual hours in April you’ll only be there for 3 days a week so I’ll still see you for 4 days. I know you’re safe there so that settles my mind.

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Looking forward through the year, we’re hoping to have many great family times. We already have a short break planned to Center Parks in March with Grandma and Grandad, it’s the one we had to rearrange after we found out you were due in our lives so it’s been a long time coming since we booked it a couple of years ago! I hope we have some good weather again this year like last so we can spend some great times on the beach near Grandmas house in Lytham. I see many a picnic to be had this year. With you starting school boy we won’t be able to have any autumn breaks this year so maybe we can for something in over the summer if finances allow.

I’m looking forward to another year watching you grow together boys and making lots of lovely family memories.

Please always remember I love you unconditionally ….forever.

Love Mummy x

This is my first time joining in with a photo project that has a specific theme. I love that I have a focus, something to capture. I have known about the various photo projects run by Lucy from Dear Beautiful blog for quite a while, I have long admired hers and other peoples pictures posted each month. In particular I admire my friend Jenny’s (Let’s Talk Mommy) pictures as I love to watch her beautiful children grow both in real life and on her blog. With the start of a new year I thought it was the ideal time to join in so that I can look back in another years time and watch how my two boys have grown. So my first picture is part of the #siblings photo project. A photograph of my two boys together…..riiiiiight! This is a challenge in itself. The boy won’t keep still and when he does then Flixster is moving around. Or the boy won’t even pose, or he hugs Flixster across the face, or sits on him etc etc and so it goes on. I’m not sure that my pictures are particularly good but they do capture us, in our moment! As you can see…..

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I do however have a favourite from over the Christmas period, this was them on Christmas Eve with their matching christmas pjs on from the Christmas Eve box.

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I’m so proud of the boy and how he has adapted to life as family of four in 2014 year. He has welcomed Flixster into our life with open arms and for the most part seems to love him (except when he’s crying). Flixster adores his big brother and his face lights up when his big brother enters the room. Flixster laughs at the boy being silly and encourages his cheeky side. I hope that the coming year sees them grow a strong bond as brothers which will continue a lifelong friendship for them both.

 

 

 

 

dear beautiful

We are well in to 2015 now, already 9 days in! I haven’t specifically done a post on new years resolutions as they are just so hard to keep. I thought the better thing to do would be to write a list of goals that I would like to achieve this year. Something I can keep referring to and if its written down then at least I feel more accountable. Something to work towards. A year is a long time, 365 days to get things done, make memories, share love and cuddles. 2015 is a big year for us. The year I have to buy school uniform for the first time, the year I return to work, the year Flixster turns 1. We have so much to be grateful and thankful for and if life stopped now and we continued forever stuck in this moment then I’d be a happy person. But life goes on and I like to have things to work towards. So here it is, my list of things I’m working towards in 2015.

1) Lose my baby weight – I know it’s on most people’s lists but this year I have to do it. I don’t want to be the fat mum at the school gates, I want to feel proud to stand there when he starts school. Knowing I’ve worked hard to get rid of my baby weight once and for all!

2) Save some money – Whilst I’ve been on maternity leave our savings have been depleted and so I feel a little uncomfortable that we have no emergency fund in case of emergencies. So once I’m back at work I’d like to start saving again

3) Get back to running – I got to a point before the boy was born that I had started to enjoy running a little bit. I’ve never been a runner. I was always the last person in the school cross-country. I was never picked for running on sports day (thankfully!) so I just thought it wasn’t for me. However before the boy was born I had started to use one of the couch to 10k apps on my phone and I actually saw results from it. For the first time in my life I was doing it, I was actually running. So I’d like to get back to that. I know I’ll have to start right back at the beginning again. But I want to do it and the sooner I start the better.

4) Do things when I think of them (i.e. don’t be lazy) – I often see little jobs that need doing and most of the time I will do them but sometimes I’ll put them off and then regret it later on or the next day. This year I plan to be a little less lazy and do things instead of letting them slip.

5) Remember birthdays – I’m so bad at sending birthday cards and presents. I seem to remember a month before then forget until at least a week after the event. That’s not good enough. I really really must get them sorted this year.

6) Speak to the universe more often – I believe in speaking to the universe, I’ve read lots of books about cosmic ordering and subjects like that. I know many people are sceptical, some laugh at the idea. But I think there’s something in it, I don’t know what it is and I can’t get my head around it, but its something. So I’m going to be practising it more often.

7) Learn more – If there’s something that peaks my interest, I’m going to make a point of learning about it. An active brain is a happy brain!

8) Be less harsh with myself – I’m my own worst critic

9) Be kind to everyone I meet – Everyone is fighting some unseen battle

10) Smile and laugh more – On the whole I’m a positive person but sometimes things get on my nerves like mess and untidiness, I need to learn to let go a little and smile when things aren’t quite right, or exactly how I’d like them to be!

 

 

Mums' Days

I’m going back to work next week. I’m think I’m supposed to feel sad that my maternity leave is over and worried that Flixster is starting nursery. The truth is that I will be worried about Flixster but I’m quite looking forward to returning to work. I’m lucky that I like my job I work with a great team of people. I’m also lucky that I’m not returning five days I’m going back to the 3 long days I did after the boy was born. Flixster will be attending the same nursery that the boy goes to 3 days a week. I really like the nursery, it’s in an old cottage and feels homely. The staff are nice and the children seem happy there. So I know that he’ll be looked after, its just hard at first to picture him away from me. I will try my best not to think to much about him, not because I don’t care but because I don’t want to upset myself. there is no other way at the moment, I have to go to work so he has to go to nursery. We don’t have family close by who would be able to have them and even if we did it’s a big commitment to have children for three days each and every week, when you’ve already worked all your life and are now retired.
I’m looking forward to being back at work so that people call me Jane and not just “Flixsters mummy”. I enjoy the challenge of work, something different everyday. Its rewarding as well to know I’m helping people. I know it sounds daft too but it’s me time, time when I can think about something other than housework, feeding and nappies. Time to use my brain and give it a workout.

I’ve been for Flixsters first trial at nursery today, we went to the baby room for an hour and I stayed with him. He seemed ok but he was sat with me for the whole time so he had no reason to be concerned anything was out of the ordinary. Tomorrow I’m due to leave him at lunchtime for around 90 minutes. I’m sure he’ll be fine, but only time will tell. I hope he settles in quickly and that he understands as best he can that we’ll always be back to pick him up each evening. I’m expecting him to catch all sorts of illnesses though in the next few months, it can’t be helped when they start nursery. I’m just hoping that his immune system is nice a strong to cope with them all.

He’s still breastfed so I’ll be sending milk in with him for the nursery to give him. I’ve not started pumping yet so I’d better do that soon as he starts properly next Wednesday. I’m going to have to pump at work too as he feeds lots during the day and I don’t want to stop feeding him yet.

I’m not sure how I’ll cope with the tiredness when I’m back in work, he still feeds lots of times through the night, I guess I’ve got no option but to cope. I just hope he starts sleeping a little more in the evening soon or I’ll be spending all day at work and then the evening trying to settle him, which will mean I never get anything done.

I hope the next few months aren’t too turbulent for us as a family but I’m not so sure they are going to be easy sailing for us either. I guess only time will tell!

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This is my first time linking up with ‘Point and Shoot’ link. I love photography, I’m not great at it but I try. I mainly use my iPhone camera as the quality is so good but my hubby has a fancy slr camera which I plan to learn to use properly this year! (Just another thing for the list of things to do!) So for my first time join in I’m using a snap of the Flixster from this weekend. Just a quick shot which we took while he was sat on daddies knee no long after he woke from his nap in daddies arms, hence the pillow face creases! We didn’t get up to much this weekend at all, feeling the pinch of maternity leave pay (i.e no pay!) we are trying to stay in a bit more and play with all the lovely things we got for Christmas rather than going out all the time and ending up buying food and drink out which always adds up easily!
So here it is my point and shoot offering!

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Yesterday I spent most of that day packing up Christmas. It was sad. I can honestly say that this year was the best Christmas I have had as a grown up. Seeing the magic through the eyes of a child is wonderful. The excitement building, the belief that magic is happening, it truly as fabulous. For weeks I was building up to it. I’m a very Christmassy person anyway. I love everything about it, the magic, the wonder, the waiting, the carol services, the meaning behind Christmas. Just everything to me is fabulous. So it was very much an anti-climax to be packing it away. I tried to just have in my mind that it was only temporary and that we will have an amazing year between now and next Christmas but I was still sad inside.
The saddest moment came when I accidentally smashed the boys special bauble, the one I bought him for his first Christmas, it was hand painted and said “My First Christmas 2011” on it. I cried, I was so sad to lose that one particular item, of all the items its irreplaceable. The boy saw me crying and came over to comfort me, it was very sweet. It was sweet up until the point he said –
“Don’t cry mummy, I’ll cheer you up with a big trump” then he went to fetch his new whoopee cushion “I’m going to do a big trump now” and proceeded to flop down on the whoopee cushion. I had to laugh, and I may not have the bauble to hold and look at each year any more but I certainly have the memory of his actions.

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This year was the first year I have ever cooked Christmas dinner. I’m lucky that I have a hubby who loves cooking, which is doubly lucky as I dislike it. I’ve tried to like it, I just don’t. I’d rather have a clean and tidy kitchen than a cooking mess, but that’s just me! Anyway I did it, I actually cooked it all by myself and it was a success. I learnt things too that I will apply for next year. I will prepare the veg the day before, as it will allow me more time with the children on Christmas morning. I will also lay the table and do as much as I can on Christmas eve so that I only spend minimal time in the kitchen away from the family.

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This year I left it to Christmas eve to see Father Christmas. We booked and went to Gullivers World on Christmas eve. Lets just say we won’t be doing that again.

I have absolutely adored having hubby home for the crimbo limbo time. We have spent much-needed time as a family together. Its been just perfect, I will really miss him on Monday when he’s back at work. Although I myself am back at work in two weeks after maternity leave so I have plenty to think about to keep myself busy. I have to get Flixster settled in nursery in the next couple of weeks, which I’m dreading as he’s such a velcro baby. I hope to goodness he settles ok, trying not to think about it now though. I also have to get the school application in for the boy before I go back to work too. Another thing to keep me busy! We still have two days left together though as a family so I’m going to make the most of it and enjoy every minute.

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Christmas this year was also a time to reflect on the past year, what a whirlwind it has been for us. A new person in our lives. Dear family and friends we have lost were also kept close to our hearts in the hope they are looking down upon us and enjoying it with us. This year for us is full of promise, things we’d like to do are stuck on our fridge in a list in the hope that the universe will provide for us if we believe and work hard enough. However whatever happens and whatever road we take I know that as long as we have each other we can get through anything.

I hope that if you’re reading this 2015 brings you health and happiness whatever path that you are currently travelling on. 2014 was an amazing year for us with many highs and thankfully only a few lows, I hope that 2015 can only get better.

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