Well I’m not really sure how I got to this birthday but my eldest turn 7 in August this year. How can the first six months of his life pass so slowly yet the rest of the 6.5 years whizz by? Thought I’d write him a little letter all for him.
Well it’s been a few weeks since your birthday. Your 7th birthday, how did we get this far this quickly. It only seems like last month I was smelling your tiny little baby self. Trying to soak up the smell. Then there was the sleepless nights. The utter shock of becoming a first time mum. The exhaustion while I sat up night after night to breastfeed you. If only I knew what I know now about safely bed sharing with you. The time would have been more enjoyable.
I barely remember you being little now. Apart form the photographs I have. I wish in hindsight I’d got more photos of us together. Of us feeding or cuddling. I barely have any.
When I think of you as a small person I just remember how fluent you were. You’ve always preferred adult company and conversation. You have always been old before your time.
You are a turning into a bright beautiful little dude whom I’m proud of every day. I’m trying so hard to teach you to be grateful for all we have. Sometimes though when you say it, it comes across as boastful. I know you don’t mean it like that though.
You have done so well in school but your handwriting still needs work!
For your birthday you had your first ever party with school friends. You went to see the Incredibles 2 at the cinema with 3 friends plus Felix (who is your absolute shadow and idolises you!). Due to having Roo I couldn’t come in but you all said you enjoyed it. Cinema was followed by lunch at Pizza Hut and again I ended up watching through the window. Next year little man I will be able to be more present for you I promise!
(I’ve blurred out your friends faces as I didn’t ask their parents permission and never want to assume)
We bought you an iPad as your present. You’ve been asking for either an iPad or a Nintendo switch for months. Both were a stretch and a very expensive present but you’ve been good and I love spoiling you. I’d also rather you had something educational so an iPad it was, you’ll get more out of it than a Nintendo Switch!
I hope that you enjoyed your special day and that you will remember it growing up.
You will forever be our first born and we hope that because you are the oldest we don’t expect too much of you.
We are proud of you everyday.
Just remember mummy loves you always and forever unconditionally.
There are now precious few days before the 2 of you become 3.
I need to tell you that I love you. I feel the need to hug you a little bit tighter. I need to hold on to you as you are. To pause time. To make sure you remember how it was before your brother arrives. How much you love each other now. How close you both are. How even though two are becoming three I’ll still have just the same amount of love for you and more than likely more.
My heart gets bigger everyday. Every time I hug you both. Every time I see you do something for the first time. Every time you make me proud. Every time you make me laugh. Your new brother will bring us more love. He’ll be the baby all of a sudden and I am well aware that in the moment he is born you two will suddenly seem very very old again.
Flixster up until now you’ve been the baby. Despite you reminding me all the time that you’re not a baby because you don’t wear nappies anymore! You’ll always be my baby. All three of you are my babies and always will be. You seem so loving towards your brother already. Keep hugging the bump. You are always saying hello to him. Recently your favourite phrase is to say that when I’m busy you will help to sing to the baby. I hope you do. I hope the new baby doesn’t disrupt you too much. You make me proud everyday with the things you do and say. You’re so observant and remember so many things that I didn’t think you would from being little. I hope your brothers birth is as magical as yours.
When I look back I don’t know where the time has gone. 3 and a half already. School next year, I’m not ready to let go of you yet. Please don’t grow up too quickly my baby.
Big boy, my first-born, my original baby. I hope you find the transition to three ok. I almost hope in a gentle way you don’t really notice that there’s much different.
I will still be there for you. I’ll still read with you and help with your homework. I’ll still listen when ever you need me to lend an ear. I’ll still nod along even when I have no idea what you’re really talking about (as it was prob a dream or something that happened at school) I’ll still be there to kiss you goodnight (and every single one of your teddies that currently crowd your bed). You will be the oldest of three. I hope that doesn’t make you feel too responsible. Daddy and I will still always be here for you, you don’t have to do it all alone.
You’ll be first to do many things like go to high school, sit exams etc. But don’t let that worry you. As we always tell you as long as you always try your best it doesn’t matter what happens. Yes I’ll prob say you should lead by example but it’s because you are the eldest. I’ll need you help most of all with the baby. Of course you are still only little yourself, just 6 but I know you can help me. Help me get to know the baby. Help me to show him lots of love. You can help Flixster and show him how to be gentle around the baby. I want you to be the proud older brother.
As we all look forward to a new chapter in our lives together never forget how much we both love you.
Sorry I haven’t written in a while and when I started writing to you I thought I’d have more to write about. I guess life gets in the way. I’ll try and make more of an effort and make sure our little moments aren’t forgotten about with the passing of time.
So much has happened since I last wrote and so much is about to change.
To my beautiful first born big boy. This summer you turned 6 years old. Where has the time gone? It doesn’t seem two minutes since you were a new born and I was struggling with all those sleepless nights. The long lonely nights of feeds and comforting. Back in the early days it was hard but I had no experience of this before and it was all so new. How quickly 6 years has passed. You are now developing into a handsome, thoughtful, clever little boy who makes me proud everyday. You really like reading comics and playing computer games just like your daddy. You are most proud of you ‘Library’ and ‘office’ in your bedroom. For your birthday you asked for stationary, a microscope, a cricket set and some other littel things. You were happy with the carrot cake we bought at your request.
The stationary went down really well, you were so happy with all the bits and pieces that Grandma had bought for you, including the hole punch and paper clips.
You have now started year 2 in school and I think you’re getting on ok. It’s only been a week but so far so good. I know you dislike writing so will try and get away with minimum effort on that but it would be nice if you at least tried! Maths and reading are your absolute strong subjects. You are a little wizard with numbers, I hope you carry on learning and enjoying maths as much as you do now. All I ever ask is that you try your very best with everything.
To my beautiful baby boy (soon to be not such a baby) you are fast developing the cheekiest little personality. Your speech over the last few months has come on so quickly and I can now hold full conversations with you which I love doing. You are showing more of an interest in books too and love listening to a bedtime story (if you’re not distracted too much!) Your favourite thing is to be outside, you’re such an outdoor person. You love nothing better no matter what the weather than throwing on a pair of shoes and getting out. The first thing you tell me about nursery is if you’ve had chance to go out or not.
At nursery you’ve now moved up to the pre-school room and you are learning more and more each day. The lovely ladie have also noted how you’ve started to come out of your shell and speak a lot more. You are good at nursery which I’m pleased about as you’re not always an angel at home! I think you and your brother wind each other up quite a bit when you are together though so it’s not just you! After Christmas you’ll be starting at the new nursery which is attached to the school I hope you will attend. To prepare you we’ve visted and talked about it lots, so much so that you want to go now. I do hope you love it as much as your current nusery. Your current nursery i so much more homely and they’ve known you a long time. the new nursery is much more like a school but I guess I have to let you grow up sometime. You won’t be my baby forever. Although for now I treasure the times you get so tired on a Friday night when we watch family films that you fall asleep in my arms, like a baby. I love it.
We’ve started toilet training 5 days ago and so far so good. You seem to have mastered the wee’s and were doing ok with the poo’s until you got to nursery. Hopefully you’ll get it very soon and stop having the accidents. I think you just get so distraced when playing and forget! I’m proud of how you’ve done though so far.
All too soon boys our little world of just you two will change forever as you’re new brother arrives to join us. I’m worried that you’ll feel pushed out but I’ve tried to include you in everything. I hope you remember watching the bump grow as you grow older yourselves. At 6 and 3 you’re likely to not remember a whole lot about the pregnancy but I do want to involve you. This is the last little person we’ll be adding to the family and I guess he will take the place of ‘baby boy’. I hope we don’t upset the balance.
I’m planning another home birth and I sort of hope it coincides with you being able to be there when he’s born. I think it would be a fabulous thing for you to experience and I think you’d be ok with it all and take it in your stride. I thik it would help you understand that the baby just didn’t turn up out of the blue but arrived into this world surounded by love.
Just becasue we’re having another baby doesn’t mean I will love you any less, in fact I hope my love will just keep on growing like it always has with you both. My heart can accomodate one more little guy.
I can’t wait for you to all grow up together, I hope you all stay close. By close I mean close at heart, no matter where life takes you. No matter what journey you follow or how far you travel always know you have each otherNever forget I love you with all my heart forever and always.
It’s been quite some time since I wrote a proper letter to you. So I thought I’d start 2017 with a letter about our Christmas memories of 2016. I know that you will each remember in your own special way but at just 5 and 2 year old memories will become hazy and fade with time. So here’s a letter all about our celebrations.
The Countdown Begins
December started off as I always like it to start, a letter to Father Christmas ( I prefer to call him that, I know ‘Santa’ rolls of the tongue but to me he’s Father Christmas)
We walked together to the post box to post your carefully written letters. Well Thomas wrote one and Felix just scrawled a mark and I wrote some things for him.
Then on the morning of December 1st you came down to find the advent gifts and the elf door.
I wrote a post back in 2014 about the door which can be found here.
The elf door has returned year after year since then. This year it turned up right beside the fire place.
You each had a chocolate advent calendar as well as an additional toy advent calendar. Thomas you got the Lego City one and Felix you had the Vtech toot toot one. As well as the calendars the Christmas Dvd’s arrived and a couple of books too. I don’t like to keep the Christmas Dvd’s out all year round or they don’t feel special.
Late Night Shopping
With the countdown to Christmas on I promised to take you late night shopping Thomas. As a child this was one of my favourite memories of Christmas. Unlike today there was no local huge shopping centre that was open all hours. Late night shopping meant a special trip to the local town (usually a Thursday night) when all the shops would be open late. In my childhood the coffee shop culture wasn’t the thing it is now either so there would be no coffee stop. Something which probably seems the norm to you two boys.
For me late night shopping at Christmas would mean dressing up warm and for a special treat getting the bus to the town and going in and out of the shops to look for Christmas presents. These days most of my things are bought online so even the actual ac of “shopping” seems like a treat even to me! So I took you shopping Thomas, but instead of a town we went to the Trafford Centre. I had a few bits to get so it seemed logical. It was a late night for you, way past your bedtime but you seemed to enjoy it non the less. I treated you to your first ever McFlurry too and I had a coffee. Of course being an ice cream fan you were impressed!
I took you to chose a birthday and Christmas present for daddy. You chose some pyjamas and some socks. Typical Daddy presents!
Christmas School Play
On the 13th and 14th of December it was time for your school Christmas play Thomas. Although you are in year 1 now and this was your second year in school it was the first play you had done. In reception you were at a different school and they just did a songs show. I felt a bit swizzled, I only got to see you stand in an all black outfit and sing. Although it was lovely it just wasn’t the same as a ‘Christmas show’. So this year I sat (and stood as I was at the back) though your show. It was beautiful. You were a star this year and I could see that you did your very best to perform. I know you’d been practising at school for weeks so when the night finally came I was excited to watch it.
I was so proud of you. Always remember that I love you so very much beautiful boy. My heart swelled with pride as you copied the dance moves and sung your heart out. Knowing all the words.
Well done little man and to all key stage 1, it was a fabulous show and a credit to you all.
Rotary Club Father Christmas
A few nights later the rotary club Father Christmas was due to visit our area. I think we peaked a little too soon and got a bit excited about this! We seemed to have to wait for what seemed like ages! I heard the music from the float about an hour before he got to our street, and sadly that night it was raining. But we were desperate not to miss him so ended up in and out of the house for about an hour to just keep looking! Finally it was our turn, and you both were very excited by his visit. You put your money in the collection box. Thats what I love about you Thomas you are very generous even when you don’t have much to give. Then you had photos and we went to bed. Late again but with happy hearts.
I’m not sure you were to pleased to get too close Felix but you were excited by the lights and music!
Then it was time for mummies night out with work. The Saturday of my Christmas do had come and I am thankful that my lovely husband was there to look after you both whilst mummy got to go out and have some Christmas food and drinks with work friends. I loved it and felt great now that I’d lost 2 stone with Slimming World last year.
By now it was almost Christmas, not long until the big day but we still had school and work to get through!
On the 18th of December you and I Thomas made this gingerbread house together, well I say together. We were supposed to make it together but you were somewhat distracted by a film at the time. So I ploughed on through and this was the result. I was pretty proud of it considering it was the first time I’d put one together. Ok it was a kit but still, it stood up! And it looked pretty nice on the coffee station over the Christmas period too.
Your school Thomas didn’t break up until the 22nd December so the countdown was short once school was out! Felix you were in nursery until the 23rd.
On Friday the 23rd I was still at work and so was daddy but you were off Thomas. Daddy was working from home but had a very important call to make in the morning so for the first time you came with me to work for just a couple of hours. You were so good and sat in the office whilst I got on with the job. Everyone loved seeing you and said how good you were. For you it was a treat to be in work with mummy and you took the responsibility of being the recycling bin manager very carefully. People in our office were having a nice Christmas tidy up and were giving you paper waste to put into the slot in the bin which you loved.
Daddy picked you up by 11 and I was able to finish the day off and get the job done. Making sure everything was ok before I left for Christmas. I am so lucky that I didn’t have to work over the Christmas period so got 4 days off before I had to go back.
We were also lucky that Christmas fell on a Sunday so Christmas eve was a Saturday. Lots of time to get festive and prepare for the big day to come.
Christmas eve morning another tradition. The arrival of the Christmas eve box and the disappearance of the elf.
Theres always new pjs, a film, some chocolate, some fun things to do and the reindeer food.
During the day we spent most of the time just hanging around, playing and preparing. Daddy and I did as much as we could to get the meal prepared ahead of time so that we could spend Christmas morning with you both and not in the kitchen. I laid the table and prepared the conservatory for the big day. This year we had moved the table to the conservatory to make room for more play in the house.
It works well because we are lucky enough to have a table in the kitchen to eat on for everyday meals. By 4pm we all went to church for the crib service.
Christmas Eve – The Evening
On our return we had our traditional Christmas eve buffet. Just the four of us. We watched Muppets Christmas carol and drank hot chocolate. I have always watched muppets Christmas carol on Christmas eve for as long as I can remember. Since my mum bought the VHS (you’ll have to google that boys to find out what it is!) we have always watched it on Christmas eve, something I will continue with you boys too. Of course now we have it on streaming so no actual physical disk or video required! Despite that I still only get the dvd out on christmas eve.
So with new pjs on and hearts full of excitement it was time to scatter the reindeer food and go up to bed!
Mince pie, milk and carrot left out and up you went!
You probably have realised boys how much I love Christmas. My heart is aching just writing this, sad that it’s all over for another year. I already miss the excitement and the anticipation.
The day, this was it, the much anticipated day was here!!
We woke up before you as you’d both been having late nights and had got into a later morning routine which was nice.
Thomas you were up first to discover the stocking on your door. You raced into us to wake us up (we were already awake!). The Felix you were up not long after. We all got quickly dressed (also a tradition, which is weird as any other weekend we’d be downstairs in pjs!) and went down for breakfast. On the way down you discover the Father Christmas had wrapped the living room door too as a surprise! How funny!
Christmas breakfast is always a treat. Usually its smoked salmon but this year we were going to have pancake stacks. Trying to relive our american trip I think! I had also bought pop tarts for you two. I know they are incredibly bad for you and so full of rubbish but it was a special day!
We sat at the table and unwrapped the stockings, you both loved it. I had (and still do) have a heart full of happiness. I love seeing the magic in your faces.
After a lovely breakfast it was time for the main event, the presents! Now I didn’t take lots of picture at this point because we were just enjoying being together and opening some gifts. You both loved the what you had received. Thomas your main present was Lego Dimensions, which you were so happy with. And Felix your main gift was the Vtech Toot toot friends house. You love playing with people and houses so that was a hit!
One of the other presents that you loved Thomas was the Usborne Maze Book. I can’t recommend this enough for children who love to do mazes. It’s full of different kinds of finger mazes to do, which kept him occupied for ages and still does!
Not long after we done most of the presents my parents arrived, they were coming for dinner. We all opened some more presents and then hubby and I got on with cooking some dinner (well mainly he cooked and I helped a bit!)
I opened some lovely Prosecco for dinner, theres on me who drinks in our house. my dad had a glass too but my mum was driving so didn’t have any.
Even here as we start dinner you can see the maze book is still bing intently studied!
Dinner was lovely, cooked mainly by daddy the chef. Everyone enjoyed it and it was a reall family time.
Felix your choice of food didn’t surprise anyone…
Just 6 pigs in blankets for you! You love your sausages! I love that you nearly lined them up too. Although you are speaking loads Felix you still call them ‘dosages’ which is just so cute!
After dinner we had some coffee and a play with all the new toys. All too soon it was time for your Grandparents to leave. With full tummies and tired but happy we all headed to bed. That was it Christmas day over for another year. It had been an amazing day and we are so lucky to have such lovely people and things in our lives.
Another fabulous Christmas has been and gone and now we are looking straight in the eye of a new year, which is already filled with so much promise, excitement and gratitude. I just wanted to take the time though boys to write about our Christmas so that as it starts to fade from your memories you will be able to look back at this letter and remember.
The Build Up to Christmas
The build up to Christmas for us was hectic, we had just moved into our fabulous new home but everything was in chaos, the house was still half full of boxes and we seemed to be constantly trying to unpack and sort (just as we are now still). We’d had a few awful bugs which went through us all (literally) However we did manage to fit in some lovely Christmas activities though which included a trip to Winter Wonderland (an indoor theme park) and also breakfast with Father Christmas at a forest school.
Christmas Eve started early (as it always does with you two, one day I hope you will sleep later than 5am!) and we went downstairs to find that the elf had gone back to the North Pole but had left a Christmas eve box for you both.
The box had new pj’s (which is a tradition now in our house) for you both, a couple of books which I get out every year as I think they are lovely Christmas books. There was also the Muppets Christmas Carol dvd as that’s the one I always hold back to watch on Christmas eve as a family. It’s something I always did with my mummy when I was living at home so I like to carry that on. I’d also put in some hot chocolate, that we could have with the film and some minion popcorn which I know the boy would love. Lastly there was a Christmas jigsaw which I thought would be fun to do, as it turned out I ended up doing it on my own and some reindeer slippers for the boy. I didn’t get any for Flixster as he just doesn’t keep them on long enough. Then at the back I slipped in the usual Father Christmas plate and some reindeer food.
During the day on Christmas eve we just spent time together as a family, daddy had to spend most of the day in the garage building your play kitchen as we hadn’t had time to do it before. I took Flixster out for a walk for his nap to a local mill shop where I went to look for some Christmas place mats as I realised we didn’t have enough for the next day.
As it started to get dark I could feel the excitement building, the boy wanted to get the reindeer food out on the lawn, so we had made you both some tea, put the new pj’s on and stood at the front window scattering the food from the window onto the grass, which was followed by drinking hot chocolate and watching the muppets Christmas Carol.
After hot chocolate it was bed time so that we could wait for Father Christmas to come (we put out the obligatory mince-pie, carrot, milk and magic key of course!) and mummy and daddy could have some dinner and settle down to wrap the final bits!
I love that Father Christmas always leaves snowy footprints on the carpet!
The morning came very quickly and of course you were both up early. The stocking on your doors kept you busy whilst we all got ready and dressed. When I was a child we couldn’t go down until we were dressed and altogether as a family (well at least my mum was there!) A quick photo on the bottom of the stairs to capture the moment and then into the lounge to see if he’d been..
After a few presents had been opened we moved to the kitchen to start preparing our first treat for the day a fabulous daddy special breakfast. We took the play-doh toy sweet shop with us. The boy had wanted this for so long, I’m really not super keen on play-doh and even less so on mixing the colours (shock horror) but it was worth it to see your face and the fun you’ve had with it. It was the first time I’ve seen you playing quite nicely together and it made my heart feel warm and fuzzy.
The breakfast (which was more brunch) was so lovely and I was thankful throughout the day for having my family around me, food on the table and presents under the tree. I am so lucky to have so much to be thankful for.
Soon after breakfast my mum and dad arrived as we had invited them to come to ours for Christmas day, it’s the first time in 9 years we’ve been able to do it as we now have a bit more space to host people, rather than having to drag the table to the middle of the living room.
The boys played with Grandma and Grandad whilst hubby and I sorted out a starter. We put Flixster down for an early nap so that he’d be awake in time for the main dinner in a couple of hours time.
We did a trio of mini starters which consisted of tomato and basil soup with a slice of baguette bread, pate with crisp bread and prawn cocktail on a lettuce leaf. I’m sure I could have come up with fancy names for it but I like to keep things simple.
I’d looked forward to setting the table for so long, all the time we knew we were moving I was planning the Christmas table in the back of my head. I wanted it to be amazing to look at visually, I love Christmas so much. After a break of an hour or so it was time to serve the main event.
I have to say it was delicious, hubby did most of the cooking as its his thing. I helped with a few bits and the presentation of course!
Even Flixster ate way more than he normally does which was endorsement indeed! We all throughly enjoyed sharing the meal together around the Christmas table.
After dinner we were all very full and the boys were ready for a play again with a ll the wonderful things they had received as presents. They were very lucky, we tried not to buy too much as we are grateful for them having both sets of grandparents who also like to buy a gift or two. It was time for another tradition from my childhood, tree present’s. These were the very last present’s of the day hidden inside the tree, there are always a low value gift that’s usually a novelty, maybe a magazine, a tiny toy, bubble bath etc. I wanted to carry this on with the boys so I have done tree presents every year. We passed them around and everyone enjoyed the last of the presents.
The rest of the afternoon was spent drinking coffee and just being us. Grandma and Grandad left after the sun had gone down to go back home and we wound down for bedtime. Exhausted and happy the boys were put to bed and we had time together to reflect on the day (and eat the traditional Christmas day eve cheese and crackers!)
Another fabulous year together and another fabulous Christmas day, exhausted, happy and grateful we tucked ourselves up in bed to start again the next day.
So boys more family festive memories were made.
Please always remember I love you both unconditionally….forever.
Before you were born or even thought about your daddy and I loved each other.
We met at work as we both worked within the same department. Doing completely different jobs but under the same roof. We were friends for many years and would go out on nights out with work together. I always thought your daddy was funny and sweet but never thought of us as a couple together. It was many years later that he finally plucked up the courage to ask me on a date. I’ll be forever grateful that he did and that our love story started right there and then. You are both a part of that too, our love story didn’t end with you, it’s still going strong and growing bigger and bigger digging its roots deeper into the soil of life. We both love you so much and are proud everyday that we created such special little people who are growing so quickly before our eyes and continuing to amaze us everyday.
Boy this week I went to the first meeting at your school. I wasn’t sure if it was something you could attend as it started at 6pm. There were a few other children there but I knew that you’d be getting tired right around that time and so I thought it best you stayed at home. I do wish though I could have let you see your new classroom. The evening started with an introduction from the head teacher. She seems nice and part of the reason I chose the school for you. It has a lovely family feel and I hope that you’ll fit right in there. We were given lots of hand outs about various aspects of school life. They explained the school day and what you’d be doing when. Lunch is at 11:30 and we can choose the menu together from home in advance. I think you’ll love the dinners they sound really nice and the catering staff said it was all cooked on site which is good. In the morning there’s a little space for some worship which is nice and the reason I waned you to go to a church school. Even if you decide religion isn’t for you that’s ok, just use that time to reflect and be grateful for the day ahead. After lunch you get some tooth brushing time, this I thought was a good practise and I was also glad to read about hand washing before lunch. Is it too much to send you with some alcohol gel? I think my healthcare background has passed on the importance of good hand hygiene to you! Even Flixster knows the drill when it comes to alcohol gel before eating!
There were uniforms there to view too and an order form. I need to get on with ordering them for you, it just seems like a big thing to do! Your uniform will be grey trousers, a white polo shirt which can be monogrammed but it’s not compulsory, along side a red school jumper with the school logo on it. Theres also a PE kit to buy, book bag and kit bag. It’s all so exciting yet scary!
I’ve arranged for your teacher to come and meet you in a few weeks at home. I couldn’t find out if your teacher was male or female as the reception classes have one of each. You asked me to find out two things at the meeting, what sex your teacher is or in your words “Is the person going to be a man or a girl?” and what your password will be for the computer, hopefully when they visit it will all become clear. I did ask though if you were to have a computer password and apparently not until you move up the school so that should put your mind at rest. I had a look at your classroom and it seems like a lovely environment for you to grow in. That was the part I wish you’d seen. When I’d finished I came home to find you waiting for me, but you’d fallen asleep on the sofa. It’s the first time you’ve ever done that in your life and it reminded me just how little you still are. Being an August baby I worry about how you will keep up with your peers.
Flixster you just get cheekier and funnier everyday at the moment. You’ve taken your very first steps. Its slow and steady progress at the moment but you’ll get there. I think it’s almost the same date as your brother did. He was walking around 13 months just like you are. On Tuesday you took 3 consecutive steps at the breastfeeding group we go to. I wish I’d caught it on camera. I’ll try to catch you this weekend if I can so that you will be able to watch it back when you’re older. I love all the new things your learning. Each morning I get a hug from you and I love it.
I love kissing your chubby little cheeks.
However I don’t love you waking up between 3 & 4am each day. Please please please can you sleep just a little bit longer in the morning. We always bring you up into our room when you wake and I lie down to feed you but that’s it then, you’re up and about and raring to go, ready to menace us.
You know your own mind and you are very strong-willed, you know what you want even if you’re not supposed to have it! I love watching you grow up so fast before my very eyes. You adore the boy and the relationship between you both is fantastic to watch. I hope you will be close together for many many years and support each other in all you do.
The boy told me the other day that he loves having a brother, my heart melted when he said it. He’s such a sweet caring boy. You both are.
I’m hoping to make it a summer to remember but please forgive me if we don’t get it quite right. I want you to enjoy your last summer before school as once you starts I’ll miss my days with you so much. So lets enjoy the long summer days and try to get out and about as much as possible.
Please always remember I love you both unconditionally….forever.
We’ve had some pretty busy weeks lately. With Grandma on Mondays, breastfeeding group Tuesdays and me back at work for my 3 full days Wednesday to Friday the weeks are passing by in a blur. I can’t seem to find time to get the house straight let alone write a blog post. I have however promised myself to find more time from now onwards. I don’t want to miss any special moments or firsts in your life.
Flixster I’m going to start with you as we’ve reached a very special milestone in your life. One year ago you came to join us to start your life here on earth. I remember it like it was yesterday and still love to relive your birth story. What an amazingly special time it was.
This was you just moments after you joined us as I sat back to admire your face and start our journey together.
This is you just last night in the bath, gosh how you’ve grown. We’ve had our ups and downs. Mostly up’s but I do wish you’d starting liking your sleep more! Mummy and daddy are pretty exhausted now!
You are defiantly a happy little man, always smiling (unless we’re trying to get you down for a nap, then its screaming!) but on the whole a contented little man. You’re in nursery 3 days a week now and I think you are getting more used to it. I try to take a peek through the window before I enter the room to pick you up and 9 times out of 10 you are ok. I know the ladies look after you there and they have told me you’re ace at giving hugs. I attribute that to all the carrying you’ve had.
I love how you’re face lights up with excitement when the boy enters the room, he is your absolute favourite person. In the mornings when he comes to join us in bed I sometimes think you’d explode with happiness the amount of screaming and dancing you do when you first see him.
On your birthday itself we didn’t really celebrate as we’d all been so poorly with a tummy bug, so we postponed the celebration to coincide with our wedding anniversary. Of course we let you have your presents’ on your birthday though as the boy was dying to play with them. For months he’s wanted to get you (really him too) some Toot toot toys, and form the moment he knew we’d bought them he kept asking if he could have a ‘little’ try!
Now that you’ve had your birthday presents off the family too you’ve got quite a collection, I’m not sure where we are going to keep it all!
Boy – we’ve just had a big milestone in your life too. We know now which school you’ll be attending in September. I’m so grateful that we were offered a place at our number 1 choice of school. I am extra grateful given that I know if lots of mummies who were disappointed with their allocated placements. It’s our nearest school too which is only a few minutes walk away. The thought of school for you fills me with both excitement and dread. I’m excited that another chapter of your life will start, but you’re just so young still. You will have just turned 4 when you start. I hope you cope ok with 5 days a week, the structured learning environment and the large mix of people.
I’m trying my best to prepare you for whats to come, I mention school a lot and talk about where you will be going in September. We have talked about uniforms and classrooms and having lunch there too. The other day I noticed that they publish the plans for the term ahead on the website so I’ll have a look and see if there’s anything we can do to prepare. I’m not asking you to be top of the class or super clever, I just want you to try your best in everything that you do. To be kind to everyone else and to listen carefully in class. I hope that for the first term at least we won’t have to let you go to after school club as that’s a bus ride away but I’m not sure yet how we are going to sort out school pick-ups. It’s just another hurdle that we will learn to cross.
You have been really loving with Flixster from the start but I can see now that he’s more mobile he just wants to do everything you’re doing. I know this is annoying you at times but I’m trying to teach you to share with him. I know he must irritate you when you’re trying to do something but honestly he just loves you so much that he follows you everywhere. He’ll soon be talking like you and I hope that you will be best friends together. OF course I know it won’t be plain sailing all the time but as long as you’re there for each other when it matters that’s all I ask.
I hope that despite our busy lives we can continue to have adventures together and make some fabulous memories this summer, it’s already shaping up to be a good year. Being a family of 4 is fantastic and I look forward to our up coming adventures.
Please always remember I love you unconditionally ……..forever.
I’ve not written to you in a while. I just didn’t want to just repeat the same thing over again. I wanted to make sure I had something to tell you.
Boy – You’ve said some adorable things recently. Its moments when I hear you say loving things to me, Flixster or Daddy that make my heart melt. Yesterday when I was brushing my hair you insisted on using the brush too saying you didn’t want to look like a ‘Squarecrow’. It was just beautiful. You are so loving with Flixster too, always trying to cheer him up if he’s sad, or play peek a boo to keep him entertained.
Sometimes though I do wonder if you can’t exhale without speaking or making a noise, even when you’re eating you have to make a humming noise. I was chatting to you the other day and politely asking you to keep the noise down in the back of the car as I was trying to concentrate and you came back with ‘Sorry Mummy I can’t turn the volume down on my voice as I’ve got a big massive chicken inside me and he keeps making me loud!’ I laughed so much I nearly cried! I don’t know where you get these things from!
While we were on my bed changing Flixsters nappy the other day I was gentle playing with his feet. You came over took one sniff and exclaimed ‘Pooooooooooweeeeey, his feet smell of Halloween things and Halloween dresses’. That was a weird one, since we are now in March!
We’re still waiting to find out which school you’ll be going to, we’ll find out in April. I dearly hope you’ll be ready for school being an August baby. It’s going to be a tough transition for you I think as you don’t deal well with change but I will prepare you as best I can for it. I can’t imagine you in a school uniform but the time will soon be upon us and you’ll be my baby no longer. I never thought I’d be a crying mum at the gates but the closer we get the more I’m getting emotional about it.
Flixster – Time is passing so quickly, a little too quickly. This week you’re turning 11 months, not far from your first birthday already. This last week you’ve tried so hard to learn to crawl and to some extend you’ve managed it now. It’s a mix of wiggling, pushing and rolling, but you’re getting where you want to be, and thats usually where I don’t want you to be! Yesterday on the way to Grandma’s I had to stop the car quickly after your brother exclaimed that he thought you were eating paper, then he shouted no mummy its LEGO! Indeed you were eating two pieces of lego, goodness knows if they’d been in your mouth since we left the house or if you’d concealed them in your hand then later popped them in your mouth. I really do have to keep an extra eye out for you now you’re on the move.
You’ve started nursery but I don’t think you like it one bit, and all I can say is sorry. Sorry you have to go there, sorry we have to leave you. Sorry you don’t understand why we’re not there for you but one day I will explain to you why. I know the people there look after you and your brother is very happy there. It’s a lovely place and I know you’re safe but being such an attached baby I think you’re finding the transition hard. I can’t not work though, I have to go back to work to earn money to keep us in our home. I just hope you settle in soon. I’m sending in breastmilk for you to have so hopefully that’s bringing you comfort during the day. I love you so much and it’s hard to see you upset there, but we don’t have any other option right now.
Together you are playing, although boy I’m not sure you’re too keen on how mobile and interested Flixster is in all your toys. I’m trying to explain to you that Flixster isn’t actually snatching on purpose, he just wants to see what your doing. His face still lights up when you enter the room, I think you’re going to be good friends.
Please always remember I love you unconditionally ….forever.
I’ve not written you a letter in a while, but I have been updating our adventures on the blog. Christmas has come and sadly gone. It was my best Christmas ever, seeing the excitement and surprise in your eyes boys was magical. Christmas Day at home was lovely and Boxing Day at my mum’s was a great way to spend family time together. Moving forward we just went to bed on New Year’s Eve, I couldn’t bear the thought of having to get up on New Year’s Day after only a few hours sleep! At midnight I was woken by the fireworks so rolled over to wish daddy a happy new year. The year started on a high with us all spending some time together as thankfully daddy had time off work.
Boy you have been growing so fast again, I’ve just submitted your school application. I can’t believe that you’re going to school in September, where has the time gone? I hope we get our first choice but we won’t find out until April now, so all we can do is wait. You’ve made me laugh so much recently with the things you say. The other day you were playing kitchens and offered to make me a smoothie, I gratefully accepted so you went off to make it. Bringing it back to me I asked you what was in it. After doing your thinking face (rolling eyes to ceiling) you replied “Raisins, macaroni and errrr…….sausages!” I’m sure that would have been lovely….not!
I nearly cried laughing listening to you in the car the other day too, we’d had fun counting and as we got to 100, you said “100 uh that’s stinks!” that wasn’t even the funny part,although I did laugh a little, following your lead I said “Oh yes 100 really stinks doesn’t he”. A few minutes later you started talking to yourself quietly in the back of the car this is what I heard, with all the parts spoken by you:
– Awwww what the matter 100?
Somebody said I stink
Who said you stink?
*whisper* Mummy said I stinked
(Shouting at me) Mummy that’s not nice, 100 is sad
I was nearly crying laughing at you telling me off for saying 100 stinks, you had started it all! You’ve also started being a bit cheeky and calling me a “silly dumpt” when something’s not going your way. I’ve had to tell you not to call me a dumpt, whilst trying not to laugh. I don’t know where you got that one from!
This last week you’ve had tonsillitis again, when you speak you sound like you’ve got cotton wool stuffed in your mouth. It’s not been too bad when you’ve had some pain relief but my heart hurts in the night when you wake up crying and I can’t get to you because of Flixster. Daddy always goes to administer cuddles and more pain relief but it hurts me when I just want to scoop you up and cuddle you all night long. I think we’re over the worst of it now and back on the up, hopefully you can get back to nursery tomorrow and a bit more of a routine rather than spending the day in pjs stuck in the house.
Flixster you’ve just turned 9 months and I love you so much but you continue to frustrate me with your sleeping or lack of it! All evening we are up and down stairs to you unable to have any time to get anything done. I noticed this week your first tooth popping through. It’s a top one which I didn’t expect first and it looks like a big one so I think you may have rabbit teeth like mine! I’m desperately hoping things improve with your sleep soon, I’m not sure how much more I can take.
I’ve started back at work this week so you’ve had your first full day in nursery. I tried not to think of you most of the day so that I didn’t get upset. I think it will have been quite a shock for you as you’re such an attached baby, but we have no choice, I have to go back to work. I picked you up and the ladies said you’d been unsettled at times but at other times you were ok. I hope you settle in soon, for now it’s only 1 day a week so at least I still have you for 6 days. Your brother seems happy there so I hope in time you will be too. Even when I go back to my usual hours in April you’ll only be there for 3 days a week so I’ll still see you for 4 days. I know you’re safe there so that settles my mind.
Looking forward through the year, we’re hoping to have many great family times. We already have a short break planned to Center Parks in March with Grandma and Grandad, it’s the one we had to rearrange after we found out you were due in our lives so it’s been a long time coming since we booked it a couple of years ago! I hope we have some good weather again this year like last so we can spend some great times on the beach near Grandmas house in Lytham. I see many a picnic to be had this year. With you starting school boy we won’t be able to have any autumn breaks this year so maybe we can for something in over the summer if finances allow.
I’m looking forward to another year watching you grow together boys and making lots of lovely family memories.
Please always remember I love you unconditionally ….forever.
As the festive season is upon us I wanted to tell you what Christmas was like when I was a child. I know it’s probably hard to imagine mummy as a child herself but it doesn’t seem very long ago to me at all. Once you are all grown up yourselves you will realise why I say that. Christmas as a child was magical and it still is up to this day but the magic is now seen through your eyes. My mum had a tradition of not putting up the decorations until a week before Christmas and we weren’t allowed to put up the tree until Christmas eve itself. I understand now why she did it as she didn’t want us getting over excited I guess but at the time I never understood. All my friends had their trees up and we weren’t allowed until the day before. It did I suppose make putting the tree up all together a very exciting time. As a child we always had an artificial tree, in fact I’m pretty sure we had the same tree throughout my childhood, I remember us getting a new one when I was in my early teens. I loved the smell of an artificial tree. As daft as that sounds they always have a certain smell and to me that was the smell of Christmas. Year after year we used to get out the same decorations and I loved them. They all felt familiar, felt like Christmas had arrived. It made my heart leap with excitement.
On Christmas eve one year mum surprised us with duvets, I must have only been about 5 or 6 at the time but up until then we had traditional blankets on the bed, I remember having to pull them up, we’d have a sheet and them maybe two or so heavy blankets. But that particular year we went up to bed on Christmas eve and Mum had bought us both a duvet and duvet cover. Seems daft ow something so simple but I remember it so clearly.
We’d always leave out a mince-pie, a glass of milk and a carrot near the tree for Father Christmas and his reindeer, alongside our neatly folded pillow case then head on up to bed. I never tried to stay up late to see Father Christmas but I do remember the sleepless nights, I’d toss and turn all night waking up every so often to see if it was morning time. That night always felt so magical, like there was glitter in the air. There were never present put under the tree until that magical night. I’d sometimes get up to look out of the window to see if I could see the big man himself flying through the air. In my childhood there was no internet so we couldn’t track his journey like we do today!
Each Christmas morning Father Christmas would leave a stocking on mine and your Uncle’s door handle, which would have small wrapped gifts inside. We still have the same stockings today from mum (your grandma) There was always some smells and without a doubt I’d get marshmallows as well. Often there would be some chocolate which would have been eaten by breakfast time! So we’d get our stockings and head to Mum and Dad’s bedroom and sit with Mum (dad would hide under the pillow snoozing!) and open the stockings. Once that was done we’d have to get dressed before we were allowed to go downstairs. That rule used to frustrate me as it seemed to stall the proceedings but obviously that was the quickest we’d get dressed all year! Once we were dressed we’d head downstairs to see if he’d been. We were very lucky children as he’d always make a stop off at our house. I remember marvelling at the half eaten carrot and crumbs of mince-pie and the empty glass of milk. It felt very exciting to me that the big man himself had taken the time to eat the goodies we had left him, I could never quite believe he’d come into our house. I remember loving the sight of a pillow case full of presents just for me, I still do!
Your Uncle was always a fast present opener, he’d be tearing at the paper on gift number 3 whilst I was still carefully removing sellotape from the first present. I really like to take my time. We were allowed to open our present all morning long while mum popped in and out of the kitchen to cook the dinner. When we were much smaller we would go to church on Christmas morning with my Grandma, I remember coming back from church one year to a big box, it was my pram. I loved that pram, it was a miniature silver cross coach build one. I wonder what happened to it, I’ll have to ask my mum about that. I’d love to get you a pram boys but you’ve never been interested in playing with dolls, I wouldn’t hesitate if you did ask for one though! As we got a little older and Grandma wasn’t as mobile we used to stop by her house for a while instead of her coming to us.
Christmas dinner was usually served in the middle of the afternoon and was turkey with all the trimmings. There was always pigs in blankets or sausages, all the veggies, roast potatoes, gravy, bread sauce, apple & cranberry sauce. The table would be heaving. We’d have crackers and wear the hats – although my head is massive so the hat always tore (I’m afraid you may have inherited this from me – I wonder if they make big head crackers these days?!) After dinner we were allowed to have the special tree presents, these were always hidden in the tree. Usually just a small gift, some socks, or a magazine etc. I don’t know where this tradition came from but it was something our family did and still do today. Some years we’d watch the Queens speech but not always, in the evenings as if we hadn’t eaten enough already mum would always do a buffet with cheeses and party nibbles. I looked forward to this every year. Dad would always moan that it was over the top and unnecessary but being a bit like Victor Meldrew we’d come to expect it. We’d carry on enjoying ourselves as we always did. By the time that was over it was time to collapse in a heap and go off to bed, sad that Christmas day was over but thankful for a lovely family day together.
As a young child I thought all people’s Christmas days were the same. It was only as I got older that I realised everyone had their own traditions and some people of course didn’t celebrate Christmas at all. I however looking back am thankful for the effort my mum must have put into our Christmas each year. All the unseen things I now realise she must have done for us. I remember Christmas as a child fondly, I wish I could go back and be invisible just like Scrooge does and watch on silently in the corner. There are a few back and white video clips of Christmas day when I was very young but nothing like we have today. I hope that when you are all grown up boys that you look back and remember magical Christmas’s in our house. I hope that you look back and remember the love most of all. The love we have for you and each other at this special time of year.
Please always remember I love you unconditionally ….forever.
Love Mummy x
P.S Don’t grown up to quickly and always, ALWAYS believe!