Dear Thomas,

This is a letter for you. I don’t want to muddle you all up in my head. I want a separate letter to each of you. so my darling Thomas this is for you.

I don’t know how hard it is for you to be the eldest of 3. I was the eldest of two and as a girl that makes me different to you. I know that you are very clever and the things you come out with everyday astound me. I know you have a large capacity for remembering things, because you so easily recall events that my mind has lost. Sometimes I probably expect too much of you and for that I am sorry. I try everyday to remember that you are just 7. A very grown up 7 but 7 none the less.

When I ask you to help (when you are actually are listening!) then you do. I know you are eager to please me and I appreciate it very much. I know too that you are sensitive and caring, and can sense when the atmosphere isn’t quite right. I love you so very much my first born gorgeous boy. I promise I’ll try and spend some time just me and you in the months to come so that you get chance to properly have conversations and express yourself. I know at home life can sometimes be very busy with lots of attention on little Roo. It won’t always be like that though. He will grow too and turn into a mini you.

You are doing well at school and seem to be enjoying learning to play the cornet.

I’ve noticed sometimes you find it hard to maintain friendships as you tend to lead in things and don’t always listen to everyone else. You don’t have a great imagination and are happy to watch telly or play a game or read.

You very much love your brothers and sometimes it can be suffocation for them to have you kiss them, especially Too when he’s pushing you away. Maybe just a quick kiss is acceptable, you don’t have to hoover him up with love!

How did you grow up so quickly?

Sometimes you don’t always think before you do things and I hope that I can steer you away from that, as it comes across as selfish. I know that if you sat down and thought first about words or actions you wouldn’t have done it. It just makes me sad when you seem selfish, so it’s something we need to work on.

It broke my heart recently to hear you say that you don’t think people like you as you are odd. You’re not odd, the world needs people like you. We need people like you to teach us things, to be the clever ones. The caring ones. You’ll grow and learn that everyone is different and thats ok. Don’t ever think you don’t have any friends. You have me, I’m your vest friend and will always be here for you. As you find your way through life you can count on me if you need me.

Keep living, keep learning and keep loving.

Never forget I love you always and forever.

Love Mummy xxx

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