Dear Beautiful Boys

Dear boys,

There are now precious few days before the 2 of you become 3.

I need to tell you that I love you. I feel the need to hug you a little bit tighter. I need to hold on to you as you are. To pause time. To make sure you remember how it was before your brother arrives. How much you love each other now. How close you both are. How even though two are becoming three I’ll still have just the same amount of love for you and more than likely more.

My heart gets bigger everyday. Every time I hug you both. Every time I see you do something for the first time. Every time you make me proud. Every time you make me laugh. Your new brother will bring us more love. He’ll be the baby all of a sudden and I am well aware that in the moment he is born you two will suddenly seem very very old again.

dear boys

Flixster up until now you’ve been the baby. Despite you reminding me all the time that you’re not a baby because you don’t wear nappies anymore! You’ll always be my baby. All three of you are my babies and always will be. You seem so loving towards your brother already. Keep hugging the bump. You are always saying hello to him. Recently your favourite phrase is to say that when I’m busy you will help to sing to the baby. I hope you do. I hope the new baby doesn’t disrupt you too much. You make me proud everyday with the things you do and say. You’re so observant and remember so many things that I didn’t think you would from being little. I hope your brothers birth is as magical as yours.

When I look back I don’t know where the time has gone. 3 and a half already. School next year, I’m not ready to let go of you yet. Please don’t grow up too quickly my baby.

Big boy, my first-born, my original baby. I hope you find the transition to three ok. I almost hope in a gentle way you don’t really notice that there’s much different.

I will still be there for you. I’ll still read with you and help with your homework. I’ll still listen when ever you need me to lend an ear. I’ll still nod along even when I have no idea what you’re really talking about (as it was prob a dream or something that happened at school) I’ll still be there to kiss you goodnight (and every single one of your teddies that currently crowd your bed). You will be the oldest of three. I hope that doesn’t make you feel too responsible. Daddy and I will still always be here for you, you don’t have to do it all alone.

You’ll be first to do many things like go to high school, sit exams etc. But don’t let that worry you. As we always tell you as long as you always try your best it doesn’t matter what happens. Yes I’ll prob say you should lead by example but it’s because you are the eldest. I’ll need you help most of all with the baby. Of course you are still only little yourself, just 6 but I know you can help me. Help me get to know the baby. Help me to show him lots of love. You can help Flixster and show him how to be gentle around the baby. I want you to be the proud older brother.

dear boys

As we all look forward to a new chapter in our lives together never forget how much we both love you.

I love you more than all the stars in the sky.

Love Mummy xx

brothers

Dear Boys,

Sorry I haven’t written in a while and when I started writing to you I thought I’d have more to write about.  I guess life gets in the way. I’ll try and make more of an effort and make sure our little moments aren’t forgotten about with the passing of time.

So much has happened since I last wrote and so much is about to change.

To my beautiful first born big boy. This summer you turned 6 years old. Where has the time gone? It doesn’t seem two minutes since you were a new born and I was struggling with all those sleepless nights. The long lonely nights of feeds and comforting. Back in the early days it was hard but I had no experience of this before and it was all so new. How quickly 6 years has passed. You are now developing into a handsome, thoughtful, clever little boy who makes me proud everyday. You really like reading comics and playing computer games just like your daddy. You are most proud of you ‘Library’ and ‘office’ in your bedroom. For your birthday you asked for stationary, a microscope, a cricket set and some other littel things. You were happy with the carrot cake we bought at your request.

The stationary went down really well, you were so happy with all the bits and pieces that Grandma had bought for you, including the hole punch and paper clips.

You have now started year 2 in school and I think you’re getting on ok. It’s only been a week but so far so good. I know you dislike writing so will try and get away with minimum effort on that but it would be nice if you at least tried! Maths and reading are your absolute strong subjects. You are a little wizard with numbers, I hope you carry on learning and enjoying maths as much as you do now. All I ever ask is that you try your very best with everything.

To my beautiful baby boy (soon to be not such a baby) you are fast developing the cheekiest little personality. Your speech over the last few months has come on so quickly and I can now hold full conversations with you which I love doing. You are showing more of an interest in books too and love listening to a bedtime story (if you’re not distracted too much!) Your favourite thing is to be outside, you’re such an outdoor person. You love nothing better no matter what the weather than throwing on a pair of shoes and getting out. The first thing you tell me about nursery is if you’ve had chance to go out or not.

At nursery you’ve now moved up to the pre-school room and you are learning more and more each day. The lovely ladie have also noted how you’ve started to come out of your shell and speak a lot more. You are good at nursery which I’m pleased about as you’re not always an angel at home! I think you and your brother wind each other up quite a bit when you are together though so it’s not just you! After Christmas you’ll be starting at the new nursery which is attached to the school I hope you will attend. To prepare you we’ve visted and talked about it lots, so much so that you want to go now. I do hope you love it as much as your current nusery. Your current nursery i so much more homely and they’ve known you a long time. the new nursery is much more like a school but I guess I have to let you grow up sometime. You won’t be my baby forever. Although for now I treasure the times you get so tired on a Friday night when we watch family films that you fall asleep in my arms, like a baby. I love it.

 

We’ve started toilet training 5 days ago and so far so good. You seem to have mastered the wee’s and were doing ok with the poo’s until you got to nursery. Hopefully you’ll get it very soon and stop having the accidents. I think you just get so distraced when playing and forget! I’m proud of how you’ve done though so far.

All too soon boys our little world of just you two will change forever as you’re new brother arrives to join us. I’m worried that you’ll feel pushed out but I’ve tried to include you in everything. I hope you remember watching the bump grow as you grow older yourselves. At 6 and 3 you’re likely to not remember a whole lot about the pregnancy but I do want to involve you. This is the last little person we’ll be adding to the family and I guess he will take the place of ‘baby boy’. I hope we don’t upset the balance.

I’m planning another home birth and I sort of hope it coincides with you being able to be there when he’s born. I think it would be a fabulous thing for you to experience and I think you’d be ok with it all and take it in your stride. I thik it would help you understand that the baby just didn’t turn up out of the blue but arrived into this world surounded by love.

Just becasue we’re having another baby doesn’t mean I will love you any less, in fact I hope my love will just keep on growing like it always has with you both. My heart can accomodate one more little guy.

I can’t wait for you to all grow up together, I hope you all stay close. By close I mean close at heart, no matter where life takes you. No matter what journey you follow or how far you travel always know you have each otherNever forget I love you with all my heart forever and always.

Mummy xxx

Dear Boys,

Everything Changes and the world keeps on moving…..

This letter is mainly aimed at you my dear sweet boy, on the eve of your 4th birthday on this wonderful world. So much has come before this day, so many mountains you’ve had to climb and the fun we’ve had sliding down the other side to face the next challenge together. In some ways the last 4 years have been so long but in many and most other ways they have been so very, very short. I cannot remember a time without you in the world, yet just 4 years ago I had not set eyes upon your face yet or smelled the sweetness of your breath of the familiar softness of your touch and the fluffiness of your young hair. I had carried you inside me for 10 months yet didn’t even know you.

Here we are 4 years later and you’ve changed our world for the better. I hope that tomorrow and everyday you realise how loved you are not just by myself and daddy but by the extended wider family too. I hope you realise how your touch the lives of those that you meet with your funny comments and sweet little ways. Each day I can’t wait for you to wake up so you will give me a hug and a kiss so I can tell you how much I love you. The next few months will see changes in all aspects of your little life and I hope that you can easily adapt to everything. I will be by your side each step of the way and together I will guide you through. Next month you start school. Having only just turned 4 you’re still my baby yet are expected to be in school 5 days a week. I hope that you face the challenge head on and settle in quickly, making new friends along the way. I am trying so very hard to keep mentioning how exciting school will be for you but I’m not sure you’ve grasped the concept that it’s everyday for many years to come. I’ll miss you on Mondays and Tuesdays (my days off), I’ll miss your company and how funny you are. I’ll miss how sweet you are with Flixster and how entertained you can keep him while I try to get on with a few housework jobs. He’ll miss you too. His face lights up when you enter the room.

IMG_0356

As we prepare to leave nursery behind and move on to pastures new I hope that your enthusiasts for new things and excitement don’t get lost in a classroom full of your peers. I will however make sure that our weekends really do count; we’ll have family time and do lovely things together even if it’s just picnics in the park and feeding the ducks. I’m looking forward to seeing how you learn and grow at school and will be as involved as I can with your school journey.

IMG_0262

There is another change on the horizon for us as a family too. We are going to be moving house in the next few months. When I explained it to you I wrongly assumed you would understand what that meant but from our conversations since, you were clearly worried about it and didn’t grasp that when you move house you take all your belongings and furniture with you to the next house. One morning you said to me first thing that you didn’t want to move because you loved playing with the ‘Toot toot’ drivers toys with your brother. I felt sad that you’d been worried about it and we had a proper chat about what moving house means. I explained that when you move house you take all your belongings with you as well as the furniture. At random times you now keep questioning me on things that we will be taking.

‘Even Mummy will we take the films?’

‘Yes, we’ll defiantly take the films’

‘Even Mummy will we take the bubble machine, because I really like it?’

‘Oh yes I’ll make sure I pack that’

‘Even Mummy will we take the doors, because I like them?’

‘Errrmm………’

IMG_0284
I’m excited about moving too because the home we are moving too (providing all goes through ok, touch wood, fingers crossed, please universe!) will give you and Flixster much more room to spread out, play and be silly together. The house has everything we ever wanted on our wish list and I can already see that we’ll be very happy there. I can’t wait to make it our home and make many many years of happy memories for you both to carry with you through life once you’ve grown and flown the nest.

As I put you to bed tonight you told me that you’d decided what you’d like for your birthday, I enthusiastically listened, hoping it was something we could source this evening…….you said a parachute. So I’m sorry to let you down and not provide a parachute but you will be getting lots of lovely presents and so much love from us both.

IMG_0364

So’ Happy Birthday’ little man, another year older, another year together, another year of memories have been made.

Please always remember I love you both unconditionally….forever.
Mummy xxxxxx

Dear Boys,

Before you were born or even thought about your daddy and I loved each other.
We met at work as we both worked within the same department. Doing completely different jobs but under the same roof. We were friends for many years and would go out on nights out with work together. I always thought your daddy was funny and sweet but never thought of us as a couple together. It was many years later that he finally plucked up the courage to ask me on a date. I’ll be forever grateful that he did and that our love story started right there and then. You are both a part of that too, our love story didn’t end with you, it’s still going strong and growing bigger and bigger digging its roots deeper into the soil of life. We both love you so much and are proud everyday that we created such special little people who are growing so quickly before our eyes and continuing to amaze us everyday.
Boy this week I went to the first meeting at your school. I wasn’t sure if it was something you could attend as it started at 6pm. There were a few other children there but I knew that you’d be getting tired right around that time and so I thought it best you stayed at home. I do wish though I could have let you see your new classroom. The evening started with an introduction from the head teacher. She seems nice and part of the reason I chose the school for you. It has a lovely family feel and I hope that you’ll fit right in there. We were given lots of hand outs about various aspects of school life. They explained the school day and what you’d be doing when. Lunch is at 11:30 and we can choose the menu together from home in advance. I think you’ll love the dinners they sound really nice and the catering staff said it was all cooked on site which is good. In the morning there’s a little space for some worship which is nice and the reason I waned you to go to a church school. Even if you decide religion isn’t for you that’s ok, just use that time to reflect and be grateful for the day ahead. After lunch you get some tooth brushing time, this I thought was a good practise and I was also glad to read about hand washing before lunch. Is it too much to send you with some alcohol gel? I think my healthcare background has passed on the importance of good hand hygiene to you! Even Flixster knows the drill when it comes to alcohol gel before eating!
There were uniforms there to view too and an order form. I need to get on with ordering them for you, it just seems like a big thing to do! Your uniform will be grey trousers, a white polo shirt which can be monogrammed but it’s not compulsory, along side a red school jumper with the school logo on it. Theres also a PE kit to buy, book bag and kit bag. It’s all so exciting yet scary!
I’ve arranged for your teacher to come and meet you in a few weeks at home. I couldn’t find out if your teacher was male or female as the reception classes have one of each. You asked me to find out two things at the meeting, what sex your teacher is or in your words “Is the person going to be a man or a girl?” and what your password will be for the computer, hopefully when they visit it will all become clear. I did ask though if you were to have a computer password and apparently not until you move up the school so that should put your mind at rest. I had a look at your classroom and it seems like a lovely environment for you to grow in. That was the part I wish you’d seen. When I’d finished I came home to find you waiting for me, but you’d fallen asleep on the sofa. It’s the first time you’ve ever done that in your life and it reminded me just how little you still are. Being an August baby I worry about how you will keep up with your peers.

IMG_4653

Flixster you just get cheekier and funnier everyday at the moment. You’ve taken your very first steps. Its slow and steady progress at the moment but you’ll get there. I think it’s almost the same date as your brother did. He was walking around 13 months just like you are. On Tuesday you took 3 consecutive steps at the breastfeeding group we go to. I wish I’d caught it on camera. I’ll try to catch you this weekend if I can so that you will be able to watch it back when you’re older. I love all the new things your learning. Each morning I get a hug from you and I love it.
I love kissing your chubby little cheeks.
However I don’t love you waking up between 3 & 4am each day. Please please please can you sleep just a little bit longer in the morning. We always bring you up into our room when you wake and I lie down to feed you but that’s it then, you’re up and about and raring to go, ready to menace us.
You know your own mind and you are very strong-willed, you know what you want even if you’re not supposed to have it! I love watching you grow up so fast before my very eyes. You adore the boy and the relationship between you both is fantastic to watch. I hope you will be close together for many many years and support each other in all you do.

IMG_4652
The boy told me the other day that he loves having a brother, my heart melted when he said it. He’s such a sweet caring boy. You both are.
I’m hoping to make it a summer to remember but please forgive me if we don’t get it quite right. I want you to enjoy your last summer before school as once you starts I’ll miss my days with you so much. So lets enjoy the long summer days and try to get out and about as much as possible.
Please always remember I love you both unconditionally….forever.
Mummy

Dear Boys,

We’ve had some pretty busy weeks lately. With Grandma on Mondays, breastfeeding group Tuesdays and me back at work for my 3 full days Wednesday to Friday the weeks are passing by in a blur. I can’t seem to find time to get the house straight let alone write a blog post. I have however promised myself to find more time from now onwards. I don’t want to miss any special moments or firsts in your life.

Flixster I’m going to start with you as we’ve reached a very special milestone in your life. One year ago you came to join us to start your life here on earth. I remember it like it was yesterday and still love to relive your birth story. What an amazingly special time it was.

IMG_3561

This was you just moments after you joined us as I sat back to admire your face and start our journey together.

This is you just last night in the bath, gosh how you’ve grown. We’ve had our ups and downs. Mostly up’s but I do wish you’d starting liking your sleep more! Mummy and daddy are pretty exhausted now!

IMG_0172

You are defiantly a happy little man, always smiling (unless we’re trying to get you down for a nap, then its screaming!) but on the whole a contented little man. You’re in nursery 3 days a week now and I think you are getting more used to it. I try to take a peek through the window before I enter the room to pick you up and 9 times out of 10 you are ok. I know the ladies look after you there and they have told me you’re ace at giving hugs. I attribute that to all the carrying you’ve had.

IMG_3384I love how you’re face lights up with excitement when the boy enters the room, he is your absolute favourite person. In the mornings when he comes to join us in bed I sometimes think you’d explode with happiness the amount of screaming and dancing you do when you first see him.

IMG_3661

On your birthday itself we didn’t really celebrate as we’d all been so poorly with a tummy bug, so we postponed the celebration to coincide with our wedding anniversary. Of course we let you have your presents’ on your birthday though as the boy was dying to play with them. For months he’s wanted to get you (really him too) some Toot toot toys, and form the moment he knew we’d bought them he kept asking if he could have a ‘little’ try!

IMG_3557

Now that you’ve had your birthday presents off the family too you’ve got quite a collection, I’m not sure where we are going to keep it all!

Boy – we’ve just had a big milestone in your life too. We know now which school you’ll be attending in September. I’m so grateful that we were offered a place at our number 1 choice of school. I am extra grateful given that I know if lots of mummies who were disappointed with their allocated placements. It’s our nearest school too which is only a few minutes walk away. The thought of school for you fills me with both excitement and dread. I’m excited that another chapter of your life will start, but you’re just so young still. You will have just turned 4 when you start. I hope you cope ok with 5 days a week, the structured learning environment and the large mix of people.

IMG_3393

I’m trying my best to prepare you for whats to come, I mention school a lot and talk about where you will be going in September. We have talked about uniforms and classrooms and having lunch there too. The other day I noticed that they publish the plans for the term ahead on the website so I’ll have a look and see if there’s anything we can do to prepare. I’m not asking you to be top of the class or super clever, I just want you to try your best in everything that you do. To be kind to everyone else and to listen carefully in class. I hope that for the first term at least we won’t have to let you go to after school club as that’s a bus ride away but I’m not sure yet how we are going to sort out school pick-ups. It’s just another hurdle that we will learn to cross.

IMG_3532

You have been really loving with Flixster from the start but I can see now that he’s more mobile he just wants to do everything you’re doing. I know this is annoying you at times but I’m trying to teach you to share with him. I know he must irritate you when you’re trying to do something but honestly he just loves you so much that he follows you everywhere. He’ll soon be talking like you and I hope that you will be best friends together. OF course I know it won’t be plain sailing all the time but as long as you’re there for each other when it matters that’s all I ask.

I hope that despite our busy lives we can continue to have adventures together and make some fabulous memories this summer, it’s already shaping up to be a good year. Being a family of 4 is fantastic and I look forward to our up coming adventures.

IMG_3687

Please always remember I love you unconditionally ……..forever.

Love Mummy x

Dear Boys,

I’ve not written to you in a while. I just didn’t want to just repeat the same thing over again. I wanted to make sure I had something to tell you.

Boy – You’ve said some adorable things recently. Its moments when I hear you say loving things to me, Flixster or Daddy that make my heart melt. Yesterday when I was brushing my hair you insisted on using the brush too saying you didn’t want to look like a ‘Squarecrow’. It was just beautiful. You are so loving with Flixster too, always trying to cheer him up if he’s sad, or play peek a boo to keep him entertained.

IMG_2363

Sometimes though I do wonder if you can’t exhale without speaking or making a noise, even when you’re eating you have to make a humming noise. I was chatting to you the other day and politely asking you to keep the noise down in the back of the car as I was trying to concentrate and you came back with ‘Sorry Mummy I can’t turn the volume down on my voice as I’ve got a big massive chicken inside me and he keeps making me loud!’ I laughed so much I nearly cried! I don’t know where you get these things from!

While we were on my bed changing Flixsters nappy the other day I was gentle playing with his feet. You came over took one sniff and exclaimed ‘Pooooooooooweeeeey, his feet smell of Halloween things and Halloween dresses’. That was a weird one, since we are now in March!

IMG_2258

We’re still waiting to find out which school you’ll be going to, we’ll find out in April. I dearly hope you’ll be ready for school being an August baby. It’s going to be a tough transition for you I think as you don’t deal well with change but I will prepare you as best I can for it. I can’t imagine you in a school uniform but the time will soon be upon us and you’ll be my baby no longer. I never thought I’d be a crying mum at the gates but the closer we get the more I’m getting emotional about it.

Flixster – Time is passing so quickly, a little too quickly. This week you’re turning 11 months, not far from your first birthday already. This last week you’ve tried so hard to learn to crawl and to some extend you’ve managed it now. It’s a mix of wiggling, pushing and rolling, but you’re getting where you want to be, and thats usually where I don’t want you to be! Yesterday on the way to Grandma’s I had to stop the car quickly after your brother exclaimed that he thought you were eating paper, then he shouted no mummy its LEGO! Indeed you were eating two pieces of lego, goodness knows if they’d been in your mouth since we left the house or if you’d concealed them in your hand then later popped them in your mouth. I really do have to keep an extra eye out for you now you’re on the move.

IMG_1614

You’ve started nursery but I don’t think you like it one bit, and all I can say is sorry. Sorry you have to go there, sorry we have to leave you. Sorry you don’t understand why we’re not there for you but one day I will explain to you why. I know the people there look after you and your brother is very happy there. It’s a lovely place and I know you’re safe but being such an attached baby I think you’re finding the transition hard. I can’t not work though, I have to go back to work to earn money to keep us in our home. I just hope you settle in soon. I’m sending in breastmilk for you to have so hopefully that’s bringing you comfort during the day. I love you so much and it’s hard to see you upset there, but we don’t have any other option right now.

IMG_1579

Together you are playing, although boy I’m not sure you’re too keen on how mobile and interested Flixster is in all your toys. I’m trying to explain to you that Flixster isn’t actually snatching on purpose, he just wants to see what your doing. His face still lights up when you enter the room, I think you’re going to be good friends.

IMG_1498

Please always remember I love you unconditionally ….forever.

Love Mummy x

 

 

 

Dear Boys,
I’ve not written you a letter in a while, but I have been updating our adventures on the blog. Christmas has come and sadly gone. It was my best Christmas ever, seeing the excitement and surprise in your eyes boys was magical. Christmas Day at home was lovely and Boxing Day at my mum’s was a great way to spend family time together. Moving forward we just went to bed on New Year’s Eve, I couldn’t bear the thought of having to get up on New Year’s Day after only a few hours sleep! At midnight I was woken by the fireworks so rolled over to wish daddy a happy new year. The year started on a high with us all spending some time together as thankfully daddy had time off work.

IMG_1204
Boy you have been growing so fast again, I’ve just submitted your school application. I can’t believe that you’re going to school in September, where has the time gone? I hope we get our first choice but we won’t find out until April now, so all we can do is wait. You’ve made me laugh so much recently with the things you say. The other day you were playing kitchens and offered to make me a smoothie, I gratefully accepted so you went off to make it. Bringing it back to me I asked you what was in it. After doing your thinking face (rolling eyes to ceiling) you replied “Raisins, macaroni and errrr…….sausages!” I’m sure that would have been lovely….not!
I nearly cried laughing listening to you in the car the other day too, we’d had fun counting and as we got to 100, you said “100 uh that’s stinks!” that wasn’t even the funny part,although I did laugh a little, following your lead I said “Oh yes 100 really stinks doesn’t he”. A few minutes later you started talking to yourself quietly in the back of the car this is what I heard, with all the parts spoken by you:
– Awwww what the matter 100?
Somebody said I stink
Who said you stink?
*whisper* Mummy said I stinked
(Shouting at me) Mummy that’s not nice, 100 is sad
I was nearly crying laughing at you telling me off for saying 100 stinks, you had started it all! You’ve also started being a bit cheeky and calling me a “silly dumpt” when something’s not going your way. I’ve had to tell you not to call me a dumpt, whilst trying not to laugh. I don’t know where you got that one from!
This last week you’ve had tonsillitis again, when you speak you sound like you’ve got cotton wool stuffed in your mouth. It’s not been too bad when you’ve had some pain relief but my heart hurts in the night when you wake up crying and I can’t get to you because of Flixster. Daddy always goes to administer cuddles and more pain relief but it hurts me when I just want to scoop you up and cuddle you all night long. I think we’re over the worst of it now and back on the up, hopefully you can get back to nursery tomorrow and a bit more of a routine rather than spending the day in pjs stuck in the house.

IMG_1177

 
Flixster you’ve just turned 9 months and I love you so much but you continue to frustrate me with your sleeping or lack of it! All evening we are up and down stairs to you unable to have any time to get anything done. I noticed this week your first tooth popping through. It’s a top one which I didn’t expect first and it looks like a big one so I think you may have rabbit teeth like mine! I’m desperately hoping things improve with your sleep soon, I’m not sure how much more I can take.
I’ve started back at work this week so you’ve had your first full day in nursery. I tried not to think of you most of the day so that I didn’t get upset. I think it will have been quite a shock for you as you’re such an attached baby, but we have no choice, I have to go back to work. I picked you up and the ladies said you’d been unsettled at times but at other times you were ok. I hope you settle in soon, for now it’s only 1 day a week so at least I still have you for 6 days. Your brother seems happy there so I hope in time you will be too. Even when I go back to my usual hours in April you’ll only be there for 3 days a week so I’ll still see you for 4 days. I know you’re safe there so that settles my mind.

IMG_1166
Looking forward through the year, we’re hoping to have many great family times. We already have a short break planned to Center Parks in March with Grandma and Grandad, it’s the one we had to rearrange after we found out you were due in our lives so it’s been a long time coming since we booked it a couple of years ago! I hope we have some good weather again this year like last so we can spend some great times on the beach near Grandmas house in Lytham. I see many a picnic to be had this year. With you starting school boy we won’t be able to have any autumn breaks this year so maybe we can for something in over the summer if finances allow.

I’m looking forward to another year watching you grow together boys and making lots of lovely family memories.

Please always remember I love you unconditionally ….forever.

Love Mummy x

Dear Boys,
I’m so excited about Christmas, I really am. Flixster it’s your first Christmas on earth and boy it’s your 4th. This year will be even more magical because you’re really talkative now and understanding of things. I’ve started to talk about Christmas in front of you now. I didn’t want to mention it to early but I do you want to have a great buildup. We have beautiful wooden countdown sign up in their lounge already made by Grandad. I’m hoping as well as getting a good countdown you’re also practising your numbers.

FullSizeRender

I’ve just ordered and picked up new artificial slimline Christmas tree and can’t wait to get it up. We normally wait till after daddy’s birthday but I have a feeling it will be earlier this year. You helped me decorate it last year and I hope we can do the same again this year. I’m really looking forward to seeing your face when you find out that there’s an elf coming to live with us in December. I also can’t wait for a trip to see Father Christmas on Christmas eve with daddy. Although it’s not looking good since you curled up in a ball on the floor the other day in the garden centre when Father Christmas came to give you a badge. Once again this week you have come out with some cracking lines. You’ve started to try to tell jokes, which although not particularly funny make me laugh because of the way you tell them, and the way you laugh at the end. My favourite two were this week on the way home from nursery:
Why did eggs have fun?
Because they love the shop!

Why did the parents love the shop?
Because it ‘selled’ food!
I was also very proud of you this week on the way home from nursery when I asked about the poppy that was sellotaped onto your T-shirt you told me that you’d done a ‘silenced’ to think about the soldiers, I could’ve cried. I was very proud that you’d remembered and understood as best you can being 3.
I also chuckled this week when you are asking me for a biscuit you asked for a rich teabag.
I have looked at another school this week for you and I just don’t know to do for the best. It’s such a big decision that may affect the rest of your life I just want to make sure that I get it right. We still have a couple of months to get the application form in, so more thinking time.
Flixster your learning to sit up for longer and longer each day, you were pretty wobbly at the start of last week but you stayed upright for a couple of minutes today. You still prefer standing up given the opportunity but I can’t hold you all the time! We’ve started a few finger food this week you seem to be getting on really well with them. I’ve spoon-fed you a couple of things as well and you really loved them.

IMG_5018

Pasta face!

You’re such a smiley baby and I love carrying you around in the sling but you are getting a bit heavier now. I do wish though that sometimes you’d just nap in your cot rather than in my arms or in the sling. I know you’ll grow soon enough and won’t be able to nap on me anymore so I try to treasure these times with you rather than keep thinking of all the things I need to get done. As I sit here staring at your beautiful peaceful sleepy face I wonder what you are dreaming about and hope I’m doing the best for you. It’s strange to think you may one day read this when you’re older and by then you’ll defiantly be too big to nap on me. I hope by then you’ll be sleeping better at night too, because right now I’m shattered! Getting up every hour or two to feed is very draining, and being up for the day at 4:45am isn’t going down well with daddy or I. It’s a good job you always have a smile on your face in the mornings! You still adore your brother and I love how your eyes light up each time he enters a room. I hope you’ll be great friends. I expect there to be squabbles over the years but as long as you are there for each other when you need to be that’s all I ask.
Please always remember I love you unconditionally ….forever.
Love Mummy x

 

IMG_4992

Dear Boys,

Let me start by telling you how much I love you. I really really love you both so much.
I’ve read a blog this week written by someone that I used to work with who has had a terminal illness and very sadly passed away last week. She gave me a new enthusiasm for life and a huge reminder to appreciate every single day as some people don’t get a tomorrow and we are lucky when we wake up each new day.
I will try even harder now to see the beauty of the world each day and the good in everything.

If there ever comes a time boys where I’m no longer physically here to walk by your side then please know I’ll always be with you wherever you go because I’ll be in your heart. I just want to make sure you know how much both I and Daddy love you.

Once again the days are flying by, another weekend has come and gone in the blink of an eye. I’m trying to remember to write down all the funny things you say boy. As your language is improving day by day you are getting things wrong less often so I’m trying to preserve those beautiful everyday mishaps.
You made everyone laugh this week when we went for breakfast with Grandma & Grandad, you sat down and as the waitress gave out the menus you took yours opened it up and exclaimed loudly “Lets look at the menus guy’s”. It was so sweet and funny, I wish I could bottle up moments like that.
DSC_0318_2

DSC_0329

You also came out with a great line this week whilst looking in the cereal cupboard “Oh no mummy, there’s no gruffanola” I can only presume that you meant granola and not a special type of cereal made from Gruffalo!
Yesterday on the way home from nursery I was asking you about the poppy you had made that was taped onto your t-shirt you told me that you’d had a “Silenceds at nursery to think about the soldiers” I was so proud you’d listened and taken on board what you were doing.
We’ve been to see another school this week which I really liked, I’m hoping we can put it down on the application form as first choice for you as I think you’d really like it there. There was a lot of outside space which I know you really enjoy. I will have my fingers tightly crossed that you get in, such a worrying time.
Flixster you’ve developed a proper little giggle, I love how much your eyes light up when your brother enters the room. You absolutely adore him.
blog

I went out to a matinee performance of a Barnum on Saturday and left you both with Daddy for the first time. I’m lucky that your Uncle (my brother) works in theatre so I get to see lots of shows. I enjoyed the time to myself and especially a solo coffee and mince pie, but did miss you boys.

IMG_4732
blog 1

I really enjoyed the show and I was out for quite a few hours and when I came back you were laughing your head off at Daddy and the boy throwing pillows at each other. I was so pleased that you’d all been ok together because I know how hard it can be looking after you both together single handedly!

I’m really looking forward to the build up to Christmas, I have lots of plans in the pipeline, but I’m remembering to live and love in the moment so that if we don’t get a tomorrow we’ve lived for today!

Please always remember I love you both unconditionally….forever.
Love Mummy xx

IMG_4782 IMG_4775

Dear Boys,
Once again life is flying by, I don’t know where the time is going. Days are turning into weeks and months far to quickly! We’ve had some great times over the last few weeks though.
Boy you are once again learning things at an amazing rate, your speech astounds me everyday although I have to be so careful what I say around you now, you seem to have hearing like a bat. Especially when it comes to mention of food or drink. I love that you enjoy babychinnos anytime we are out having coffee. You can easily spot a coffee shop a mile away, which is good for us! You are currently sat playing the CBeebies games on daddies computer as I type this.

IMG_4685 IMG_4686

You are particularly enjoying the game where you have to join three or more like objects in a row. It was only a few weeks ago that you couldn’t do it by yourself and now you are powering through the levels all by yourself. I love watching how pleased you are with yourself each time you complete a level.

We went to Alton Towers again last weekend and you loved spending the day in Cbeebies land. You are the perfect age to enjoy all the rides and attractions. Thankfully for us it was a lot quieter than other times we have visited so you were able to go on all the rides with minimal queue times. I love watching you confidently deciding what you’d like to ride.

IMG_4250

 

IMG_4335

I think your favourite ride this time was Postman Pat, you dragged daddy and I on it a fair few times!

IMG_4291

I stupidly forgot to bring you a jumper or coat so ended up buying a Cbeebies hoodie for you to wear. I hope that it’s big enough for you to get some decent use out of it as there weren’t many sizes left in the designs you liked.

IMG_4338

 

We didn’t take our own food on that occasion as we normally do and it was nice to see that the lunch options in Cbeebies were sandwiches and picnic style food rather than fast food. With the annual pass holder discount it didn’t work out to expensive either.

We also enjoyed a day out at Blackpool zoo recently which went down well with you. The last time we visited there you were only 30 months old so you don’t remember it. We’ve bought annual passes for the zoo so I look forward to going back a few times over the next year. The zoo was a great day out as it’s not too large which makes it little leg friendly!

IMG_4183 IMG_4155 IMG_4091 IMG_4071

I’m grateful for the particularly mild autumn this year as its meant lots of time to play outside still which you love. Your face lights up if we are able to go to one of the local play grounds to let of some steam and have a good run around. You’ve even ticked off another first…getting your face painted. I love that as there were no pictures for ideas you asked to be a rainbow.

IMG_4395

Halloween has been great, I’ve never really taken part in it before as it’s not really been my thing but I entered into the spirit of it (excuse the pun!) for the first time this year by getting some decorations. Daddy took you out to do some trick or treating at the local decorated houses as well which you loved. I’m quite sad it’s over now but have packed away the decorations for next year! My face printing skills aren’t quite as professional as the man who painted your rainbow!

DSC_0232 IMG_4595

Flixster you too have been changing and growing so much. We hit the 6 month mark recently but as you’re still not able to sit unaided I’ve not thrown myself into any complimentary feeding yet. You’re still breastfeeding as much as ever so as long as that continues I won’t be pushing the food. You’ve had a few bits of finger food here and there which you seem to enjoy but I’m not going to make it a regular everyday thing until your able to sit fully unaided. We want to do baby-led weaning rather than mushing anything so there’s no rush. You get all you need from my milk in the mean time.

You finally rolled over completely all by yourself this past weekend so I know sitting will come soon. Unfortunately I think you are beginning to go through the “only mummy will do” phase, as you are even unhappy in grandmas arms. I know it will pass and as you spend most of your life attached to me in a sling then there’s no problem.

After the zoo visit we made our annual trip to see the Blackpool lights. Ever since your brother was born each year we go and have a walk along the static displays at the Bispham end of the lights. We always park up and have fish and chips first then we have a wander down the lights and back, it’s just our family thing now which I love doing. This year as we’d been to the zoo with grandma and grandad we invited them to come along too. It was your first time at the lights Flixster and you slept all the way through it only waking for a few minutes at the end, oh well maybe next year!

IMG_4215

 

I’m so proud of how you are now interacting together. Flixster you are laughing at anything your big brother does, especially if it’s a little bit naughty which is encouraging him even more. I can’t help but laugh sometimes! I hope growing up you stay close as brothers and are always good friends to each other!

IMG_4572

Please always remember I love you both unconditionally….forever.
Love Mummy xx