Today was the first time I’ve looked at my blog in a long time. I miss it.
I was asking myself how it got to such a long time gap.
The answer is easy. Life got in the way. Life has been tricky lately. I don’t want to say hard because that’s not the right word.
I’m grateful to have a privileged life compared to so many people.There’s a warm roof over my head, warm clothes, a warm bed. I have food on the table and for all those things I am grateful. It’s just been tough. I feel like I’m spinning plates and instead of keeping them spinning, when I’m not looking they are crashing and falling. Then when I replace them a different one falls.
With three children and both working full time it only takes one thing to drop and thats it, life is tricky.
In the last few weeks there have been hospital stays for Roo, illnesses, migraines, a broken wrist to name a few. I feel so guilty when I can’t go to work. It’s been made worse because I’m in a new job and I’m beginning to think they will assume I’m lazy and can’t cope with everything. Why is mum guilt so bad?
I’m trying really hard to sort everyone out and get them all to the right place at the right time so we can go to work. My husband is fantastic and helps lots but I still feel like its all my responsibility. I know if he reads this he’ll say its not at all but it’s just the way I feel. Sometimes I wonder if life would be easier if I gave up my job. But I love my job, I really love it and don’t want to leave. I’ve worked hard all my life to get where I am at work. I feel like I’d be failing if I just walked away.
I would just like life to give us a little break for a while. I’d like normal back. A nice normal life where I can drop the babies off to school and nursery and go to work and do a great job. So please life if you’re listening give me a little bit of normal.