I love a good list and inspired by #TheList blog link up this is my weekly list:
Blessings & Highlights
Being able to finally put up the Elf door and let the Christmas advent countdown begin
Going late night Christmas shopping with my mum – it’s our yearly tradition for us and it was nice to be child free to look at all the fabulous decorated Christmas shops
Attending a Christmas party to celebrate another year of the breastfeeding peer support service in my area
Finding and buying matching Christmas PJ’s for the boys for Christmas eve to put in the Christmas eve box
Challenges
Having a poorly baby who just wants mummy cuddles all the time – meaning I’m not getting much done
Surviving Monday with Daddy back at work – It was the first day I’d been alone with both children in 11 days
Getting the house back to normal after our holiday – the washing mountain is now smaller
Aims for next week
Get the Christmas decorations and tree out of the loft and up in the house
Make a donation to the local food bank
Get the Christmas cards written and sent before it gets too late
Make a list of all friends and family to buy for and make sure we haven’t missed anyone
My second son was born en caul at home in water at 8:38am on Sunday 13th April, this is the story of his amazing home birth.
I had planned a home birth for my first son but unfortunately things had not gone to plan and I ended up with a blue light transfer at 10cm and pushing due to meconium in his waters. It was the most horrendous ride of my life and subsequently I ended up with a horrible memory of a bad birth experience. I also had a retained placenta, which I always wonder if it was a result of having gone from the peaceful environment of home to the adrenaline fuelled ride to hospital where I was threatened with all sorts of intervention and eventually they tried ventouse. I look back and wonder if my body went into shock and decided to hold onto the placenta, so after a trip to theatre post baby arriving I was separated from my husband and left on a ward in the middle of the night to fend for myself, which is where I stayed for 2 nights.
Home Birth the Difference
This time I knew things had to be different, despite thinking I was prepared last time I hadn’t factored in not knowing the two midwives who attended my birth and them not knowing me. We were very lucky and blessed that when we decided to try for baby number 2 we conceived the first month of trying. It came as a shock to us both but I knew before the tests were even dry that I wanted to make contact with One to One midwives. I had read so many positive things about the service and had attended an open day information session they had held. I am extremely lucky that I live in an area that is covered by the One to One service. I referred myself to them and within a few days I had been contacted by our allocated midwife who phoned me to arrange a booking in appointment.
All my appointments were held at home where I never felt rushed and had time to discuss all my concerns and worries. At my first appointment I chatted with my midwife about my previous birth and how much I was still angry thinking about it and the way I had been treated. She was amazing and took the time to listen and reassure me that things could be different. Over the course of the pregnancy I saw the same midwife at each appointment and was able to form a bond with her so that she knew all my wishes and hopes for the birth.
As the weeks flew by and we drew closer to my guess date, I talked through with my midwife all the options I’d have if things during the birth didn’t go the way I hoped, I really wanted a home birth. I had questions about what would happen if there was meconium in the waters again and if I had a retained placenta. We chatted through all the scenarios so that I knew exactly what would be available to me should that happen. I trusted that my midwife had given me all the pros and cons of each option and if the time came where I had to make a quick decision I knew I would be making an informed choice for myself and baby.
With my first pregnancy I had not known which day or cycle I had conceived so had to trust that the scan date was accurate, I happened to go into labour naturally 8 days after the EDD with my first son. This time around I knew exactly the day I ovulated so was able to work out my own guess date. I was so sure I would go over that date again this time around that I made plans for roughly a week following it to keep myself busy while I waited for baby to decide when to be born.
The day before my ‘guess date’ I woke at 4:30am in the morning with what I thought were trapped wind pains, so I went to the toilet to see if I could make myself more comfortable. I returned to bed only to become uncomfortable again just a few minutes later, so I got out of bed to stand up again. This happened a few more times before my husband woke up to see if I was ok. Up to that point I hadn’t even thought that it could be labour, I began to realise though that the pains were coming and going and the only way I could get comfy with them was by standing up and rocking my hips. I think my husband realised before I did that, in fact this could be labour. We began timing the pains and they were roughly every 3 minutes at this point. Not wanting to bother anyone too early I waited until about 5:30 to ring my midwife. As I dialed the number my call was redirected to another midwife who I’d previously met at one of my scans. My midwife had told me that the other midwife would probably be my second midwife at the birth so I felt happy that we had already met her. She explained to me that my midwife had been off call for the night but was back on later in the morning. She listened in while I had a contraction and as I wasn’t able to chat during it she told us to start filling up the pool and that she was on her way. My husband immediately rang my mum to come and pick up the boy as she was going to look after him whilst I was birthing because we were nervous that I’d end up in hospital and if that was the case then we wanted to be fully prepared to leave at a minutes notice.
We moved downstairs and the second midwife arrived about 20 minutes later and we had already started to fill the pool. She looked at my notes and chatted with me, she told me that she had rung my named home birth midwife too and she was on her way. She asked if I’d like to be examined but I declined as I had already discussed with my own midwife not wanting any internal examinations unless I asked for them. At around 6:30am my mum arrived to collect the boy shortly followed by my usual midwife. By now I had put on the tens machine to try to help with the pains and was rocking through each contractions on all fours propped up on the birth ball. The atmosphere was peaceful, I had my labour playlist on random playing in the room and I got through each contraction by zoning out and rocking on the ball. I could hear myself gently moan through each contraction as it helped me to remember to breathe slowly and steadily. I remember my midwife asking me if I wanted to get into the pool but I’m not sure what time it was by then. I took the tens machine off and got into the pool, which by now was ready. The warmth of the water was blissful, I was able to move around freely through each contraction getting into a position that suited me each time. My midwife commented that my purple line was by now quite long and she joked that she thought the baby would be here in time for her to get a McDonalds breakfast. I wasn’t convinced! I had been in labour for 24 hours with my first son, so naturally assumed that although this time may be shorter, as it had only been a couple of hours so far, I thought I was in for the long haul still. I felt down myself at that point to see if I could feel anything, but there was absolutely nothing there.
20 Minutes before he was born
Not long after that I felt that the baby had moved down considerably and my midwife also commented that she thought she saw him drop down a lot lower. Sure enough just a couple of contractions later I knew I had started to push, I couldn’t help myself, my body wanted to do it so I just went with it. It was at that point I recognised the signs, I felt suddenly quite sick, like I needed to open my throat up, I could also hear myself change vocally from a gentle moan to what I can only describe as a “mooing” noise! At that point although I had my eyes shut and my head down on the side of the pool I knew the midwives had moved from sitting on the sofa where they had been for most of the birth so far, to much nearer the pool. One of them said that he’d be with us soon. By this point my waters still hadn’t gone, or at least I didn’t think they had. My midwife saying she could see his waters, so I felt down again and sure enough there was a bulging sack just on top of his head, which I could also feel.
I moved my hand back to the side of the pool so I could grip onto my husband and with one more push as ‘Fix You’ by Coldplay was playing he was born en caul (inside his intact amniotic sac) at 8:38am, at that point I reached down behind me as that’s where I thought he was but in fact he had swum up to the side and slightly in front of me. At that point even though it was only seconds it felt to me like minutes as I tried to locate him in the pool! I picked him up in total shock and turned around to sit down and cradle him, I remember just looking at my midwife and exclaiming ‘I did it!’ I couldn’t believe how quickly things had changed from contractions to him being here.
We waited for the cord to stop pulsing before it was clamped and my husband cut it, something he missed out on first time round. I sat in the pool with him on my chest, offering feeds and waiting to see if my placenta would come without any form of intervention. We discussed the birth and the midwife explained that he was born with his membranes intact and as he swam up he had popped them himself with his hand, I wish I had seen that! The second midwife mentioned that it is thought to be a sign of luck. After an hour it was suggested I stand up to see if the placenta was just sitting there waiting to come out, so I handed baby to husband who sat on the sofa and had some skin to skin time with him while I stood up.
Sure enough as I stood up the midwife gently touched the cord and out plopped the placenta. To me that was an amazing moment as I couldn’t believe I’d done everything myself without intervention or pain relief. It was the icing on the cake to see the placenta!
I was made comfortable on the sofa where I was examined and found that I would heal naturally given time. I took the baby back in my arms for skin to skin time and just sat staring for the following few hours, thinking about the amazing home birth experience that I had just had!
For the rest of the day I had skin to skin time with him under a blanket on the sofa until I finally got him dressed at 5pm. We couldn’t believe that out of all the songs on the playlist it had been ‘Fix you’ that was playing as he was born. That song has always been special to us as a couple and one of the only singles I had ever bought on CD and kept, I don’t own many CDs anymore now that everything is digital. We had even been there when Coldplay had filmed the video for the single, so although you can’t spot us on the video I know we are in the crowd! It was also poignant as this birth really has fixed me after such a traumatic time first time around. His home birth song is fix you and I love it just as much as I loved my home birth.
I truly loved every minute of the positive pregnancy and birth experience and would do it again in a heartbeat if I could!
This year the boy is old enough to be aware of Christmas, he’s now 3 1/2 and never ever……ever stops talking. I love him for it but sometimes I do wonder if he’s capable of exhaling without making a noise! I’m sure all toddlers are the same. So when I was planning Christmas this year I decided I’d like to do something similar to elf on the shelf, the idea being that a magical little elf comes to live with us during December, not to keep an eye on the boys behaviour but to just have lots of Christmas fun! On my list of things to do before Christmas was make an Elf door, so here is how I made it!
1) I ordered a dolls house door from Ebay – it came from China so took a while but was only around £3
2) I painted the door red
3) I put silver glitter on the door (I love glitter!)
4) I wanted to mould the door to the skirting board so that the boy couldn’t see behind it and spoil the magic so I used some cardboard and trial and error to get the shape right.
5) Once it was shaped right I stuck it together with glue and sticky tape in the hope of covering up all the mistakes with paint!
6) I painted the surround green
7) I ordered some fymo from ebay but it hasn’t arrived in time, I was going to make a wreath and candy canes for decoration. If and when it arrives I’ll update the post!
8) The door was stuck on the skirting board downstairs in time for 1st December
9) The boy woke up that morning to the Elf bringing him a Lego Advent calendar, he was very excited
I’ve told him that the door is closed and only opens when no one is looking, he seemed happy with this explanation so far. He went to the toilet and asked if the door would open while he was gone. It’s so sweet. I myself have started to believe that the door goes to the north pole, I like to imagine that when the door opens a blast of cold air and a little snow comes through. I think one day he will wake to a little snow by the door (I need to figure out how to do that too!) Watch out for Elf door updates!
Now let me begin by saying I only have experience of groups I have attended in my area, but I have attended a few. I now volunteer at my local one as a BfN helper.
When the boy was just a few weeks old I was encouraged to attend my local group by the peer supporter that came to see me at home. My first thoughts were no way! Not only am I new to the role of mummy but I’m only just getting the hang of this breastfeeding business (and I’m not too good at that either!) I really didn’t want to go to a room full of people who knew what they were doing to sit there and have them all stare at my breasts when he needed a feed.
I seemed to only be able to feed with a cushion under the boy and using one awkward hand to hold my breast while holding him on with the other. How on earth was I going to do that at a group? I didn’t want people looking at me and my crying baby.
They would all know each other and I would know no one. So a couple more weeks went by and I was getting cabin fever stuck inside, but I certainly wasn’t ready to venture further than round the corner. So I thought about it for a few days and made the decision to give it a try, just the once and if it was awful I’d never have to go back again.
So Tuesday came and I packed myself up knowing it started at 10:30 I tried to feed the boy before leaving, which resulted in me leaving the house late. I debated on the way there if I should just turn around and go home. But I’d not been out for days so carried on walking. It’s not far to the place where it is held – a 15 minute walk. I glanced at the time as I reached the gate, it was now 10:45. I was late. I hate being late to anything. I hurried into the centre and asked the receptionist where I should be going. She told me which room it was in. The doors were closed and the blinds down so I couldn’t even see inside, I pushed the door open nervously and glanced around the room. There were some mats down with blankets and toys, a few chairs laid out and a sofa as well. I gave a nervous smile without making eye contact and walked in. I had only been there about 30 seconds before a lady with a wide smile on her face approached me and introduced herself as a volunteer helper. She asked my name, cooed over the boy for a moment and encouraged me to take a seat. She sat and talked with me for quite a while and my nervousness had gone, without me even realising I was fine in the room full of other breastfeeding mums and I was fine. Thankfully the time went quickly and before I knew it 12 o’clock had arrived and the group was finishing. The boy had slept all the way through, I didn’t even have to feed him, I couldn’t believe it. I walked home and reflected on how grateful I was that the lady had come to talk to me. In my professional life I talk to new people all the time but in my new role of mummy I was a different person!
The next Tuesday seemed to come round quite quickly and I ventured out once more. This time we didn’t have time to feed before leaving the house so I knew I’d have to feed at group. The same helper was there and she greeted me by name. When it was time to feed I asked her about a cushion and as if by magic she produced one. She also sat with me during the feed and gave me some great pointers on position and attachment. I was able to feed for the first time in public! All be it amongst other breastfeeding mums, but it was to me a massive step forward. Perhaps I could leave the house after all? As time went on I kept going back to the group week by week and made some friends there who I am still friends with now. I loved it, it was more of a social group than a support group as I thought it had been before I went. You defiantly didn’t need to have a problem with feeding to attend the group. I went to the group for a year then as I went back to work I had to stop going. I cried at my last time there because I was going to miss everyone. My little baby had grown into a 1-year-old at that group and often when times were hard with being a mummy and I’d consider giving up breastfeeding I’d think about having to leave the group and realise that I didn’t want to so carried on feeding.
After going back to work I explored my options around becoming a helper and being able to give back to other mums the help and encouragement I had been given and found the BfN helper course. I expressed my interest but had to wait quite a while to get a place that suited me and the ability to attend all the course. Finally I was able to attend and I am so glad I did. The course was amazing, I learnt so much about myself and my own listening skills. I really enjoyed every aspect of it. The tutor was such an enthusiastic teacher that the positivity around helping other breastfeeding mummies really shined through for me. I couldn’t wait to get started. I now volunteer each week as a breastfeeding helper at the very group I nearly didn’t go to three and a half years ago. So if you’re reading this now and wondering if you should go along, please do. You’ll more than likely find that there are lots of like-minded mummies there who just like you were unsure at first. You may make some new friends. You may just end up loving it so much that you too want to be a helper too. I’ll be forever grateful to the helper who welcomed me into the group that first time and I hope as a helper myself that I too make people feel welcome, and help them to continue their own breastfeeding journey to fulfil their own feeding choices.
Have you been to a group, were your experiences similar or different? I’d love to know.
How am I going to cope with a toddler and a baby? A question I often asked myself when I was pregnant with Flixster. With the boy still in nappies and not quite in a toddler bed yet I wasn’t sure how I was going to cope. I would reason with myself that many millions of people had survived before me so surely I could…maybe….right? Flixster is now almost 8 months old and so far I’ve survived, ok it’s on very little sleep but I’m here, I’m still standing (sort of!) So without further ado I’ll let you know my top tips for surviving!
1) Alcohol – start drinking, anytime, anywhere!
2) Lower your standards – your appearance, your expectations of food, your hopes for a tidy home etc
Now of course I’m joking about the above, although there have been times I’ve looked longingly at my open bottle of red on the top of the fridge, wondering if a small glass at 2pm would see me through until Daddy gets home! In reality though I only have the odd glass once the babies are in bed on a Saturday night.
What follows below is my serious list of hints and tips!
Organisation – now you’re probably thinking that of course I’m talking about being generally organised and although many of us would love to be organised in all aspects of life it’s just never going to happen! I’m talking specifically about getting yourself organised each night just for the next day.
1) So first and foremost if you’re going to be leaving the house the next day get your bag and the car packed. If you’re going to need the pushchair or pram then put it in the boot ready. Don’t think that it doesn’t matter and you can do it in the morning, good luck with that! Trying to juggle a baby and wrangle a toddler whilst folding a pushchair and ensuring no one accidentally ends up in the road is nearly impossible, you only have two hands – take it from me!
2) Make sure your changing bag is packed, be sure to remember everything you might need, drinks for toddler, nappies, wipes etc. In the early days of having two I used to really enjoy watching “What’s in my diaper bag” videos on YouTube. They would give me an idea of what I would need to pack and how to organise the bag. If you’re going to be staying at home, then make sure you have everything you need downstairs so that you’re not running up and down,holding a baby, or having to leave the two alone. The first time I did this for 20 seconds I came back to the boy trying to share his banana with Flixster who was only a week old!
3) Sling – This should probably be top tip number 1, it wasn’t until I had two children that I realised how valuable having a sling/baby carrier would be. You can get far more done with the toddler if the baby is in a carrier close to mummy. Be sure to buy a good one though and I highly recommend hiring one from a local sling library (if your lucky enough to live near one) before you invest your hard-earned money. There is a sling/carrier out there to suit everyone but not all types will suit you. Finding the one that suits you and your lifestyle well will bring you the joy of being hands free to deal with a toddler. I started out with a stretchy wrap for Flixster and now I have a material wrap alongside a ring sling for quick up and downs and a mei-tai style one for daddy to use. They get used multiple times a day and I’m not sure how I would have survived without them. There are lots of cheaper baby carriers out there on the market but most are not recommended as the baby hips aren’t kept in the correct ‘M’ position. A good place to check if the carrier is suitable is to have a look at the TICKS baby carrier list which you can view here.
4) Toilet – No nobody likes toilet talk but it is a part of everyone’s life. What if you need to go when you have sole charge of two small people? If you have a downstairs toilet then you’re probably ok, but what if you don’t? I take both children with me, place Flixster on the floor and get a book for the boy to look at. I have stair gates so I know if he leaves the bathroom he’ll be ok. What if you’re out in public? Try and find a disabled toilet so that you can all fit in together. If you have a double pushchair then strap the little ones in so that the toddler doesn’t go around touching everything while you have a wee! Yuck!
5) Feeding – Being a breastfeeder it’s a little harder to control a toddler while I’m feeding Flixster as I need both my hands for feeding. So if you can find a corner of a coffee shop and block the toddler in while you feed then great but what if you can’t? Do you have a pushchair where you could strap the toddler in safely while you feed? Perhaps the toddler could look at a toy, phone or book for distraction? Is there a feeding room where you are that you could go to in order to keep the toddler contained? Many large shopping centres have them now so just ask to see if the one you are in has one.
Believe me it’s not easy looking after a baby and toddler at the same time, there have been times in the early days where all three of us have been crying at the same time, but you live and learn and hopefully my tips will help. Good luck mummies and daddies, if there are any tips I’ve missed please feel free to let me know and I can add them on!
I love lists, I’m definitely a list maker. I have lists for everything all over the house, as well as on my iPhone & iPad. I’m constantly ticking off and rewriting lists. If I have a list to work from or towards I feel complete. Please don’t ask me how often I complete a whole list though! I’ve not really written many lists for my blog yet but inspired by the list link up here’s a list I’ve thought about writing for a while. So here it is, a list of things I’d love to do in my lifetime if I get the chance. Purely a self indulgent list of luxury things that I’d love to try!
– Stay in a 5* hotel with hubby
– Go on a skiing holiday
– Take my mum with us to Walt Disney World
– Visit Australia
– Have afternoon tea in the Shard and then stay there
– Eat in a Michelin starred restaurant
– Go down that super long zip wire in Wales
– Go on a cruise with the boys (and hubby of course!)
– Travel first class on an aeroplane
Well there it is my fantasy indulgent lifetime wish list.
Well I know it’s a few weeks away yet (5 weeks on Thursday to be precise!) but I feel a bit snowed under thinking about things I’d still like to get done before the big day itself. I feel that writing it down for the world to see will somehow spur me on to complete the tasks. Although I’m not sure when I will find the time but making a list is a start! While the boys (well older boy) believes in the magic of Christmas I want to make it special for him. I want him to carry the memories of Christmas as a child with him for the rest of his life. I want both boys to look back and remember the overwhelming feelings of love and being a family together that we have at Christmas time. I doubt they will remember the individual presents and that’s fine, but as long as they remember the magic and warmth then it’ll all be worth it.
This year I want to start a new tradition, along the lines of the elf of the shelf idea that is very popular in America. Although I don’t want it to be an elf that checks if he’s been good. I want it to just be a little Christmas elf that comes to live with us in December. A little elf that does silly things in the middle of the night. I don’t think we need an elf to check on his behaviour because both boys will be getting gifts from us no matter what. We are blessed that on the whole the boy is really well behaved and I hope that’s a reflection of the way we have brought him up. I don’t want him to feel threatened to behave by an elf for just one day of presents, I want him to behave all the time because that’s what is expected and he knows that. So to start the list of to do’s I need to make an elf door for the elf to travel from the North Pole to our house and most importantly buy or make an elf!
– Make an elf door
– Make an elf to come in through the door!
The next thing I really want to do this year is try and make a reindeer head to put up on the wall, I’ve seen a few in the shops but none have been just perfect yet. Most are too small or don’t look right. I’ve seen some almost perfect ones in a small shop in Lytham but they looked expensive and as I couldn’t see a price tag I didn’t dare ask how much they were and being on maternity pay I’m sure I wouldn’t have liked the answer anyway! So I though perhaps I could try and make one, even if it’s a bit rubbish at least I’ve tried!
– Try and make a reindeer head
The next thing on my list is to use the chalk pens I bought last year to decorate the windows, in order to do this I need to come up with some designs. Last year hubby and I were lucky enough to get a night away child free in London thanks to my lovely mum. She had the boy for one night so we travelled down early on Saturday and back again late Sunday by train. We walked so many miles that weekend and on one particular street I spotted the most amazing christmas window idea. So I took a photograph and once we got home set about doing some research.This was the window…..
I bought some chalk pens that had a good review and set about recreating it on our windows at home, sadly I can’t seem to find a picture of my efforts. I even took them into work to decorate the office door window.
– Look up designs to chalk onto our windows and french doors
Now the next thing that was on my list I’ve actually managed to tick off this weekend. For the first time in my life I’ve made a Christmas cake all by myself! Normally my mum makes me one and I decorate it. Not this year, oh no, its all my own work! I proudly mixed all the ingredients together and baked it in the oven for 3 hours. The house smelt like Christmas, it was wonderful. It’s now all wrapped up and put away in a tin for when I get a chance to decorate it in December!
So the list isn’t that long at the moment but it does only contain the things I needed to do pre-december. I’m sure I’ll be adding other items along the way. But for now I will leave you with this image…
Breastfeeding out and about – aka IN PUBLIC! Shock horror! (Insert shocked hands up to face emoticon!) Why on earth would any women ever feel the need to get her breasts out in public unless she was trying to flaunt around a sports car and look sexy, or pose provocatively on page 3 of a certain newspaper – now that of course is perfectly ok.However sitting down, creating no fuss and attaching a hungry little helpless baby is an absolute no no. Ladies what do you think you’re doing!? Just stop it, stop it now! Nobody wants to see it, go and hide somewhere and feel ashamed that you are giving your baby milk tailor-made for their every need.
Now calm down and take a breath.
Feeding your baby in public for the first or thirty-fifth time can be scary, very very scary. But it needn’t be. In this post I want to share my experience of feeding in public and any hints or tips I can give you to make things a little easier and less scary.
First of all please know that the law is with you on this one. It is against the law to treat any women unfavourably because she is breastfeeding. In short you can feed anywhere you need to without being asked to stop, move , leave, or being made to feel uncomfortable. There is a really good information sheet produced by maternity action which can be found here. So armed with the right knowledge and backing of the law you may feel more confident about feeding your baby when you need to if you’re out.
But having the knowledge isn’t the same as actually feeding when out and about. When I was a new mum I was petrified of breastfeeding in public, I wasn’t so much worried about what people would say but what they might see. I didn’t want my breasts to be on show to the world. I hadn’t however back then worked out how I could feed discreetly. In my head I had imagined I’d have to sit in the middle of a coffee shop and literally ‘flap out a boob’ leaving myself half-naked, which simply isn’t true. Once you’ve overcome the first few hurdles of breastfeeding and mastered the position and attachment then you can start practising feeding discreetly. Just like learning to ski you can’t learn it all in one session so make sure you’ve got the basics down pat before you try the slightly more complicated moves!
There are lots of breastfeeding covers out there that you can buy to use if you would like to, or a simple muslin would be fine. I used one for quite a while with the boy and it gave me the confidence to know that wherever I went I would be able to feed him. He was quite a fussy feeder and so I was constantly worried that he may be on and off all the time. If you feel you want to use a cover to boost your confidence then go for it! Just make sure that you are not compromising your position and attachment when you do use it as that may make you sore. I haven’t used one at all with Flixster when feeding as I don’t feel that I need to.
Clothing – plan ahead! There are lots of breastfeeding specific clothes out there to buy, and that’s great if you want to invest in a new wardrobe but there are also lots of ordinary everyday items of clothing that will work well when breastfeeding. Spaghetti strap vests become your friend! I tend to layer up and wear a couple of vest tops, one you can pull up and one you can pull down to just below the bra. Then you can drop the cup on your bra and just expose the nipple part of your breast, once the baby is attached you’ll be showing barely anything at all. Wrap dresses or wrap top or pretty much anything with a deep ‘V’ shape neck can be teamed with a vest top – pull the vest top up, drop the bra cup and way you go. A boob tube and a t-shirt over the top, pull the shirt up, pull the boob tube down a little, drop your cup and away you go. Boob tubes are great under pretty much any top as they cover your middle which most new mums certainly don’t want to show and can be pulled down to just under the bra and your other top can be pulled up.
Where to feed – My favourite place is of course the coffee shops of wherever we are, because most of them sell cake! A feed for baby and a treat for me – after all they do say that feeding burns 500 cals a day (why I’m not stick thin I don’t know!) What if you can’t find a coffee shop though or you don’t want to spend money? How about a changing room, are you in a shop that has quite a few changing cubicles. Most shops have seats in them now, or at least somewhere to perch. If you ask nicely enough I’ve never been turned away. Now I realise it’s not ‘in public’ but it will have a seat which most breastfeeders need, and is easily available in most clothes shops! Failing that most book shops have seats too! Often larger shopping centers will have a feeding room so it’s always worth an ask.
When you first start feeding out and about and feel nervous about it have someone with you who can sit with you and chat, it might take your mind off it a bit and also make sure they too are aware of the law so that if anybody does say anything they are with you to defend you. At this point let me reassure you that incidents of anybody saying something to a breastfeeding mum happen far less than you think they do. I myself have fed out and about many many times and have never been made to feel uncomfortable, it does happen but of course those are often the stories that make the news. The millions of mums who feed out and about without incident every single day aren’t news worthy.
So please go out and feed in public if your baby is hungry, don’t let breastfeeding stop you from going out. If you need to start slowly to build up your confidence do that, everyone starts somewhere and those mums that make it look easy undoubtedly were nervous the first time they fed in public. Most of the time you wouldn’t give me a second glance when feeding in public, you’d probably just think I was giving my baby a close hug, but let me tell you it certainly wasn’t like that for me at first. I’ve been there. I’ve been that mum that would panic at the first twitch of baby being unhappy and needing feeding. You can do it, you really can, it just takes practise and the confidence will come.
Please feel free to get in touch with me if you want any further help or pointers, I’m happy to discuss my journey with anyone.
The school applications have just opened in our local authority area…..help! How is my baby going to survive school? How am I going to make the right choices for him? What if we don’t get our first choice school? Or even second or third choice?
The boy is an August born baby so is going to be one of the youngest in his school year. He’ll have just turned 4 when he starts. How will I know if he’s ready. What if he gets upset and needs a mummy hug while he’s there?
All mummies and daddies must go through these emotions….right?
In September this year as I was taking Flixster for a walk I saw all the neatly dressed boys and girls heading to school and thought that this time next year it’ll be me. It barely seems 5 minutes since he was born and in the blink of an eye another year will have passed and I’ll be standing at the school gates for the first time waving him off.
One of the hardest things for me to get my head around at the moment is putting my heart into finding the right school for him and then the seemingly long wait to find out if he can have a place. Our nearest school is a lovely church school and I would have been happy to send him there but they don’t have any after school care facilities which we would need as both I and hubby work. I could look at alternatives such a a childminder which I would prefer but it’s not a reliable option as I’d be looking for one now with spaces in Sept 2015. What if those spaces were no longer available when I needed one? I really need him to go to a school with guaranteed before and after school care, then if I can find a childminder all the better but at least I have options if not.
I’ve been to look around another local school today, I wasn’t able to make it to their open day so I had to make a separate appointment. The school has a good ofsted report but I was given a whistle stop tour by someone who didn’t even tell me their name. I thought I was going to really like the school but I’m not in love with it. Should I be looking for schools as I’d look for a house? If I’m looking at houses I want to walk in and fall in love with the place, should I have the same emotion if I’m looking for a school for my son to attend?
I have to make three choices, put the application in, then wait, and wait, and wait.
The final decision will be emailed to me in April, which at the moment seems like a lifetime away. I can imagine I will be obsessively checking my emails on the day they go out. I think I’ll be more nervous than I was receiving my own exam results or doing pregnancy tests! This is about my babies future, its about which gates I’ll be peeping through next September with my heart in my mouth hoping my little boy will be ok.
Expect lots more posts about schools in the next few months as it seems to be always on my mind at the moment.
If anyone has tips for choosing schools please let me know. I’ve never done this before and although I know its just another chapter in the big book of parenting, its one that I’m starting with butterflies in my tummy!
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