So the last few weeks theres has been a story in the news about a mother who is breastfeeding her 6 year old. Being quite involved in breastfeeding myself as a volunteer supporter at my local breastfeeding group people often ask to see what my opinion is. Being involved in breastfeeding, people often challenge my opinions as well or want to tell me their own story. I’m always open to listening to peoples own journeys, why they may or may not have chosen to breastfeed. The problems they may have come across. What puts people off and what horror stories they have heard before.

When the news story came out about a mum still feeding her 6 year old it put breastfeeding in the news once again. Once again people are talking about it. What I don’t understand though is why people are bothered? Why do people feel they need to express an opinion about how that particular mum chooses to bring up her children? How does it affect anyone else other than the mum and the child? Why judge something you no nothing about? Whether you have or haven’t breastfed in your life, someone else’s feeding relationship has nothing to do with you. From the comments I have read on various news threads it seems some people can be very nasty, saying things about psychological damage to the child. What concern is it of theirs? Why even comment on a story like that? What if the child reads all of those nasty comments when they are older, surely that would do more damage to the child.

I have read the story, I have read many comments in support of her and many that are not, and I have read what various ‘experts’ have to say about it. Some experts have real qualifications, some lets say are questionable! But what I think of the situation doesn’t need to be expressed, it has nothing to do with me. What that mum does has no affect on my life or that of my own children. So please just leave her be, let her get on with her own life the way that she feels is best for her and her own children. If she’s out and about feeding and you don’t like it look the other way, no ones making you look at her.

I’m not saying what I feel about it, it doesn’t matter if I agree or don’t agree, if I support her or not, it just doesn’t matter. It’s her child, her choice and her life.


 

 

We are well in to 2015 now, already 9 days in! I haven’t specifically done a post on new years resolutions as they are just so hard to keep. I thought the better thing to do would be to write a list of goals that I would like to achieve this year. Something I can keep referring to and if its written down then at least I feel more accountable. Something to work towards. A year is a long time, 365 days to get things done, make memories, share love and cuddles. 2015 is a big year for us. The year I have to buy school uniform for the first time, the year I return to work, the year Flixster turns 1. We have so much to be grateful and thankful for and if life stopped now and we continued forever stuck in this moment then I’d be a happy person. But life goes on and I like to have things to work towards. So here it is, my list of things I’m working towards in 2015.

1) Lose my baby weight – I know it’s on most people’s lists but this year I have to do it. I don’t want to be the fat mum at the school gates, I want to feel proud to stand there when he starts school. Knowing I’ve worked hard to get rid of my baby weight once and for all!

2) Save some money – Whilst I’ve been on maternity leave our savings have been depleted and so I feel a little uncomfortable that we have no emergency fund in case of emergencies. So once I’m back at work I’d like to start saving again

3) Get back to running – I got to a point before the boy was born that I had started to enjoy running a little bit. I’ve never been a runner. I was always the last person in the school cross-country. I was never picked for running on sports day (thankfully!) so I just thought it wasn’t for me. However before the boy was born I had started to use one of the couch to 10k apps on my phone and I actually saw results from it. For the first time in my life I was doing it, I was actually running. So I’d like to get back to that. I know I’ll have to start right back at the beginning again. But I want to do it and the sooner I start the better.

4) Do things when I think of them (i.e. don’t be lazy) – I often see little jobs that need doing and most of the time I will do them but sometimes I’ll put them off and then regret it later on or the next day. This year I plan to be a little less lazy and do things instead of letting them slip.

5) Remember birthdays – I’m so bad at sending birthday cards and presents. I seem to remember a month before then forget until at least a week after the event. That’s not good enough. I really really must get them sorted this year.

6) Speak to the universe more often – I believe in speaking to the universe, I’ve read lots of books about cosmic ordering and subjects like that. I know many people are sceptical, some laugh at the idea. But I think there’s something in it, I don’t know what it is and I can’t get my head around it, but its something. So I’m going to be practising it more often.

7) Learn more – If there’s something that peaks my interest, I’m going to make a point of learning about it. An active brain is a happy brain!

8) Be less harsh with myself – I’m my own worst critic

9) Be kind to everyone I meet – Everyone is fighting some unseen battle

10) Smile and laugh more – On the whole I’m a positive person but sometimes things get on my nerves like mess and untidiness, I need to learn to let go a little and smile when things aren’t quite right, or exactly how I’d like them to be!

 

 

Mums' Days

I’m going back to work next week. I’m think I’m supposed to feel sad that my maternity leave is over and worried that Flixster is starting nursery. The truth is that I will be worried about Flixster but I’m quite looking forward to returning to work. I’m lucky that I like my job I work with a great team of people. I’m also lucky that I’m not returning five days I’m going back to the 3 long days I did after the boy was born. Flixster will be attending the same nursery that the boy goes to 3 days a week. I really like the nursery, it’s in an old cottage and feels homely. The staff are nice and the children seem happy there. So I know that he’ll be looked after, its just hard at first to picture him away from me. I will try my best not to think to much about him, not because I don’t care but because I don’t want to upset myself. there is no other way at the moment, I have to go to work so he has to go to nursery. We don’t have family close by who would be able to have them and even if we did it’s a big commitment to have children for three days each and every week, when you’ve already worked all your life and are now retired.
I’m looking forward to being back at work so that people call me Jane and not just “Flixsters mummy”. I enjoy the challenge of work, something different everyday. Its rewarding as well to know I’m helping people. I know it sounds daft too but it’s me time, time when I can think about something other than housework, feeding and nappies. Time to use my brain and give it a workout.

I’ve been for Flixsters first trial at nursery today, we went to the baby room for an hour and I stayed with him. He seemed ok but he was sat with me for the whole time so he had no reason to be concerned anything was out of the ordinary. Tomorrow I’m due to leave him at lunchtime for around 90 minutes. I’m sure he’ll be fine, but only time will tell. I hope he settles in quickly and that he understands as best he can that we’ll always be back to pick him up each evening. I’m expecting him to catch all sorts of illnesses though in the next few months, it can’t be helped when they start nursery. I’m just hoping that his immune system is nice a strong to cope with them all.

He’s still breastfed so I’ll be sending milk in with him for the nursery to give him. I’ve not started pumping yet so I’d better do that soon as he starts properly next Wednesday. I’m going to have to pump at work too as he feeds lots during the day and I don’t want to stop feeding him yet.

I’m not sure how I’ll cope with the tiredness when I’m back in work, he still feeds lots of times through the night, I guess I’ve got no option but to cope. I just hope he starts sleeping a little more in the evening soon or I’ll be spending all day at work and then the evening trying to settle him, which will mean I never get anything done.

I hope the next few months aren’t too turbulent for us as a family but I’m not so sure they are going to be easy sailing for us either. I guess only time will tell!

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This is my first time linking up with ‘Point and Shoot’ link. I love photography, I’m not great at it but I try. I mainly use my iPhone camera as the quality is so good but my hubby has a fancy slr camera which I plan to learn to use properly this year! (Just another thing for the list of things to do!) So for my first time join in I’m using a snap of the Flixster from this weekend. Just a quick shot which we took while he was sat on daddies knee no long after he woke from his nap in daddies arms, hence the pillow face creases! We didn’t get up to much this weekend at all, feeling the pinch of maternity leave pay (i.e no pay!) we are trying to stay in a bit more and play with all the lovely things we got for Christmas rather than going out all the time and ending up buying food and drink out which always adds up easily!
So here it is my point and shoot offering!

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Yesterday I spent most of that day packing up Christmas. It was sad. I can honestly say that this year was the best Christmas I have had as a grown up. Seeing the magic through the eyes of a child is wonderful. The excitement building, the belief that magic is happening, it truly as fabulous. For weeks I was building up to it. I’m a very Christmassy person anyway. I love everything about it, the magic, the wonder, the waiting, the carol services, the meaning behind Christmas. Just everything to me is fabulous. So it was very much an anti-climax to be packing it away. I tried to just have in my mind that it was only temporary and that we will have an amazing year between now and next Christmas but I was still sad inside.
The saddest moment came when I accidentally smashed the boys special bauble, the one I bought him for his first Christmas, it was hand painted and said “My First Christmas 2011” on it. I cried, I was so sad to lose that one particular item, of all the items its irreplaceable. The boy saw me crying and came over to comfort me, it was very sweet. It was sweet up until the point he said –
“Don’t cry mummy, I’ll cheer you up with a big trump” then he went to fetch his new whoopee cushion “I’m going to do a big trump now” and proceeded to flop down on the whoopee cushion. I had to laugh, and I may not have the bauble to hold and look at each year any more but I certainly have the memory of his actions.

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This year was the first year I have ever cooked Christmas dinner. I’m lucky that I have a hubby who loves cooking, which is doubly lucky as I dislike it. I’ve tried to like it, I just don’t. I’d rather have a clean and tidy kitchen than a cooking mess, but that’s just me! Anyway I did it, I actually cooked it all by myself and it was a success. I learnt things too that I will apply for next year. I will prepare the veg the day before, as it will allow me more time with the children on Christmas morning. I will also lay the table and do as much as I can on Christmas eve so that I only spend minimal time in the kitchen away from the family.

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This year I left it to Christmas eve to see Father Christmas. We booked and went to Gullivers World on Christmas eve. Lets just say we won’t be doing that again.

I have absolutely adored having hubby home for the crimbo limbo time. We have spent much-needed time as a family together. Its been just perfect, I will really miss him on Monday when he’s back at work. Although I myself am back at work in two weeks after maternity leave so I have plenty to think about to keep myself busy. I have to get Flixster settled in nursery in the next couple of weeks, which I’m dreading as he’s such a velcro baby. I hope to goodness he settles ok, trying not to think about it now though. I also have to get the school application in for the boy before I go back to work too. Another thing to keep me busy! We still have two days left together though as a family so I’m going to make the most of it and enjoy every minute.

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Christmas this year was also a time to reflect on the past year, what a whirlwind it has been for us. A new person in our lives. Dear family and friends we have lost were also kept close to our hearts in the hope they are looking down upon us and enjoying it with us. This year for us is full of promise, things we’d like to do are stuck on our fridge in a list in the hope that the universe will provide for us if we believe and work hard enough. However whatever happens and whatever road we take I know that as long as we have each other we can get through anything.

I hope that if you’re reading this 2015 brings you health and happiness whatever path that you are currently travelling on. 2014 was an amazing year for us with many highs and thankfully only a few lows, I hope that 2015 can only get better.

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I can’t be the only one whose baby just won’t sleep in a cot but why does it feel like it every night while I’m sat in the dark staring at the cot face patting and singing to a crying baby.

Pick up – He’s fine

Put down – He starts screaming

Pick up – He’s fine again

Put down – He starts screaming

Repeat, repeat, repeat

What am I going to do?

Two weeks ago today we decided it was time to try to transition Flixster to a cot. All I was hoping for was a few hours in the evening that I could get on with some housework, or blog, or go to the gym, or for a run.

Since the day he was born I have co-slept with him, every single night I am there for him at every wake up, and they usually happen every two hours throughout the night. I follow the safe sleep guidelines and he’s breastfed so I feel that our sleeping arrangement is what suits us best. However now that I am returning to work I really would like for him to spend some time in the cot.

I’m against the ‘cry it out’ method of just leaving him alone in the dark to cry. It’s not what I believe in. I want a gentle transition to his own bed. I can’t bear to hear him screaming and crying thinking he might be scared and feel lonely, which is why I sit next to the cot night after night. I thought that after two weeks of consistency we would have seen some improvement. There was one night he slept from 7pm until 10pm. I thought we might have been getting somewhere but he’s not done it again since. That was around the third or fourth day.

So here we are two weeks later and stuck in the same cycle. I still get no evening, I can’t get anything done. I’m beginning to feel pretty suffocated by it all. I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t know what I’m doing right or wrong. He’s almost 9 months now. I didn’t expect this. His brother was sleeping in his own cot by now with no fuss. We used to give him his milk feed, put him in bed, read a book and then he’d settle himself off to sleep peacefully no fuss.

So do I carry on trying? Will anything change, or do I give in and have to sit with him on my lap every night after his brother has gone to bed, getting nothing done?

I just don’t know where we go from here.

 

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Since my boys are still so young, just 40 months and 8 months there are going to be many ‘firsts’ for them. I want to make sure they are documented so that we can look back on them together in years to come. So I’m kicking off this series of posts with one about the boys first time Ice Skating.

Where – Bolton Town Centre

When – 14th December 2014 (Daddies birthday)

What – First Time Ice Skating

We booked the ‘Slippy Sundays’ toddler session a few weeks ago and so with tightly crossed fingers for the weather to hold out we set out towards Bolton town centre. I had explained to you lots of times that we were going ice skating so that you were prepared for what to expect. We turned up a little early and got your skates on, they were double bladed ones that had to be strapped to your own shoes. I got my skates on too and the cheerful guy who was working there offered you a penguin to push around for balance. While we waited for our time on the ice to begin you noticed the penguin only had one eye so we decided to call him ‘Blinky’!

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At 10 o’clock it was time to get on the ice, with a little nervousness we stepped on. I have been ice skating quite a few times before and although I’d prefer to be skiing I quickly got my ice feet back on.

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Once we’d been around once we got the hang of going a little faster. You were shouting over to daddy “Mummies teaching me how to skate” I could have hugged you so tight then. I kept checking you were ok and you kept replying that you were having a fun time.

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There weren’t enough penguins for each child so we had to share them around. Being able to hold your hands up gave my back a rest.

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We came off the ice a little before the end of the session as I think you had had enough and I wanted to end on a high before either of us fell over! So that was it over in a flash you’re first time ice skating and you’d loved it!

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Love you xxx

 

 

 

As part of my weekly list post to focus myself, at this special time of year I’d like to do a mainly gratitude focused list, I have so much to be grateful for in life and it’s important to remember this everyday.

Gratitude – This Week

1) Boys – I count my blessing everyday that I have two wonderful healthy little boys. We truly are blessed to have been given the gift of the two of them. They brighten up our lives each day with their smiles and giggles. Of course they are hard work too but work every sleepless night.

2)Husband – He works so hard for us as a family in a job that at the moment is a challenge, he comes home and helps out around the house with housework and the boys. He puts up with me day in day out and I know I can be a challenge! He loves me unconditionally and is always there for me when I need him to be my rock.

3) Our Home – We have a roof over our heads, which is safe, warm, cosy and comfortable, which is far more than many people in the world have.

4) Food in our tummies  – We are thankfully in a position to be able to feed ourselves each day

5) Our Families – We have supportive family around us who help out if they are needed, we love them all dearly and are grateful to  be close to them.

6) The boy went to the toilet all by himself upstairs, did everything alone and also washed his hands.

7) Flixster pulled up all by himself in the cot to standing – the little monkey is growing so fast

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Funny things the boy has said this week

1) “Mummy why did the chicken cross the level crossing? Because he got hit by a train and it was an ouchy and he died.”

(I wasn’t sure how to respond to that??)

2)”Mummy why did the chicken cross the waffle maker? Because he wanted to get squished and be a waffle…and die”

(Again there’s a theme here….)

3) Bolcano – “Mummy its not volcano with a V its Bolcano with a B” – He’s insisting that its Bolcano and there’s no telling him otherwise

So it’s a short post but it makes me realise again what I have in life and that I certainly have nothing to moan about.

 

 

 

 

 

Mums' Days

Right now I’m sat in Starbucks typing this alone as my lovely hubby has given me some baby free time so I’m going to start with my gratitude list.

Blessings and Highlights

Being able to sit alone in Starbucks alone for a couple of hours with my laptop typing away to my hearts content (thanks to my hubby) after a hard day stuck indoors with a baby who just wants to be stuck to me all the time (This too shall pass)

Enjoying a breakfast out with my parents and the boys – it was quite chaotic but the boy really enjoyed himself!

Having a lovely day at my mums house with the boys on Monday – watching ‘The Snowman’ with my Mum

Attending the first home birth meeting being restarted in my area

Meeting up with old friends for an afternoon/night out in Manchester – it was lovely to have some good food and drinks and a proper girly chat! One too many mulled wines and some prosecco later and I was in bed for 10:30!

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Watching the boys having interactions together under the Christmas tree

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Challenges of the Week

A beautiful 8 month old baby who’s only happy when stuck to my side – its hard, really hard

A beautiful 8 month old baby who feeds every hour or so throughout the night, every night

Trying to find the time to make all the handmade bits I want to get done in time for Christmas

Trying to find the time to do some things I need to do for work

Things still to do before Christmas

Post the Christmas Cards – They are written, they just need posting now

Wrap the children’s and family Christmas presents

Put the marzipan on the Christmas cake and leave it to settle

Write a list of food we are going to buy for Christmas

Get in touch with people we are going to see over crimbo limbo time to schedule a meet up

Make a CD of festive music for my mums car, for when she’s driving to see us on Christmas eve

Visit the Manchester Christmas markets one last time before they are gone for another year

Find and buy a 2015 diary I like so that I try to get organised for the new year as I’m going back to work after maternity leave – I’m fussy with diaries, I like to have somewhere each day or week to write notes so it has to be just right.

 

 

Mums' Days

Breastfeeding its a journey!

If you’ve read any of my other posts about breastfeeding you’ll already know that before I had the boy my stance on breastfeeding was quite neutral. I thought I’d give it a go and if it didn’t work then I didn’t think I’d be that bothered. After all there are other options out there.

So when he came along I carefully tread on the first steps of my breastfeeding journey which took me to feeding him to around 18 months and I’m now feeding the Flixster who is 8 months.
But what’s it really like? A question I often get asked by pregnant friends or mums to be that I meet. I’ve thought about the answer and there isn’t just one answer I can give. Its beautiful, easy, hard, amazing, lazy, cuddly, addictive and fabulous all at the same time.

It certainly wasn’t easy for me to begin with. As with all new skills it has to be learned. Baby is born knowing how to find the breast and how to suckle. If you haven’t seen any videos of a newborn’s first breast crawl (yes they really can crawl to a breast all by themselves when they are born) then go and have a scout around youtube. There are some amazing tear jerking videos showing newborns finding their own way to the nipple once placed skin to skin on a mothers chest. For mummies however its a skill to be learnt and getting a good position and attachment of baby is key to everything. In years gone by this knowledge was passed from mother to mother, but in recent years this skill has been lost which is why breastfeeding peer supporters, volunteers and specialists are vital in the success of mothers who may be having a difficult time, or may be in pain whilst feeding. Getting that right position and attachment is everything. With that skill cracked I’d say you’d be well on your way to a successful feeding journey for however long you chose to feed for.

The Early days of Breastfeeding

The early days of feeding aren’t just about the right position and attachment they are also about establishing a good milk supply for the baby. Babies are born with tiny little stomachs that can’t hold much milk, which is why they feed so frequently. The milk may be of little volume at first but it’s of such great value to the newborn, packed with everything they need to survive. Don’t think that because you are feeding so little and often that you’re not making enough milk for baby. Newborns feed so often because they need to, because their tiny little tummies can only hold small amounts at a time. When the boy was little I’d set myself small targets. First I wanted to get to 10 days, then two weeks then four weeks. People would tell me that if I could get to 6 weeks then I’d have broken the back of feeding and things would get easier. They weren’t wrong. Six weeks seem like such a long time away when you have a newborn and you’re surviving on very little sleep, but in the grand scheme of things it’s such a short time.
So fast forward to now, I’m quite an experienced breastfeeding mum and peer support volunteer. I love breastfeeding because I’m quite a lazy person when it comes to routine jobs, I love that if Flixster needs milk there’s no washing and sterilizing of bottles. No boiling up the kettle then waiting for it to cool again and finding the powder to add. Theres no need for me to think ahead to how long we may be out of the house for and how many bottle I need to take. Anytime he needs a feed I just lift my top and latch him on. There’s not, as many people think any need to expose anything, as long as you plan ahead slightly with your outfit then its pretty easy to feed discreetly if you need to.
The thing I love most though about breastfeeding is the feeling of love you get when you feed, the oxytocin high not long after baby latches on. It must be the same feeling people get who are addicted to exercise, I wouldn’t know though, I’d love to find time to exercise, I miss running. I love looking down at Flixster who’s hand is usually waving wildly or stocking my face gently knowing he feels comfortable and at home whilst feeding, he feels safe and secure, it’s the one place in the whole world that he is most familiar with. He’s so tiny still just 8 months and he’s not going to be feeding forever, so for now while he still does I’m going to try to remember every single minute because before I know it (and I won’t know when) he’ll have finished his last ever breastfeed and it’ll all be in the past.

Breastfeeding