When I thought about myself as a parent before I had children, I always thought about the sort of parent I’d be. Would I be strict? Would I be gentle, or would I get all shouty? I never thought about what sort of child I’d have.
The boy is now 4 years old and has been in school for half a term. Being his mum obviously I know him inside out. I know what motivates him and what pushes him away. I know what he loves and doesn’t love. I know he’s a very emotional child.
He has masses of empathy for other people. If he sees someone being told off or being treated unfairly he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like loud noises, or shouting. He always knows when I’m sad, even if I’m just pretending, even when he’s busy doing something else. He gets very upset watching sad things on television, he fights back tears.
I have never told him to not be so sad, I always give him cuddles when he feels like that, and I have certainly never used the words ‘Man up’ because it’s not who he is. But I sometimes struggle to explain it to someone else.
How do you explain the complexities of an emotional child in a couple of sentences to someone you’ve never met?
Sometimes I just say he’s an emotional child, sometimes I try to explain he has a lot of empathy. Sometimes I say nothing and just let people come to their own conclusions. I just don’t want him to get hurt by anyone. It would break my heart if anyone ever told him to stop crying or man up, or if they told him it was silly to cry.
I want him to be who he is, true to himself, not having to hide his emotions. I want him to keep his empathy and to understand other people’s feelings.
I love him for exactly who he is and I don’t want him to be changed by others who think he should fit a different mould.
Last weekend we packed up the car with all the paraphernalia you need for a day out with small people and headed to our local ‘Pumpkin Patch’. We’ve never been before. My beautiful American friend Jenny from Let’s Talk Mommy has a yearly tradition with her children and when she was young of picking pumpkins. I guess over here in England its never been that popular before. When I was young pumpkins were of course available in the shop to carve and I remember buying one sometimes to carve. There was one year that my dad carved the pumpkin and my mum made a pumpkin pie…it was awful! I have since found out that pumpkin pie is in fact a delicious dish so I have no idea what my mum did that year!
Before we had children I used to dread halloween, I hated being disturbed by trick or treaters so we’d always just go out instead to avoid it all! However once again children have changed me and I now look forward to the night. I love putting up the decorations and getting ready for all the little ones who come to our door to trick or treat. So this year I wanted to start a new tradition for our family and head out to the pumpkin patch. It was also a fab chance to get some snaps of the children. We have an SLR camera which I have mentioned before but we don’t use it half as much as we should so I jumped at the chance to take it with us a practise my skills (of which I have very little!).
I love this shot of the boys going through the Maize Maze together, I try to get the boy to hold Flixsters hand more often now when they are walking, I especially love how Flixsters pointing at something in this shot.
We loved spending time looking at the pumpkins growing in the field. Flixster mainly just loved the mud, touching the mud on the pumpkins and walking in the most mud possible. But he is only 18 months old!
The sun was shining and he was enjoying himself!
There were quite a few rotting pumpkins which the boy loved, being a boy anything gory seems to fascinate him.
I really loved the visit, being outdoors with the boys, running around, taking photos, looking at all the pumpkins. I think it’s something I’d really like to do every October to kick off our halloween celebrations. A new tradition in our house has started.
It’s already been over a week and a half since I last posted on my blog. Life just seems to get in the way. I have so many things I’d like to spend time writing about and documenting, but I never seem to be able to find the time.
I have a full time job and on the days I’m not in work I have Flickster to look after. I also volunteer as a peer supporter at the breastfeeding group each week so that takes up another morning. Then of course there are weekends, which are spent in a spin of washing, cleaning, family time, going out.
I must make more of an effort to spend just a little more time documenting life as a family. I want the boys to have their memories to look through in years to come and my blog is way of doing this.
The other thing of course that takes up a lot of our time at the moment is moving house. It’s really getting quite stressful as we move towards the date we are hoping to move into our forever home, with packing, putting things in storage and sorting through all the clutter there seems to be little time for me ever but I suppose thats standard for mums.
Once we are in the new house though, our forever home I will make more time for me and for making memories for the boys that they will have to treasure forever. But in the meantime I must remember this famous quote…
A house is made of bricks and mortar, a home is where memories are made. One of the biggest memories of our time in our current house, if not the biggest was my home birth. My second baby was born in our home, right there in our living room. He took his first breath as I lifted him from the water. The first thing he saw was my face in our front room. He decided to make his way earth side on that day in that place. How can I say goodbye to that place, knowing what happened there.
We bought this house in 2006, it was a new build so we are the only people who have every lived here. It was our first home together as a couple, we have grown together, got married, brought our first baby home here and Flixster was born here. This house holds many many memories for us. We are packing our physical belongings and taking our memories with us but the one thing I’m struggling to physically let go of is the place where the miracle of life and birth happened.
While we are waiting for the last things to be tied up in terms of the house move, I’m preparing to say goodbye to one spot in particular that will always hold a place in my heart, my second babies birth space.
In order to keep his very special place marked I have written all his details on a piece of paper with the words “was born in this home”, folded it up and hidden it between the floorboards and the ceiling below upstairs. I know that it’s there and will probably be there now for a very long time to come. It has helped me get ready for saying goodbye to the special place.
So it’s with a heavy heart I will be saying goodbye but as the door closes on that chapter of our memories I’m ready to open the door on a wonderful bright future and turn the page to reveal the next chapter in our memory book.
So I know that no one will ever find this funny, but I do because it’s so unfunny, and I want to write it down so that I don’t forget all his little moments.
The boy is a keen fan of jokes, I don’t think remotely for one minute he gets them, or understands them. He loves to make his own jokes up and he will say the same one over and over for weeks. I have to laugh….everytime….
On the way home from school today:
Mummy I’ve got a joke for you
Ok, thats great what is it? (Thinking oh no not again!)
What do you call a pork with no eyes?
I don’t know? What do you call a pork with no eyes?
Jurassic Pork! (Cue lots of fake laughter from me, and a whole lot of internal dialogue for myself)
Do I tell him that it’s Jurassic Park not Jurassic Pork? He hasn’t even seen the movie so how would he understand. I think for a moment, about explaining that its a park with dinosaurs, but will this just scare him?
He tells me that he’s told his teacher…oh great now his teacher has had to fake laugh as well. I try to think about where he’s got this idea for a joke from………a pork with no eyes………..I just don’t get it, I guess I probably never will. I love that boy so much!
We are going to move house soon (if all goes through, fingers crossed, touch wood) and I’m looking forward to having a larger kitchen, our current kitchen is a good size for cooking on your own but it’s not really big enough for cooking as a family and it’s certainly not big enough for all the kitchen gadgets that I absolutely, positively need in order to make mealtimes more technical and science based.
I’ve been spending a lot of time planning for the new kitchen and this post represents my more realistic plans for the new kitchen and I’ve omitted some of the more esoteric, single use gadgets that my wife will never ever let me have…
The Coffee Station
Taking my inspiration from Pinterest, I plan to dedicate a section of the kitchen to a coffee station. Two small children have made coffee a major part of my life and I recently took the decision to reduce the quantity of coffee I consume and improve the quality. I really appreciate a fantastic coffee, and good coffee is worth the effort!
Wall Art
I love this print which can be found here, it will make it the centre piece of the my coffee station.
The Coffee Machine
We have a popular coffee pod machine which will be coming with us and it’s great for quick and easy coffee but I’m now looking to have some fun and practice the art of coffee a little more. I’ve been researching coffee machines and after speaking to a Sage representative at the intu Trafford Centre, I’ve decided that the Sage Barista Express is the machine for me. It offers an inbuilt grinder that delivers the right dose of coffee directly into the portafilter and a thermocoil for heating the water and generating steam for the milk giving me an opportunity to try my hand at latte art. Plus it looks good, I like the brushed stainless steel look, and the reviews are great.
To complete the barista experience, I’ll also be looking to buy a knock box and a stainless steel milk jug. I can’t wait to try and perfect my coffee and latte art!
The Coffee
We’re big fans of Pact coffee and we currently use their service to provide us with small batch, freshly ground coffee for drinking at work (I use a Hario V60 dripper and my wife has ‘borrowed’ by aeropress), so I can see us adding beans to our subscription as we like the variety that pact gives us.
I’d also like to mimic the espressos served my favourite Manchester coffee houses, so I’ll be buying some Cult of Done espresso as served by Pot Kettle Black and Barnraiser as served by Grindsmiths and North Tea Power’s Deerhunter house blend.
Knives
I’ve always wanted to own a set of Global knives but I’ve been a bit intimidated by the sharpness and precision of their Japanese steel but I think I’m old enough and proficient enough to now invest in some.
Knife Block
As much as I love Globals, being a father to two young boys has made me a little more safety conscious and the Joseph Joseph LockBlock is a locking knife block while prevents little hands from being able to remove the knives.
Chopping Board
I’m obsessed with Joseph Joseph and their innovative approach to design, so I’ve got my eye on their Index chopping boards which are stylish and space-saving.
Fridge Freezer
We’ll finally have space for an american style fridge freezer, this Samsung one is perfect, and I’m sure the boy will love being able to access chilled water and ice on demand!
Scales
I like the idea of the Drop scales which link to an iPad based recipe app and I think that fits well in my ‘smart home’ strategy (although I’m not sure about the iKettle)
Other stuff
I want to make fresh pasta, so I’m going to need a pasta maker and our pots and pans could do with a refresh, why not leave a comment and give me some recommendations? I’ll keep you posted on the progress of the kitchen and I’ll write reviews of all the items listed above as and when we buy them.
My beautiful boy has been in school for a week tomorrow. My lovely best friend and buddy has started school and its been an emotional start for him.
The boy is a very emotional little person, he always has been and it’s just him. It’s part of his personality and I love him for it. He shows empathy to other people who are upset or sad. He is very sensitive to being told off. On the odd occasion he would do something not quite right at nursery he’s be distraught if he got told off, even hours later when I’d pick him up he’d cry when the staff would tell me. He’s very tactile and tells me when he’s feeling sad and needs a hug. He’s just a perfect and gentle person (on the whole!) So I knew starting school would be hard for him.
At nursery the staff understood him and how emotionally sensitive he is, they’d hug him when he needed it, I know at school teachers can’t do that. They have too many other things to do and all the other children to consider.
He’s been going into school fine in the morning with no problems but it’s the evenings when the strain on him is showing. Everyday after school once we are home there have been tears and sobbing. It’s been breaking my heart to see him so upset. I’ve tried talking it out with him but I don’t think he has the words to explain it at the moment so just says he doesn’t know why he’s so upset. I love this little guy so much but I don’t know how best to help him.
(First day, after school shot – hence the untucked shirt!)
I have to remember he’s only just turned 4 (he’s an August baby) and school is a massive change for him. Even though he’s used to long days at nursery, school is a completely different environment and peer group.
I hope dear sweet boy that you can make some friends at school and that you start to enjoy it. I’m sure you will, it’s just going to take time to adjust to everything. It’s a new environment, new peer group and new adults to care for you, new routines, new rules and new lessons to learn.
For now though as always I’m here for you, to hold you and hug you and wipe those tears away. We can get through this together xxxx
I don’t talk about my day job on my blog as I like to try to keep my work and personal life separate. However today I felt like I needed to write a little bit about where I have been.
I work for the NHS, I always have, ever since I left school, doing various roles, working my way up and learning new skills all the time. For the last few years I’ve been comfortable in my job, just plodded along and done my best. I’ve had gaps to have my beautiful babies but now I feel much more ready to step up a notch within work. I’m engaged, I want to help, I like getting involved with things that are going on.
Today I attended the NHS Expo in Manchester, which is on for two days at Manchester Central. I have come away feeling amazed, enthused and so fired up to be the best I can be at work. I want to help lead change at work, the NHS as an organisation is always changing, always evolving, always going forward. I want to be a part of that. I’ve attended lots of different sessions today covering a broad range of subjects. I was able to listen to talks about ‘devomanc’ the devolution of Manchester health and social care. I listened to other people who had built change platforms, on purpose and by accident. I was so inspired to get involved with the #matexp programme. If you haven’t heard about #matexp just look it up on twitter, the people driving it forward are an inspiration and today I was lucky enough to share the room with them and listen to them talk.
I went to a talk about the language of motivation within a team which was also fascinating, and I’d love to learn more to take back to the team that I work within. There are so many incredible people out there, driving forward with so many incredible plans and I want to be onboard!
It was standing room only at Jeremy Hunt’s speech and even then you’d have to stand 5 or so people back from the viewing window or screen, interesting to hear him talk about the future of the NHS and particularly the technology and access to your own patient records.
(My view of Jeremy Hunt from behind the viewing window!)
The expo itself has been so well organised, it’s a credit to the people behind the scenes who are making the experience seamless, there is almost too much choice! There are so many things I wanted to hear about but had to pick my priority areas. I’m looking forward to returning tomorrow to listen and join in with conversations going on throughout the NHS, after all it is the people’s NHS, lets drive it forward into the future together!
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