Dear Boys,
I’ve not written you a letter in a while, but I have been updating our adventures on the blog. Christmas has come and sadly gone. It was my best Christmas ever, seeing the excitement and surprise in your eyes boys was magical. Christmas Day at home was lovely and Boxing Day at my mum’s was a great way to spend family time together. Moving forward we just went to bed on New Year’s Eve, I couldn’t bear the thought of having to get up on New Year’s Day after only a few hours sleep! At midnight I was woken by the fireworks so rolled over to wish daddy a happy new year. The year started on a high with us all spending some time together as thankfully daddy had time off work.

IMG_1204
Boy you have been growing so fast again, I’ve just submitted your school application. I can’t believe that you’re going to school in September, where has the time gone? I hope we get our first choice but we won’t find out until April now, so all we can do is wait. You’ve made me laugh so much recently with the things you say. The other day you were playing kitchens and offered to make me a smoothie, I gratefully accepted so you went off to make it. Bringing it back to me I asked you what was in it. After doing your thinking face (rolling eyes to ceiling) you replied “Raisins, macaroni and errrr…….sausages!” I’m sure that would have been lovely….not!
I nearly cried laughing listening to you in the car the other day too, we’d had fun counting and as we got to 100, you said “100 uh that’s stinks!” that wasn’t even the funny part,although I did laugh a little, following your lead I said “Oh yes 100 really stinks doesn’t he”. A few minutes later you started talking to yourself quietly in the back of the car this is what I heard, with all the parts spoken by you:
– Awwww what the matter 100?
Somebody said I stink
Who said you stink?
*whisper* Mummy said I stinked
(Shouting at me) Mummy that’s not nice, 100 is sad
I was nearly crying laughing at you telling me off for saying 100 stinks, you had started it all! You’ve also started being a bit cheeky and calling me a “silly dumpt” when something’s not going your way. I’ve had to tell you not to call me a dumpt, whilst trying not to laugh. I don’t know where you got that one from!
This last week you’ve had tonsillitis again, when you speak you sound like you’ve got cotton wool stuffed in your mouth. It’s not been too bad when you’ve had some pain relief but my heart hurts in the night when you wake up crying and I can’t get to you because of Flixster. Daddy always goes to administer cuddles and more pain relief but it hurts me when I just want to scoop you up and cuddle you all night long. I think we’re over the worst of it now and back on the up, hopefully you can get back to nursery tomorrow and a bit more of a routine rather than spending the day in pjs stuck in the house.

IMG_1177

 
Flixster you’ve just turned 9 months and I love you so much but you continue to frustrate me with your sleeping or lack of it! All evening we are up and down stairs to you unable to have any time to get anything done. I noticed this week your first tooth popping through. It’s a top one which I didn’t expect first and it looks like a big one so I think you may have rabbit teeth like mine! I’m desperately hoping things improve with your sleep soon, I’m not sure how much more I can take.
I’ve started back at work this week so you’ve had your first full day in nursery. I tried not to think of you most of the day so that I didn’t get upset. I think it will have been quite a shock for you as you’re such an attached baby, but we have no choice, I have to go back to work. I picked you up and the ladies said you’d been unsettled at times but at other times you were ok. I hope you settle in soon, for now it’s only 1 day a week so at least I still have you for 6 days. Your brother seems happy there so I hope in time you will be too. Even when I go back to my usual hours in April you’ll only be there for 3 days a week so I’ll still see you for 4 days. I know you’re safe there so that settles my mind.

IMG_1166
Looking forward through the year, we’re hoping to have many great family times. We already have a short break planned to Center Parks in March with Grandma and Grandad, it’s the one we had to rearrange after we found out you were due in our lives so it’s been a long time coming since we booked it a couple of years ago! I hope we have some good weather again this year like last so we can spend some great times on the beach near Grandmas house in Lytham. I see many a picnic to be had this year. With you starting school boy we won’t be able to have any autumn breaks this year so maybe we can for something in over the summer if finances allow.

I’m looking forward to another year watching you grow together boys and making lots of lovely family memories.

Please always remember I love you unconditionally ….forever.

Love Mummy x

Dear Boys,

As the festive season is upon us I wanted to tell you what Christmas was like when I was a child. I know it’s probably hard to imagine mummy as a child herself but it doesn’t seem very long ago to me at all. Once you are all grown up yourselves you will realise why I say that. Christmas as a child was magical and it still is up to this day but the magic is now seen through your eyes. My mum had a tradition of not putting up the decorations until a week before Christmas and we weren’t allowed to put up the tree until Christmas eve itself. I understand now why she did it as she didn’t want us getting over excited I guess but at the time I never understood. All my friends had their trees up and we weren’t allowed until the day before. It did I suppose make putting the tree up all together a very exciting time. As a child we always had an artificial tree, in fact I’m pretty sure we had the same tree throughout my childhood, I remember us getting a new one when I was in my early teens. I loved the smell of an artificial tree. As daft as that sounds they always have a certain smell and to me that was the smell of Christmas. Year after year we used to get out the same decorations and I loved them. They all felt familiar, felt like Christmas had arrived. It made my heart leap with excitement.
On Christmas eve one year mum surprised us with duvets, I must have only been about 5 or 6 at the time but up until then we had traditional blankets on the bed, I remember having to pull them up, we’d have a sheet and them maybe two or so heavy blankets. But that particular year we went up to bed on Christmas eve and Mum had bought us both a duvet and duvet cover. Seems daft ow something so simple but I remember it so clearly.
We’d always leave out a mince-pie, a glass of milk and a carrot near the tree for Father Christmas and his reindeer, alongside our neatly folded pillow case then head on up to bed. I never tried to stay up late to see Father Christmas but I do remember the sleepless nights, I’d toss and turn all night waking up every so often to see if it was morning time. That night always felt so magical, like there was glitter in the air. There were never present put under the tree until that magical night. I’d sometimes get up to look out of the window to see if I could see the big man himself flying through the air. In my childhood there was no internet so we couldn’t track his journey like we do today!
Each Christmas morning Father Christmas would leave a stocking on mine and your Uncle’s door handle, which would have small wrapped gifts inside. We still have the same stockings today from mum (your grandma) There was always some smells and without a doubt I’d get marshmallows as well. Often there would be some chocolate which would have been eaten by breakfast time! So we’d get our stockings and head to Mum and Dad’s bedroom and sit with Mum (dad would hide under the pillow snoozing!) and open the stockings. Once that was done we’d have to get dressed before we were allowed to go downstairs. That rule used to frustrate me as it seemed to stall the proceedings but obviously that was the quickest we’d get dressed all year! Once we were dressed we’d head downstairs to see if he’d been. We were very lucky children as he’d always make a stop off at our house. I remember marvelling at the half eaten carrot and crumbs of mince-pie and the empty glass of milk. It felt very exciting to me that the big man himself had taken the time to eat the goodies we had left him, I could never quite believe he’d come into our house. I remember loving the sight of a pillow case full of presents just for me, I still do!
Your Uncle was always a fast present opener, he’d be tearing at the paper on gift number 3 whilst I was still carefully removing sellotape from the first present. I really like to take my time. We were allowed to open our present all morning long while mum popped in and out of the kitchen to cook the dinner. When we were much smaller we would go to church on Christmas morning with my Grandma, I remember coming back from church one year to a big box, it was my pram. I loved that pram, it was a miniature silver cross coach build one. I wonder what happened to it, I’ll have to ask my mum about that. I’d love to get you a pram boys but you’ve never been interested in playing with dolls, I wouldn’t hesitate if you did ask for one though! As we got a little older and Grandma wasn’t as mobile we used to stop by her house for a while instead of her coming to us.
Christmas dinner was usually served in the middle of the afternoon and was turkey with all the trimmings. There was always pigs in blankets or sausages, all the veggies, roast potatoes, gravy, bread sauce, apple & cranberry sauce. The table would be heaving. We’d have crackers and wear the hats – although my head is massive so the hat always tore (I’m afraid you may have inherited this from me – I wonder if they make big head crackers these days?!) After dinner we were allowed to have the special tree presents, these were always hidden in the tree. Usually just a small gift, some socks, or a magazine etc. I don’t know where this tradition came from but it was something our family did and still do today. Some years we’d watch the Queens speech but not always, in the evenings as if we hadn’t eaten enough already mum would always do a buffet with cheeses and party nibbles. I looked forward to this every year. Dad would always moan that it was over the top and unnecessary but being a bit like Victor Meldrew we’d come to expect it. We’d carry on enjoying ourselves as we always did. By the time that was over it was time to collapse in a heap and go off to bed, sad that Christmas day was over but thankful for a lovely family day together.
As a young child I thought all people’s Christmas days were the same. It was only as I got older that I realised everyone had their own traditions and some people of course didn’t celebrate Christmas at all. I however looking back am thankful for the effort my mum must have put into our Christmas each year. All the unseen things I now realise she must have done for us. I remember Christmas as a child fondly, I wish I could go back and be invisible just like Scrooge does and watch on silently in the corner. There are a few back and white video clips of Christmas day when I was very young but nothing like we have today. I hope that when you are all grown up boys that you look back and remember magical Christmas’s in our house. I hope that you look back and remember the love most of all. The love we have for you and each other at this special time of year.

Please always remember I love you unconditionally ….forever.
Love Mummy x

P.S Don’t grown up to quickly and always, ALWAYS believe!

IMG_5467

Dear Boys,
I’m so excited about Christmas, I really am. Flixster it’s your first Christmas on earth and boy it’s your 4th. This year will be even more magical because you’re really talkative now and understanding of things. I’ve started to talk about Christmas in front of you now. I didn’t want to mention it to early but I do you want to have a great buildup. We have beautiful wooden countdown sign up in their lounge already made by Grandad. I’m hoping as well as getting a good countdown you’re also practising your numbers.

FullSizeRender

I’ve just ordered and picked up new artificial slimline Christmas tree and can’t wait to get it up. We normally wait till after daddy’s birthday but I have a feeling it will be earlier this year. You helped me decorate it last year and I hope we can do the same again this year. I’m really looking forward to seeing your face when you find out that there’s an elf coming to live with us in December. I also can’t wait for a trip to see Father Christmas on Christmas eve with daddy. Although it’s not looking good since you curled up in a ball on the floor the other day in the garden centre when Father Christmas came to give you a badge. Once again this week you have come out with some cracking lines. You’ve started to try to tell jokes, which although not particularly funny make me laugh because of the way you tell them, and the way you laugh at the end. My favourite two were this week on the way home from nursery:
Why did eggs have fun?
Because they love the shop!

Why did the parents love the shop?
Because it ‘selled’ food!
I was also very proud of you this week on the way home from nursery when I asked about the poppy that was sellotaped onto your T-shirt you told me that you’d done a ‘silenced’ to think about the soldiers, I could’ve cried. I was very proud that you’d remembered and understood as best you can being 3.
I also chuckled this week when you are asking me for a biscuit you asked for a rich teabag.
I have looked at another school this week for you and I just don’t know to do for the best. It’s such a big decision that may affect the rest of your life I just want to make sure that I get it right. We still have a couple of months to get the application form in, so more thinking time.
Flixster your learning to sit up for longer and longer each day, you were pretty wobbly at the start of last week but you stayed upright for a couple of minutes today. You still prefer standing up given the opportunity but I can’t hold you all the time! We’ve started a few finger food this week you seem to be getting on really well with them. I’ve spoon-fed you a couple of things as well and you really loved them.

IMG_5018

Pasta face!

You’re such a smiley baby and I love carrying you around in the sling but you are getting a bit heavier now. I do wish though that sometimes you’d just nap in your cot rather than in my arms or in the sling. I know you’ll grow soon enough and won’t be able to nap on me anymore so I try to treasure these times with you rather than keep thinking of all the things I need to get done. As I sit here staring at your beautiful peaceful sleepy face I wonder what you are dreaming about and hope I’m doing the best for you. It’s strange to think you may one day read this when you’re older and by then you’ll defiantly be too big to nap on me. I hope by then you’ll be sleeping better at night too, because right now I’m shattered! Getting up every hour or two to feed is very draining, and being up for the day at 4:45am isn’t going down well with daddy or I. It’s a good job you always have a smile on your face in the mornings! You still adore your brother and I love how your eyes light up each time he enters a room. I hope you’ll be great friends. I expect there to be squabbles over the years but as long as you are there for each other when you need to be that’s all I ask.
Please always remember I love you unconditionally ….forever.
Love Mummy x

 

IMG_4992

Dear Boys,

Let me start by telling you how much I love you. I really really love you both so much.
I’ve read a blog this week written by someone that I used to work with who has had a terminal illness and very sadly passed away last week. She gave me a new enthusiasm for life and a huge reminder to appreciate every single day as some people don’t get a tomorrow and we are lucky when we wake up each new day.
I will try even harder now to see the beauty of the world each day and the good in everything.

If there ever comes a time boys where I’m no longer physically here to walk by your side then please know I’ll always be with you wherever you go because I’ll be in your heart. I just want to make sure you know how much both I and Daddy love you.

Once again the days are flying by, another weekend has come and gone in the blink of an eye. I’m trying to remember to write down all the funny things you say boy. As your language is improving day by day you are getting things wrong less often so I’m trying to preserve those beautiful everyday mishaps.
You made everyone laugh this week when we went for breakfast with Grandma & Grandad, you sat down and as the waitress gave out the menus you took yours opened it up and exclaimed loudly “Lets look at the menus guy’s”. It was so sweet and funny, I wish I could bottle up moments like that.
DSC_0318_2

DSC_0329

You also came out with a great line this week whilst looking in the cereal cupboard “Oh no mummy, there’s no gruffanola” I can only presume that you meant granola and not a special type of cereal made from Gruffalo!
Yesterday on the way home from nursery I was asking you about the poppy you had made that was taped onto your t-shirt you told me that you’d had a “Silenceds at nursery to think about the soldiers” I was so proud you’d listened and taken on board what you were doing.
We’ve been to see another school this week which I really liked, I’m hoping we can put it down on the application form as first choice for you as I think you’d really like it there. There was a lot of outside space which I know you really enjoy. I will have my fingers tightly crossed that you get in, such a worrying time.
Flixster you’ve developed a proper little giggle, I love how much your eyes light up when your brother enters the room. You absolutely adore him.
blog

I went out to a matinee performance of a Barnum on Saturday and left you both with Daddy for the first time. I’m lucky that your Uncle (my brother) works in theatre so I get to see lots of shows. I enjoyed the time to myself and especially a solo coffee and mince pie, but did miss you boys.

IMG_4732
blog 1

I really enjoyed the show and I was out for quite a few hours and when I came back you were laughing your head off at Daddy and the boy throwing pillows at each other. I was so pleased that you’d all been ok together because I know how hard it can be looking after you both together single handedly!

I’m really looking forward to the build up to Christmas, I have lots of plans in the pipeline, but I’m remembering to live and love in the moment so that if we don’t get a tomorrow we’ve lived for today!

Please always remember I love you both unconditionally….forever.
Love Mummy xx

IMG_4782 IMG_4775

Dear Boys,
Once again life is flying by, I don’t know where the time is going. Days are turning into weeks and months far to quickly! We’ve had some great times over the last few weeks though.
Boy you are once again learning things at an amazing rate, your speech astounds me everyday although I have to be so careful what I say around you now, you seem to have hearing like a bat. Especially when it comes to mention of food or drink. I love that you enjoy babychinnos anytime we are out having coffee. You can easily spot a coffee shop a mile away, which is good for us! You are currently sat playing the CBeebies games on daddies computer as I type this.

IMG_4685 IMG_4686

You are particularly enjoying the game where you have to join three or more like objects in a row. It was only a few weeks ago that you couldn’t do it by yourself and now you are powering through the levels all by yourself. I love watching how pleased you are with yourself each time you complete a level.

We went to Alton Towers again last weekend and you loved spending the day in Cbeebies land. You are the perfect age to enjoy all the rides and attractions. Thankfully for us it was a lot quieter than other times we have visited so you were able to go on all the rides with minimal queue times. I love watching you confidently deciding what you’d like to ride.

IMG_4250

 

IMG_4335

I think your favourite ride this time was Postman Pat, you dragged daddy and I on it a fair few times!

IMG_4291

I stupidly forgot to bring you a jumper or coat so ended up buying a Cbeebies hoodie for you to wear. I hope that it’s big enough for you to get some decent use out of it as there weren’t many sizes left in the designs you liked.

IMG_4338

 

We didn’t take our own food on that occasion as we normally do and it was nice to see that the lunch options in Cbeebies were sandwiches and picnic style food rather than fast food. With the annual pass holder discount it didn’t work out to expensive either.

We also enjoyed a day out at Blackpool zoo recently which went down well with you. The last time we visited there you were only 30 months old so you don’t remember it. We’ve bought annual passes for the zoo so I look forward to going back a few times over the next year. The zoo was a great day out as it’s not too large which makes it little leg friendly!

IMG_4183 IMG_4155 IMG_4091 IMG_4071

I’m grateful for the particularly mild autumn this year as its meant lots of time to play outside still which you love. Your face lights up if we are able to go to one of the local play grounds to let of some steam and have a good run around. You’ve even ticked off another first…getting your face painted. I love that as there were no pictures for ideas you asked to be a rainbow.

IMG_4395

Halloween has been great, I’ve never really taken part in it before as it’s not really been my thing but I entered into the spirit of it (excuse the pun!) for the first time this year by getting some decorations. Daddy took you out to do some trick or treating at the local decorated houses as well which you loved. I’m quite sad it’s over now but have packed away the decorations for next year! My face printing skills aren’t quite as professional as the man who painted your rainbow!

DSC_0232 IMG_4595

Flixster you too have been changing and growing so much. We hit the 6 month mark recently but as you’re still not able to sit unaided I’ve not thrown myself into any complimentary feeding yet. You’re still breastfeeding as much as ever so as long as that continues I won’t be pushing the food. You’ve had a few bits of finger food here and there which you seem to enjoy but I’m not going to make it a regular everyday thing until your able to sit fully unaided. We want to do baby-led weaning rather than mushing anything so there’s no rush. You get all you need from my milk in the mean time.

You finally rolled over completely all by yourself this past weekend so I know sitting will come soon. Unfortunately I think you are beginning to go through the “only mummy will do” phase, as you are even unhappy in grandmas arms. I know it will pass and as you spend most of your life attached to me in a sling then there’s no problem.

After the zoo visit we made our annual trip to see the Blackpool lights. Ever since your brother was born each year we go and have a walk along the static displays at the Bispham end of the lights. We always park up and have fish and chips first then we have a wander down the lights and back, it’s just our family thing now which I love doing. This year as we’d been to the zoo with grandma and grandad we invited them to come along too. It was your first time at the lights Flixster and you slept all the way through it only waking for a few minutes at the end, oh well maybe next year!

IMG_4215

 

I’m so proud of how you are now interacting together. Flixster you are laughing at anything your big brother does, especially if it’s a little bit naughty which is encouraging him even more. I can’t help but laugh sometimes! I hope growing up you stay close as brothers and are always good friends to each other!

IMG_4572

Please always remember I love you both unconditionally….forever.
Love Mummy xx

Dear Boys,
This last couple of weeks hasn’t been quite as hectic as previous ones thankfully. We’ve settled back into our weekly routine but the time has just flown by again. Boy each day your language is getting better and better, you’re such a mimic though so we really need to watch what we say! You’ve been saying “That’s a funny angle” this week a lot which apparently grandad says, he also says “Watch out the witch is coming” (meaning grandma) that you have picked up on, I’m not sure grandma finds it as funny as I do though! This morning whilst eating your breakfast which had to be a perfect copy of mummy and daddies, which meant you had to have both cereal and toast. You also spent quite a while telling me about not wanting to wear your jumper because it didn’t have any pictures on like your T-shirt does. I remember when you first started putting sentences together you would tell me that “Girls love a batman T-shirt!” It made us laugh so much. You’re always dictating which t-shirt you want to wear each day. Perhaps you’re going to be a fashionesta! We had Flixster Christened last Sunday and you were a little star (apart from when I was asking you to sit down!) You were enjoying the hymns and trying to follow along in the hymn book like everyone else. When it came to the hymn with clapping in you stood in front of everyone at the front of the church and tried to make them all clap by shouting each persons name…..Grandad CLAP!

DSC_0084

DSC_0064

DSC_0163

We had an indoors day as well this week on Friday as neither of us were feeling great, I think you picked up a bug from nursery and passed it on, you stayed in pyjamas all day which you loved! You were so well behaved as I really wasn’t feeling great and I had both of you to look after but we survived the day and made it through to daddy coming home.

IMG_3230

Flixster you have been a little star as always this week, you’re such a chilled out baby and will go with the flow on most things, the complete opposite to how your brother was at this age or maybe it’s my memory, but I’m sure the boy wasn’t as settled as you are. He did however only get up once a night by 6 months (I didn’t realise how lucky I was!) you are still up 4 or 5 times a night, but I know it’s normal and won’t last forever. I know it’s protecting you from SIDS and that you just need the comfort of my my being there, you’re still so small. I do wish though that you wouldn’t treat 3am as playtime each night! I really could do with some gentle ideas of how I can persuade you not to do that every night. I do love the closeness and snuggles we have and will miss them once you are in your own bed. I am looking forward though to being able to clatter around the bedroom at night with the lights on rather than tiptoeing around in the dark looking for pj’s and avoiding stubbing my toe, and being able to chat to daddy without him saying “what?” In his loudest whisper voice over the top of the white noise. You almost rolled over last weekend from back to front and have been trying hard all week to do it again. We’ve had a busy week together while the boy has been in nursery with lots of groups and classes to get to, you really enjoyed the ‘Tranquil Baby’ class which started this week, especially when the bubbles started to fall.

IMG_3587

 

For the next couple of weeks we’re doing baby yoga in that class which sounds like fun although I am so inflexible we will have to see how we get on, it will be funny if nothing else! There was one night this week you slept form 7pm until 2am when you woke yourself up after a coughing fit, I’d love to know how long you would have gone on sleeping if the coughing hadn’t started. Its the first time in your whole life you’ve slept that long, I could have jumped for joy….if it hadn’t been 2am. Please please please can we have more of those nights?…..Just as I typed that you started crying in bed, you’ve only been there an hour, I’ve managed to resettle you with some patting and gentle singing. I guess when evenings are hard work I just need to remember the calories I’m burning, running up and down two sets of stairs. Its hard work now but I wouldn’t have it any other way, I’m sure in time your sleep will improve. (Fingers tightly crossed!)

Please always remember that I love you unconditionally….forever.

Mummy x