Dear Boys

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Dear Boys,
I’ve not written you a letter in a while, but I have been updating our adventures on the blog. Christmas has come and sadly gone. It was my best Christmas ever, seeing the excitement and surprise in your eyes boys was magical. Christmas Day at home was lovely and Boxing Day at my mum’s was a great way to spend family time together. Moving forward we just went to bed on New Year’s Eve, I couldn’t bear the thought of having to get up on New Year’s Day after only a few hours sleep! At midnight I was woken by the fireworks so rolled over to wish daddy a happy new year. The year started on a high with us all spending some time together as thankfully daddy had time off work.

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Boy you have been growing so fast again, I’ve just submitted your school application. I can’t believe that you’re going to school in September, where has the time gone? I hope we get our first choice but we won’t find out until April now, so all we can do is wait. You’ve made me laugh so much recently with the things you say. The other day you were playing kitchens and offered to make me a smoothie, I gratefully accepted so you went off to make it. Bringing it back to me I asked you what was in it. After doing your thinking face (rolling eyes to ceiling) you replied “Raisins, macaroni and errrr…….sausages!” I’m sure that would have been lovely….not!
I nearly cried laughing listening to you in the car the other day too, we’d had fun counting and as we got to 100, you said “100 uh that’s stinks!” that wasn’t even the funny part,although I did laugh a little, following your lead I said “Oh yes 100 really stinks doesn’t he”. A few minutes later you started talking to yourself quietly in the back of the car this is what I heard, with all the parts spoken by you:
– Awwww what the matter 100?
Somebody said I stink
Who said you stink?
*whisper* Mummy said I stinked
(Shouting at me) Mummy that’s not nice, 100 is sad
I was nearly crying laughing at you telling me off for saying 100 stinks, you had started it all! You’ve also started being a bit cheeky and calling me a “silly dumpt” when something’s not going your way. I’ve had to tell you not to call me a dumpt, whilst trying not to laugh. I don’t know where you got that one from!
This last week you’ve had tonsillitis again, when you speak you sound like you’ve got cotton wool stuffed in your mouth. It’s not been too bad when you’ve had some pain relief but my heart hurts in the night when you wake up crying and I can’t get to you because of Flixster. Daddy always goes to administer cuddles and more pain relief but it hurts me when I just want to scoop you up and cuddle you all night long. I think we’re over the worst of it now and back on the up, hopefully you can get back to nursery tomorrow and a bit more of a routine rather than spending the day in pjs stuck in the house.

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Flixster you’ve just turned 9 months and I love you so much but you continue to frustrate me with your sleeping or lack of it! All evening we are up and down stairs to you unable to have any time to get anything done. I noticed this week your first tooth popping through. It’s a top one which I didn’t expect first and it looks like a big one so I think you may have rabbit teeth like mine! I’m desperately hoping things improve with your sleep soon, I’m not sure how much more I can take.
I’ve started back at work this week so you’ve had your first full day in nursery. I tried not to think of you most of the day so that I didn’t get upset. I think it will have been quite a shock for you as you’re such an attached baby, but we have no choice, I have to go back to work. I picked you up and the ladies said you’d been unsettled at times but at other times you were ok. I hope you settle in soon, for now it’s only 1 day a week so at least I still have you for 6 days. Your brother seems happy there so I hope in time you will be too. Even when I go back to my usual hours in April you’ll only be there for 3 days a week so I’ll still see you for 4 days. I know you’re safe there so that settles my mind.

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Looking forward through the year, we’re hoping to have many great family times. We already have a short break planned to Center Parks in March with Grandma and Grandad, it’s the one we had to rearrange after we found out you were due in our lives so it’s been a long time coming since we booked it a couple of years ago! I hope we have some good weather again this year like last so we can spend some great times on the beach near Grandmas house in Lytham. I see many a picnic to be had this year. With you starting school boy we won’t be able to have any autumn breaks this year so maybe we can for something in over the summer if finances allow.

I’m looking forward to another year watching you grow together boys and making lots of lovely family memories.

Please always remember I love you unconditionally ….forever.

Love Mummy x

Siblings – A photograph project

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This is my first time joining in with a photo project that has a specific theme. I love that I have a focus, something to capture. I have known about the various photo projects run by Lucy from Dear Beautiful blog for quite a while, I have long admired hers and other peoples pictures posted each month. In particular I admire my friend Jenny’s (Let’s Talk Mommy) pictures as I love to watch her beautiful children grow both in real life and on her blog. With the start of a new year I thought it was the ideal time to join in so that I can look back in another years time and watch how my two boys have grown. So my first picture is part of the #siblings photo project. A photograph of my two boys together…..riiiiiight! This is a challenge in itself. The boy won’t keep still and when he does then Flixster is moving around. Or the boy won’t even pose, or he hugs Flixster across the face, or sits on him etc etc and so it goes on. I’m not sure that my pictures are particularly good but they do capture us, in our moment! As you can see…..

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I do however have a favourite from over the Christmas period, this was them on Christmas Eve with their matching christmas pjs on from the Christmas Eve box.

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I’m so proud of the boy and how he has adapted to life as family of four in 2014 year. He has welcomed Flixster into our life with open arms and for the most part seems to love him (except when he’s crying). Flixster adores his big brother and his face lights up when his big brother enters the room. Flixster laughs at the boy being silly and encourages his cheeky side. I hope that the coming year sees them grow a strong bond as brothers which will continue a lifelong friendship for them both.

 

 

 

 

dear beautiful

Application for School

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Well that’s it’s now the application is in for my baby to go to school.

In the end I went with my heart rather than my head. The school we’ve applied for as our number 1 choice doesn’t have the best ofsted in our area but it does have a warm friendly atmosphere when you walk into the building. The staff seem genuinely friendly and welcoming and most importantly the children seem happy. I’ve been round the school a couple of times and both times the older year 6 children have been doing the tours rather than an adult which has been nice because you know you can ask them questions and get truthful answers. The school I thought may have been our number one choice there was no chance to ask the children what they thought. The open evening was mainly based in the hall with a group of the senior staff talking about how great the school was. I’m sure that’s true but I want to see the reality of everyday school life.
The school I have chosen as our number one choice is also our nearest by disgrace which is handy as I picture myself (on the days I’m not at work) walking to and from school for drop off and pick ups rather than having to use the car. I’m also helping the distance will help with getting a place.
In our area (I’m not sure if the same applies everywhere) you have to rank three schools in order of preference, you can choose less than three but three is the maximum. I have chosen three that I would be happy for the boy to attend, with my favourite being number 1 on the list. I now have to sit back and wait until April 16th before I know the outcome. I was talking to a friend the other day who said the results of the application tend to go on just after midnight so it looks like I won’t be getting any sleep that night!
When I thought about having children I didn’t think ahead to school time, I guess I never pictured them beyond babyhood really. It’s seems strange to think that I’ll be that mum on Facebook this year putting on school uniform pictures. I’ll be that mum walking him to school for the first time and walking away from the gate without him. Being an August baby he just seems so little still. Only just 4 when he goes thorough those gates for the first time in September. I hope he copes ok with the transition to school. He does go to nursery 3 days a week so he’s used to an environment filled with other peers. Lately however he’s started not wanting to go each morning. I hope this doesn’t carry through to school. I think he’ll cope ok with the day itself as it’s shorter than nursery. We gave up his afternoon nap almost a year ago so I also think he’ll be ok concentrating during the day. Although he often has a post lunch slump it’s never more than 10 minutes or so and its more than likely the food rather than his need for a nap. He truly is full of energy he really is.
So let the waiting begin, everything is out of my control right now, I just have to wait…..

Breastfeeding a 6 year old

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So the last few weeks theres has been a story in the news about a mother who is breastfeeding her 6 year old. Being quite involved in breastfeeding myself as a volunteer supporter at my local breastfeeding group people often ask to see what my opinion is. Being involved in breastfeeding, people often challenge my opinions as well or want to tell me their own story. I’m always open to listening to peoples own journeys, why they may or may not have chosen to breastfeed. The problems they may have come across. What puts people off and what horror stories they have heard before.

When the news story came out about a mum still feeding her 6 year old it put breastfeeding in the news once again. Once again people are talking about it. What I don’t understand though is why people are bothered? Why do people feel they need to express an opinion about how that particular mum chooses to bring up her children? How does it affect anyone else other than the mum and the child? Why judge something you no nothing about? Whether you have or haven’t breastfed in your life, someone else’s feeding relationship has nothing to do with you. From the comments I have read on various news threads it seems some people can be very nasty, saying things about psychological damage to the child. What concern is it of theirs? Why even comment on a story like that? What if the child reads all of those nasty comments when they are older, surely that would do more damage to the child.

I have read the story, I have read many comments in support of her and many that are not, and I have read what various ‘experts’ have to say about it. Some experts have real qualifications, some lets say are questionable! But what I think of the situation doesn’t need to be expressed, it has nothing to do with me. What that mum does has no affect on my life or that of my own children. So please just leave her be, let her get on with her own life the way that she feels is best for her and her own children. If she’s out and about feeding and you don’t like it look the other way, no ones making you look at her.

I’m not saying what I feel about it, it doesn’t matter if I agree or don’t agree, if I support her or not, it just doesn’t matter. It’s her child, her choice and her life.


 

 

2015 – A year of goals!

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We are well in to 2015 now, already 9 days in! I haven’t specifically done a post on new years resolutions as they are just so hard to keep. I thought the better thing to do would be to write a list of goals that I would like to achieve this year. Something I can keep referring to and if its written down then at least I feel more accountable. Something to work towards. A year is a long time, 365 days to get things done, make memories, share love and cuddles. 2015 is a big year for us. The year I have to buy school uniform for the first time, the year I return to work, the year Flixster turns 1. We have so much to be grateful and thankful for and if life stopped now and we continued forever stuck in this moment then I’d be a happy person. But life goes on and I like to have things to work towards. So here it is, my list of things I’m working towards in 2015.

1) Lose my baby weight – I know it’s on most people’s lists but this year I have to do it. I don’t want to be the fat mum at the school gates, I want to feel proud to stand there when he starts school. Knowing I’ve worked hard to get rid of my baby weight once and for all!

2) Save some money – Whilst I’ve been on maternity leave our savings have been depleted and so I feel a little uncomfortable that we have no emergency fund in case of emergencies. So once I’m back at work I’d like to start saving again

3) Get back to running – I got to a point before the boy was born that I had started to enjoy running a little bit. I’ve never been a runner. I was always the last person in the school cross-country. I was never picked for running on sports day (thankfully!) so I just thought it wasn’t for me. However before the boy was born I had started to use one of the couch to 10k apps on my phone and I actually saw results from it. For the first time in my life I was doing it, I was actually running. So I’d like to get back to that. I know I’ll have to start right back at the beginning again. But I want to do it and the sooner I start the better.

4) Do things when I think of them (i.e. don’t be lazy) – I often see little jobs that need doing and most of the time I will do them but sometimes I’ll put them off and then regret it later on or the next day. This year I plan to be a little less lazy and do things instead of letting them slip.

5) Remember birthdays – I’m so bad at sending birthday cards and presents. I seem to remember a month before then forget until at least a week after the event. That’s not good enough. I really really must get them sorted this year.

6) Speak to the universe more often – I believe in speaking to the universe, I’ve read lots of books about cosmic ordering and subjects like that. I know many people are sceptical, some laugh at the idea. But I think there’s something in it, I don’t know what it is and I can’t get my head around it, but its something. So I’m going to be practising it more often.

7) Learn more – If there’s something that peaks my interest, I’m going to make a point of learning about it. An active brain is a happy brain!

8) Be less harsh with myself – I’m my own worst critic

9) Be kind to everyone I meet – Everyone is fighting some unseen battle

10) Smile and laugh more – On the whole I’m a positive person but sometimes things get on my nerves like mess and untidiness, I need to learn to let go a little and smile when things aren’t quite right, or exactly how I’d like them to be!

 

 

Mums' Days

Back to work after maternity leave

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I’m going back to work next week. I’m think I’m supposed to feel sad that my maternity leave is over and worried that Flixster is starting nursery. The truth is that I will be worried about Flixster but I’m quite looking forward to returning to work. I’m lucky that I like my job I work with a great team of people. I’m also lucky that I’m not returning five days I’m going back to the 3 long days I did after the boy was born. Flixster will be attending the same nursery that the boy goes to 3 days a week. I really like the nursery, it’s in an old cottage and feels homely. The staff are nice and the children seem happy there. So I know that he’ll be looked after, its just hard at first to picture him away from me. I will try my best not to think to much about him, not because I don’t care but because I don’t want to upset myself. there is no other way at the moment, I have to go to work so he has to go to nursery. We don’t have family close by who would be able to have them and even if we did it’s a big commitment to have children for three days each and every week, when you’ve already worked all your life and are now retired.
I’m looking forward to being back at work so that people call me Jane and not just “Flixsters mummy”. I enjoy the challenge of work, something different everyday. Its rewarding as well to know I’m helping people. I know it sounds daft too but it’s me time, time when I can think about something other than housework, feeding and nappies. Time to use my brain and give it a workout.

I’ve been for Flixsters first trial at nursery today, we went to the baby room for an hour and I stayed with him. He seemed ok but he was sat with me for the whole time so he had no reason to be concerned anything was out of the ordinary. Tomorrow I’m due to leave him at lunchtime for around 90 minutes. I’m sure he’ll be fine, but only time will tell. I hope he settles in quickly and that he understands as best he can that we’ll always be back to pick him up each evening. I’m expecting him to catch all sorts of illnesses though in the next few months, it can’t be helped when they start nursery. I’m just hoping that his immune system is nice a strong to cope with them all.

He’s still breastfed so I’ll be sending milk in with him for the nursery to give him. I’ve not started pumping yet so I’d better do that soon as he starts properly next Wednesday. I’m going to have to pump at work too as he feeds lots during the day and I don’t want to stop feeding him yet.

I’m not sure how I’ll cope with the tiredness when I’m back in work, he still feeds lots of times through the night, I guess I’ve got no option but to cope. I just hope he starts sleeping a little more in the evening soon or I’ll be spending all day at work and then the evening trying to settle him, which will mean I never get anything done.

I hope the next few months aren’t too turbulent for us as a family but I’m not so sure they are going to be easy sailing for us either. I guess only time will tell!

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Point and Shoot

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This is my first time linking up with ‘Point and Shoot’ link. I love photography, I’m not great at it but I try. I mainly use my iPhone camera as the quality is so good but my hubby has a fancy slr camera which I plan to learn to use properly this year! (Just another thing for the list of things to do!) So for my first time join in I’m using a snap of the Flixster from this weekend. Just a quick shot which we took while he was sat on daddies knee no long after he woke from his nap in daddies arms, hence the pillow face creases! We didn’t get up to much this weekend at all, feeling the pinch of maternity leave pay (i.e no pay!) we are trying to stay in a bit more and play with all the lovely things we got for Christmas rather than going out all the time and ending up buying food and drink out which always adds up easily!
So here it is my point and shoot offering!

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