The End of Reception
My eldest is in his Reception year at school. I only get to do school drop off for two days each school week because I do long hours during my three work days. I would love to drop off everyday but I am very grateful that I at least get to do two each week. Yesterday started like any normal day, the early rise as usual. Me thinking I have hours to get ready (when in fact we do have about 3.5 hours (so why is there ALWAYS, I repeat ALWAYS) a last-minute dash to beat the bell at school? Does this just happen to me?
So after the 3 hour-long battle to get both boys, washed, dressed, fed and ready we were dashing off to school once again to beat the bell. We got there just in time for final goodbyes, a kiss, a quick hug and a little wave. Me stood with Flixster waving the boy off, watching him to the last-minute until he goes through the door and turns left into the cloakroom out of sight. It was then that it hit me.
Like I walked into a solid brick wall.
Thump
That was it, that moment, he only has a week left in reception. He is finishing reception, how did this happen? Why was I so sad?
Another milestone, another glaringly obvious reminder that time never stops.
It only seems like two minutes since I was dropping him off for his taster sessions with a tear in my eye. I was sad back then because he was growing up, school were stealing my baby away. I didn’t know when I dropped him off back then that he’d end the school year in a different school. Due to our house move and the opportunity to move schools he only spent one term at his original school and the other two terms at a different one. He has settled in so well at his new school, he still talks about the old one quite a bit but knows his new one is here to stay. I know I should feel happy but I didn’t. In that very moment I just wanted to hug him and cry quietly and not let go…ever. I felt even worse letting him go because I’d only just told him off for stamping on my foot and marking my new shoes, it seems so trivial, I should have just let it go and spent longer hugging him instead.
I’m not sure I like being reminded of time passing, I’m sure everyone feels the same. Some times I need the world to stop moving so I can take an extra few moments to appreciate it.
I need the boys to make sure they know I love them, I need to bottle their little smell, frame their tiny little hands and the trusting look they give you when they need reassurance. I need to appreciate every single moment in time.