Dear Boys

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Dear Boys,
I’ve not written you a letter in a while, but I have been updating our adventures on the blog. Christmas has come and sadly gone. It was my best Christmas ever, seeing the excitement and surprise in your eyes boys was magical. Christmas Day at home was lovely and Boxing Day at my mum’s was a great way to spend family time together. Moving forward we just went to bed on New Year’s Eve, I couldn’t bear the thought of having to get up on New Year’s Day after only a few hours sleep! At midnight I was woken by the fireworks so rolled over to wish daddy a happy new year. The year started on a high with us all spending some time together as thankfully daddy had time off work.

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Boy you have been growing so fast again, I’ve just submitted your school application. I can’t believe that you’re going to school in September, where has the time gone? I hope we get our first choice but we won’t find out until April now, so all we can do is wait. You’ve made me laugh so much recently with the things you say. The other day you were playing kitchens and offered to make me a smoothie, I gratefully accepted so you went off to make it. Bringing it back to me I asked you what was in it. After doing your thinking face (rolling eyes to ceiling) you replied “Raisins, macaroni and errrr…….sausages!” I’m sure that would have been lovely….not!
I nearly cried laughing listening to you in the car the other day too, we’d had fun counting and as we got to 100, you said “100 uh that’s stinks!” that wasn’t even the funny part,although I did laugh a little, following your lead I said “Oh yes 100 really stinks doesn’t he”. A few minutes later you started talking to yourself quietly in the back of the car this is what I heard, with all the parts spoken by you:
– Awwww what the matter 100?
Somebody said I stink
Who said you stink?
*whisper* Mummy said I stinked
(Shouting at me) Mummy that’s not nice, 100 is sad
I was nearly crying laughing at you telling me off for saying 100 stinks, you had started it all! You’ve also started being a bit cheeky and calling me a “silly dumpt” when something’s not going your way. I’ve had to tell you not to call me a dumpt, whilst trying not to laugh. I don’t know where you got that one from!
This last week you’ve had tonsillitis again, when you speak you sound like you’ve got cotton wool stuffed in your mouth. It’s not been too bad when you’ve had some pain relief but my heart hurts in the night when you wake up crying and I can’t get to you because of Flixster. Daddy always goes to administer cuddles and more pain relief but it hurts me when I just want to scoop you up and cuddle you all night long. I think we’re over the worst of it now and back on the up, hopefully you can get back to nursery tomorrow and a bit more of a routine rather than spending the day in pjs stuck in the house.

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Flixster you’ve just turned 9 months and I love you so much but you continue to frustrate me with your sleeping or lack of it! All evening we are up and down stairs to you unable to have any time to get anything done. I noticed this week your first tooth popping through. It’s a top one which I didn’t expect first and it looks like a big one so I think you may have rabbit teeth like mine! I’m desperately hoping things improve with your sleep soon, I’m not sure how much more I can take.
I’ve started back at work this week so you’ve had your first full day in nursery. I tried not to think of you most of the day so that I didn’t get upset. I think it will have been quite a shock for you as you’re such an attached baby, but we have no choice, I have to go back to work. I picked you up and the ladies said you’d been unsettled at times but at other times you were ok. I hope you settle in soon, for now it’s only 1 day a week so at least I still have you for 6 days. Your brother seems happy there so I hope in time you will be too. Even when I go back to my usual hours in April you’ll only be there for 3 days a week so I’ll still see you for 4 days. I know you’re safe there so that settles my mind.

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Looking forward through the year, we’re hoping to have many great family times. We already have a short break planned to Center Parks in March with Grandma and Grandad, it’s the one we had to rearrange after we found out you were due in our lives so it’s been a long time coming since we booked it a couple of years ago! I hope we have some good weather again this year like last so we can spend some great times on the beach near Grandmas house in Lytham. I see many a picnic to be had this year. With you starting school boy we won’t be able to have any autumn breaks this year so maybe we can for something in over the summer if finances allow.

I’m looking forward to another year watching you grow together boys and making lots of lovely family memories.

Please always remember I love you unconditionally ….forever.

Love Mummy x

Back to work after maternity leave

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I’m going back to work next week. I’m think I’m supposed to feel sad that my maternity leave is over and worried that Flixster is starting nursery. The truth is that I will be worried about Flixster but I’m quite looking forward to returning to work. I’m lucky that I like my job I work with a great team of people. I’m also lucky that I’m not returning five days I’m going back to the 3 long days I did after the boy was born. Flixster will be attending the same nursery that the boy goes to 3 days a week. I really like the nursery, it’s in an old cottage and feels homely. The staff are nice and the children seem happy there. So I know that he’ll be looked after, its just hard at first to picture him away from me. I will try my best not to think to much about him, not because I don’t care but because I don’t want to upset myself. there is no other way at the moment, I have to go to work so he has to go to nursery. We don’t have family close by who would be able to have them and even if we did it’s a big commitment to have children for three days each and every week, when you’ve already worked all your life and are now retired.
I’m looking forward to being back at work so that people call me Jane and not just “Flixsters mummy”. I enjoy the challenge of work, something different everyday. Its rewarding as well to know I’m helping people. I know it sounds daft too but it’s me time, time when I can think about something other than housework, feeding and nappies. Time to use my brain and give it a workout.

I’ve been for Flixsters first trial at nursery today, we went to the baby room for an hour and I stayed with him. He seemed ok but he was sat with me for the whole time so he had no reason to be concerned anything was out of the ordinary. Tomorrow I’m due to leave him at lunchtime for around 90 minutes. I’m sure he’ll be fine, but only time will tell. I hope he settles in quickly and that he understands as best he can that we’ll always be back to pick him up each evening. I’m expecting him to catch all sorts of illnesses though in the next few months, it can’t be helped when they start nursery. I’m just hoping that his immune system is nice a strong to cope with them all.

He’s still breastfed so I’ll be sending milk in with him for the nursery to give him. I’ve not started pumping yet so I’d better do that soon as he starts properly next Wednesday. I’m going to have to pump at work too as he feeds lots during the day and I don’t want to stop feeding him yet.

I’m not sure how I’ll cope with the tiredness when I’m back in work, he still feeds lots of times through the night, I guess I’ve got no option but to cope. I just hope he starts sleeping a little more in the evening soon or I’ll be spending all day at work and then the evening trying to settle him, which will mean I never get anything done.

I hope the next few months aren’t too turbulent for us as a family but I’m not so sure they are going to be easy sailing for us either. I guess only time will tell!

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Dear Boys,

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Dear Boys,
This last couple of weeks hasn’t been quite as hectic as previous ones thankfully. We’ve settled back into our weekly routine but the time has just flown by again. Boy each day your language is getting better and better, you’re such a mimic though so we really need to watch what we say! You’ve been saying “That’s a funny angle” this week a lot which apparently grandad says, he also says “Watch out the witch is coming” (meaning grandma) that you have picked up on, I’m not sure grandma finds it as funny as I do though! This morning whilst eating your breakfast which had to be a perfect copy of mummy and daddies, which meant you had to have both cereal and toast. You also spent quite a while telling me about not wanting to wear your jumper because it didn’t have any pictures on like your T-shirt does. I remember when you first started putting sentences together you would tell me that “Girls love a batman T-shirt!” It made us laugh so much. You’re always dictating which t-shirt you want to wear each day. Perhaps you’re going to be a fashionesta! We had Flixster Christened last Sunday and you were a little star (apart from when I was asking you to sit down!) You were enjoying the hymns and trying to follow along in the hymn book like everyone else. When it came to the hymn with clapping in you stood in front of everyone at the front of the church and tried to make them all clap by shouting each persons name…..Grandad CLAP!

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We had an indoors day as well this week on Friday as neither of us were feeling great, I think you picked up a bug from nursery and passed it on, you stayed in pyjamas all day which you loved! You were so well behaved as I really wasn’t feeling great and I had both of you to look after but we survived the day and made it through to daddy coming home.

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Flixster you have been a little star as always this week, you’re such a chilled out baby and will go with the flow on most things, the complete opposite to how your brother was at this age or maybe it’s my memory, but I’m sure the boy wasn’t as settled as you are. He did however only get up once a night by 6 months (I didn’t realise how lucky I was!) you are still up 4 or 5 times a night, but I know it’s normal and won’t last forever. I know it’s protecting you from SIDS and that you just need the comfort of my my being there, you’re still so small. I do wish though that you wouldn’t treat 3am as playtime each night! I really could do with some gentle ideas of how I can persuade you not to do that every night. I do love the closeness and snuggles we have and will miss them once you are in your own bed. I am looking forward though to being able to clatter around the bedroom at night with the lights on rather than tiptoeing around in the dark looking for pj’s and avoiding stubbing my toe, and being able to chat to daddy without him saying “what?” In his loudest whisper voice over the top of the white noise. You almost rolled over last weekend from back to front and have been trying hard all week to do it again. We’ve had a busy week together while the boy has been in nursery with lots of groups and classes to get to, you really enjoyed the ‘Tranquil Baby’ class which started this week, especially when the bubbles started to fall.

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For the next couple of weeks we’re doing baby yoga in that class which sounds like fun although I am so inflexible we will have to see how we get on, it will be funny if nothing else! There was one night this week you slept form 7pm until 2am when you woke yourself up after a coughing fit, I’d love to know how long you would have gone on sleeping if the coughing hadn’t started. Its the first time in your whole life you’ve slept that long, I could have jumped for joy….if it hadn’t been 2am. Please please please can we have more of those nights?…..Just as I typed that you started crying in bed, you’ve only been there an hour, I’ve managed to resettle you with some patting and gentle singing. I guess when evenings are hard work I just need to remember the calories I’m burning, running up and down two sets of stairs. Its hard work now but I wouldn’t have it any other way, I’m sure in time your sleep will improve. (Fingers tightly crossed!)

Please always remember that I love you unconditionally….forever.

Mummy x