Dear Boys – An update letter for each you part 1 – My eldest baby

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Dear Thomas,

This is a letter for you. I don’t want to muddle you all up in my head. I want a separate letter to each of you. so my darling Thomas this is for you.

I don’t know how hard it is for you to be the eldest of 3. I was the eldest of two and as a girl that makes me different to you. I know that you are very clever and the things you come out with everyday astound me. I know you have a large capacity for remembering things, because you so easily recall events that my mind has lost. Sometimes I probably expect too much of you and for that I am sorry. I try everyday to remember that you are just 7. A very grown up 7 but 7 none the less.

When I ask you to help (when you are actually are listening!) then you do. I know you are eager to please me and I appreciate it very much. I know too that you are sensitive and caring, and can sense when the atmosphere isn’t quite right. I love you so very much my first born gorgeous boy. I promise I’ll try and spend some time just me and you in the months to come so that you get chance to properly have conversations and express yourself. I know at home life can sometimes be very busy with lots of attention on little Roo. It won’t always be like that though. He will grow too and turn into a mini you.

You are doing well at school and seem to be enjoying learning to play the cornet.

I’ve noticed sometimes you find it hard to maintain friendships as you tend to lead in things and don’t always listen to everyone else. You don’t have a great imagination and are happy to watch telly or play a game or read.

You very much love your brothers and sometimes it can be suffocation for them to have you kiss them, especially Too when he’s pushing you away. Maybe just a quick kiss is acceptable, you don’t have to hoover him up with love!

How did you grow up so quickly?

Sometimes you don’t always think before you do things and I hope that I can steer you away from that, as it comes across as selfish. I know that if you sat down and thought first about words or actions you wouldn’t have done it. It just makes me sad when you seem selfish, so it’s something we need to work on.

It broke my heart recently to hear you say that you don’t think people like you as you are odd. You’re not odd, the world needs people like you. We need people like you to teach us things, to be the clever ones. The caring ones. You’ll grow and learn that everyone is different and thats ok. Don’t ever think you don’t have any friends. You have me, I’m your vest friend and will always be here for you. As you find your way through life you can count on me if you need me.

Keep living, keep learning and keep loving.

Never forget I love you always and forever.

Love Mummy xxx

Dear Boys – It’s been a while

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brothers

Dear Boys,

Sorry I haven’t written in a while and when I started writing to you I thought I’d have more to write about.  I guess life gets in the way. I’ll try and make more of an effort and make sure our little moments aren’t forgotten about with the passing of time.

So much has happened since I last wrote and so much is about to change.

To my beautiful first born big boy. This summer you turned 6 years old. Where has the time gone? It doesn’t seem two minutes since you were a new born and I was struggling with all those sleepless nights. The long lonely nights of feeds and comforting. Back in the early days it was hard but I had no experience of this before and it was all so new. How quickly 6 years has passed. You are now developing into a handsome, thoughtful, clever little boy who makes me proud everyday. You really like reading comics and playing computer games just like your daddy. You are most proud of you ‘Library’ and ‘office’ in your bedroom. For your birthday you asked for stationary, a microscope, a cricket set and some other littel things. You were happy with the carrot cake we bought at your request.

The stationary went down really well, you were so happy with all the bits and pieces that Grandma had bought for you, including the hole punch and paper clips.

You have now started year 2 in school and I think you’re getting on ok. It’s only been a week but so far so good. I know you dislike writing so will try and get away with minimum effort on that but it would be nice if you at least tried! Maths and reading are your absolute strong subjects. You are a little wizard with numbers, I hope you carry on learning and enjoying maths as much as you do now. All I ever ask is that you try your very best with everything.

To my beautiful baby boy (soon to be not such a baby) you are fast developing the cheekiest little personality. Your speech over the last few months has come on so quickly and I can now hold full conversations with you which I love doing. You are showing more of an interest in books too and love listening to a bedtime story (if you’re not distracted too much!) Your favourite thing is to be outside, you’re such an outdoor person. You love nothing better no matter what the weather than throwing on a pair of shoes and getting out. The first thing you tell me about nursery is if you’ve had chance to go out or not.

At nursery you’ve now moved up to the pre-school room and you are learning more and more each day. The lovely ladie have also noted how you’ve started to come out of your shell and speak a lot more. You are good at nursery which I’m pleased about as you’re not always an angel at home! I think you and your brother wind each other up quite a bit when you are together though so it’s not just you! After Christmas you’ll be starting at the new nursery which is attached to the school I hope you will attend. To prepare you we’ve visted and talked about it lots, so much so that you want to go now. I do hope you love it as much as your current nusery. Your current nursery i so much more homely and they’ve known you a long time. the new nursery is much more like a school but I guess I have to let you grow up sometime. You won’t be my baby forever. Although for now I treasure the times you get so tired on a Friday night when we watch family films that you fall asleep in my arms, like a baby. I love it.

 

We’ve started toilet training 5 days ago and so far so good. You seem to have mastered the wee’s and were doing ok with the poo’s until you got to nursery. Hopefully you’ll get it very soon and stop having the accidents. I think you just get so distraced when playing and forget! I’m proud of how you’ve done though so far.

All too soon boys our little world of just you two will change forever as you’re new brother arrives to join us. I’m worried that you’ll feel pushed out but I’ve tried to include you in everything. I hope you remember watching the bump grow as you grow older yourselves. At 6 and 3 you’re likely to not remember a whole lot about the pregnancy but I do want to involve you. This is the last little person we’ll be adding to the family and I guess he will take the place of ‘baby boy’. I hope we don’t upset the balance.

I’m planning another home birth and I sort of hope it coincides with you being able to be there when he’s born. I think it would be a fabulous thing for you to experience and I think you’d be ok with it all and take it in your stride. I thik it would help you understand that the baby just didn’t turn up out of the blue but arrived into this world surounded by love.

Just becasue we’re having another baby doesn’t mean I will love you any less, in fact I hope my love will just keep on growing like it always has with you both. My heart can accomodate one more little guy.

I can’t wait for you to all grow up together, I hope you all stay close. By close I mean close at heart, no matter where life takes you. No matter what journey you follow or how far you travel always know you have each otherNever forget I love you with all my heart forever and always.

Mummy xxx