When I thought about myself as a parent before I had children, I always thought about the sort of parent I’d be. Would I be strict? Would I be gentle, or would I get all shouty? I never thought about what sort of child I’d have.
The boy is now 4 years old and has been in school for half a term. Being his mum obviously I know him inside out. I know what motivates him and what pushes him away. I know what he loves and doesn’t love. I know he’s a very emotional child.
He has masses of empathy for other people. If he sees someone being told off or being treated unfairly he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like loud noises, or shouting. He always knows when I’m sad, even if I’m just pretending, even when he’s busy doing something else. He gets very upset watching sad things on television, he fights back tears.
I have never told him to not be so sad, I always give him cuddles when he feels like that, and I have certainly never used the words ‘Man up’ because it’s not who he is. But I sometimes struggle to explain it to someone else.
How do you explain the complexities of an emotional child in a couple of sentences to someone you’ve never met?
Sometimes I just say he’s an emotional child, sometimes I try to explain he has a lot of empathy. Sometimes I say nothing and just let people come to their own conclusions. I just don’t want him to get hurt by anyone. It would break my heart if anyone ever told him to stop crying or man up, or if they told him it was silly to cry.
I want him to be who he is, true to himself, not having to hide his emotions. I want him to keep his empathy and to understand other people’s feelings.
I love him for exactly who he is and I don’t want him to be changed by others who think he should fit a different mould.
My beautiful boy has been in school for a week tomorrow. My lovely best friend and buddy has started school and its been an emotional start for him.
The boy is a very emotional little person, he always has been and it’s just him. It’s part of his personality and I love him for it. He shows empathy to other people who are upset or sad. He is very sensitive to being told off. On the odd occasion he would do something not quite right at nursery he’s be distraught if he got told off, even hours later when I’d pick him up he’d cry when the staff would tell me. He’s very tactile and tells me when he’s feeling sad and needs a hug. He’s just a perfect and gentle person (on the whole!) So I knew starting school would be hard for him.
At nursery the staff understood him and how emotionally sensitive he is, they’d hug him when he needed it, I know at school teachers can’t do that. They have too many other things to do and all the other children to consider.
He’s been going into school fine in the morning with no problems but it’s the evenings when the strain on him is showing. Everyday after school once we are home there have been tears and sobbing. It’s been breaking my heart to see him so upset. I’ve tried talking it out with him but I don’t think he has the words to explain it at the moment so just says he doesn’t know why he’s so upset. I love this little guy so much but I don’t know how best to help him.
(First day, after school shot – hence the untucked shirt!)
I have to remember he’s only just turned 4 (he’s an August baby) and school is a massive change for him. Even though he’s used to long days at nursery, school is a completely different environment and peer group.
I hope dear sweet boy that you can make some friends at school and that you start to enjoy it. I’m sure you will, it’s just going to take time to adjust to everything. It’s a new environment, new peer group and new adults to care for you, new routines, new rules and new lessons to learn.
For now though as always I’m here for you, to hold you and hug you and wipe those tears away. We can get through this together xxxx
Privacy & Cookies Policy
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.