Dear Boys,

Dear Boys,

I’ve not written to you in a while. I just didn’t want to just repeat the same thing over again. I wanted to make sure I had something to tell you.

Boy – You’ve said some adorable things recently. Its moments when I hear you say loving things to me, Flixster or Daddy that make my heart melt. Yesterday when I was brushing my hair you insisted on using the brush too saying you didn’t want to look like a ‘Squarecrow’. It was just beautiful. You are so loving with Flixster too, always trying to cheer him up if he’s sad, or play peek a boo to keep him entertained.

Sometimes though I do wonder if you can’t exhale without speaking or making a noise, even when you’re eating you have to make a humming noise. I was chatting to you the other day and politely asking you to keep the noise down in the back of the car as I was trying to concentrate and you came back with ‘Sorry Mummy I can’t turn the volume down on my voice as I’ve got a big massive chicken inside me and he keeps making me loud!’ I laughed so much I nearly cried! I don’t know where you get these things from!

While we were on my bed changing Flixsters nappy the other day I was gentle playing with his feet. You came over took one sniff and exclaimed ‘Pooooooooooweeeeey, his feet smell of Halloween things and Halloween dresses’. That was a weird one, since we are now in March!

We’re still waiting to find out which school you’ll be going to, we’ll find out in April. I dearly hope you’ll be ready for school being an August baby. It’s going to be a tough transition for you I think as you don’t deal well with change but I will prepare you as best I can for it. I can’t imagine you in a school uniform but the time will soon be upon us and you’ll be my baby no longer. I never thought I’d be a crying mum at the gates but the closer we get the more I’m getting emotional about it.

Flixster – Time is passing so quickly, a little too quickly. This week you’re turning 11 months, not far from your first birthday already. This last week you’ve tried so hard to learn to crawl and to some extend you’ve managed it now. It’s a mix of wiggling, pushing and rolling, but you’re getting where you want to be, and thats usually where I don’t want you to be! Yesterday on the way to Grandma’s I had to stop the car quickly after your brother exclaimed that he thought you were eating paper, then he shouted no mummy its LEGO! Indeed you were eating two pieces of lego, goodness knows if they’d been in your mouth since we left the house or if you’d concealed them in your hand then later popped them in your mouth. I really do have to keep an extra eye out for you now you’re on the move.

You’ve started nursery but I don’t think you like it one bit, and all I can say is sorry. Sorry you have to go there, sorry we have to leave you. Sorry you don’t understand why we’re not there for you but one day I will explain to you why. I know the people there look after you and your brother is very happy there. It’s a lovely place and I know you’re safe but being such an attached baby I think you’re finding the transition hard. I can’t not work though, I have to go back to work to earn money to keep us in our home. I just hope you settle in soon. I’m sending in breastmilk for you to have so hopefully that’s bringing you comfort during the day. I love you so much and it’s hard to see you upset there, but we don’t have any other option right now.

Together you are playing, although boy I’m not sure you’re too keen on how mobile and interested Flixster is in all your toys. I’m trying to explain to you that Flixster isn’t actually snatching on purpose, he just wants to see what your doing. His face still lights up when you enter the room, I think you’re going to be good friends.