If you’ve read my blog before you may realise I talk about birth a lot. I love giving birth. I have enjoyed my last two births at home. You can read about my home birth here.
It’s socially acceptable to talk about birth. However at the other end of life is death. It will happen to everyone at some time. Yet most people shy away from talking about death. I’ll quite happily chat about it though.
The trigger for this post came this week when I spotted a rainbow hearse out on the road (twice in the same week).
I just thought it was beautiful. The second time it passed me I noticed it was owned by co-op funeral care. This isn’t a sponsored post by the way. I just wanted to mention that it’s beautiful.
So thinking about death I thought I’d write a post to explain what I’d like to happen when I pass away (not that I plan to for a very very long time!)
First and foremost I’d like to be cremated. As I understand it’s cheaper than a burial and the last thing I want to be is a financial burden for my family. Also I prefer the idea of being ashes and floating on the wind than being got by the worms. Plus I’m claustrophobic so at least I won’t feel cooped up in a box buried in the earth. Cremation is for me.
If my family want to see my body when I’m dead then that’s fine by me. If it helps to heal the hurt and say goodbye that’s ok. But please make sure I look ok. Ask someone to do my makeup as I would have in life, give them a photo! I don’t want to look like a clown upon departure from the earth.
I love the rainbow hearse and so if possible would love to travel in that to the place of service. I also love flowers, so ask that if you are putting any in the hearse don’t waste money on ones that die quickly and you end up leaving at the crematorium. By all means put a bunch or two in to make it look cheery for my final journey but take them away with you after the service. Put them in water at home in a vase. Get joy from them as I would have. Don’t leave them to die on the pavement. I’ve never been a fan of the flowers that spell a word. You know the ones I mean. I know some people like them but I just think they are a waste of money, not for me please.
At the service plan songs and hymns, I love music.
Children – now I know when people die the question of children is often asked for the service. Please don’t think you can’t bring them. Death is part of life. I think it’s perfectly ok for them to see people upset about death. Its normal. Please don’t try to make them be quiet either. Let them run around if they want to. It’s ok, no etiquette for me. Let them sing and play, let them be them. Let them be children.
Don’t wear black because you think you have to. Wear anything that feels comfy. If you want to wear leggings and a yoga top because you feel comfy, do it!
Have a celebration afterwards. Talk about me and relive the good times. Don’t make it morbid. I have and am still living a wonderful life. I try to make the most of everyday. I am eternally grateful for all I have in life. Be grateful for my life.
And finally most importantly, go on and live your own life. (This one is mainly for my own children) No amount of being upset about my passing will improve your own life. I want you to make the best of it. It’s ok to always remember me but don’t make your life down because I’m not in it.
I love living and when I’m gone you should too x